10 Things You Need to Know About Feminism

An awesome post from Sophia.

Sophia Ismaa

Feminism is defined as “the advocacy of women’s rights on the ground of the equality of the sexes.” However, for a movement that seeks to create a better world for both men and women, it has received a significantly terrible reputation. Be it calling us “feminazi’s”, man-haters, bra-burners or even simply misunderstanding what feminism means. I’m here to clarify some basic misconceptions about feminism, so keep reading!

new girl

  1. You can be a feminist and be a homemaker. In fact, being a homemaker can be your actual profession. How you choose to live your life is up to you and all that matters is that your profession doesn’t harm others and that you are happy. You cannot complain about a woman not having a “real job” when it doesn’t affect you. If your values centre around being a particular kind of working woman, then do you. They are not obliged to live…

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Stationary Book Tag!

Hello, marshmallows of the universe!

Today is the day that I complete the Stationary Book Tag, which I was tagged for by the wonderful Whimsy Pages.

[When I first read the title of the tag, I thought that it meant ‘stationary’ like, Help me, I’m stuck in quicksand. I can’t move. Ignore my random brain vomit. I thought I’d share. The vomit. Because vomit is made to be shared. (Because, you know, when someone vomits, somebody else sees the vomits and then they vomit and I’m getting distracted.)]


RULES

  • THANK THE CREATOR: SAM @ RIVERMOOSEREADS
  • ANSWER THE QUESTIONS.
  • ADD PICTURES! (IF YOU WANT TO)
  • TAG (ABOUT) 5 PEOPLE.

PENCILS: FAVOURITE CHILDREN’S BOOK

I’m going to confess something on here for (possibly?) the first time. Don’t hurt me. I hated reading until about second grade. Why? Because (a) I couldn’t read well until second grade (b) everyone else in my class could read and (c) PICTURE BOOKS SUCK (Well, at least the ones that I read). They were stupid and had no action, no adventure. Many were about daily activities, good morals, boring topics. And the ones with action and adventure (*cough* *cough* Magic Tree House/Rainbow Magic) were SO repetitive. The same thing happened in every book. It was basically copy-and-paste, copy-and-paste. It was predictable. It wasn’t THRILLING.

My favorite children’s books were The Secrets of Droon series and the A to Z Mysteries series. They had it all. Intrigue, suspense, thrill, adventure.


PENS: A BASIC STAPLE FOR ANY READER

There are many books that simply must be read by everyone, but I’m going to agree with Whimsy Pages and go with the everpresent Harry Potter.


NOTEBOOKS: BOOKS YOU OWN A MULTIPLE COPIES OF

I currently have two copies of Simon vs The Homo Sapiens Agenda on my bookshelf, but one of them is a present for my friend. I don’t usually (or ever) buy two copies of a book.


MARKERS: BOOKS WITH BEAUTIFUL COVERS

My favorite cover is  The Language of Thorns by Leigh Bardugo. The art on the inside is gorgeous as well.

the language of thorns.jpg


GLUE: TWO CHARACTERS THAT WORK TOGETHER EVEN IF THEY AREN’T TOGETHER

I’m not entirely sure what this means. Like, friends? My go-to answer is Keefe Sencen and Sophie Foster from Keeper of the Lost Cities, but I talk about Keeper all the time, so I’m going to go with Mare and Farley from Red Queen.


SCISSORS: WHAT BOOK WOULD YOU LIKE TO DESTROY

I wouldn’t actually destroy a book. I don’t have it in me. But hypothetically, I’d love to destroy Matched by Ally Condie. I wasted too much of my life reading the book.


ART KIT: WHAT COMPLETER SERIES YOU OWN

  • Red Queen Quartet by Victoria Aveyard
  • Six of Crows Duology by Leigh Bardugo
  • The School for Good and Evil Trilogy by Soman Chainani.
  • The Hunger Games Trilogy by Suzanne Collins
  • Keeper of the Lost Cities by Shannon Messenger
  • Lawless Trilogy by Jeffrey Salane
  • Shades of Magic Trilogy by V.E. Schwab

I’m Tagging…

“Where Babies Come From” According to Mini Arachnid

Before my brother was born, I thought that babies were things that people just had or didn’t have. Like hair.

I guess I just never stopped to consider, hey, where did this baby come from? just like I never stopped to consider, hey, where did this couch come from?

When my mom was pregnant with my brother, my parents told me that this future person was inside my mother. *Explosions of insanity* Like, did she eat him? Is that ethically correct? I don’t think I fully comprehended this until she gave birth, though.

I remember the day before my brother was due, my mother was basically a hot air balloon. If the baby is that big, then how does it even get out?

So I asked my mother, “How does the baby get out?”

And my mother and my cousin shared this look and neither of them answered. So I started guessing. “Does it come out of your mouth? That’d be so uncomfortable. Would you be able to breathe? Does it come out of your butt? Is poop a baby?”

At this point, to stop me from going any further, my mom said, “They’re going to cut it out of my stomach.”

This, obviously, horrified me. I imagined some evil cartoonish surgeon taking a huge, rusty knife to my mother and then stitching her back up like a zombie.

I mean, this was kinda true because she had a c-section.

So then four-year-old me kept thinking. Because that’s healthy. What triggers a pregnancy? I decided that it happens spontaneously. Like you’re just eating breakfast one day and bam you’re pregnant and you instantly become a human blimp. But then what’s stopping my mom from having another kid? I was not happy with the first one; a second would be a nightmare.

Little Arachnid: “Mom, what’s stopping you from getting pregnant again?”

Arachnid’s Mom: They gave me an injection so I won’t have any more kids.

Well, okay. Good enough for now.

Until people started asking if Scorpion got his nose from his dad and his eyes from his mom. I understood how Scorpion would get his eyes from his mom because I mean, he was inside her. But how would he get anything from his dad? My dad wasn’t pregnant. Maybe it’s from kissing. Like, in all that icky salival exchange noses are transferred to babies. But no. Then they wouldn’t have actors kissing each other on Good Luck, Charlie because then they’d all have kids! It’s all probably transferred through the air. Because after they get married, the dad and the mom live together, so then air particles are transferred and that’s where Scorpion gets his nose.

 

This explanation worked for me for years until we got back from a baby shower and I started thinking again.

If babies have to be surgically removed from their mothers, what did cavemen and dolphins do? Because they don’t have hospitals.

Babies must come out of their mother’s belly buttons! What else would belly buttons be used for? Right? Right?

Mini Book Reviews

Book reviews of Who Could That Be at This Hour? by Lemony Snicket, The Glass Castle by Jeannette Walls, and Seraphina by Rachel Hartman.


Who Could That Be at This Hour? by Lemony Snicket || 4/5

The adventure began in a fading town. Far from anyone he knew or trusted, a young Lemony Snicket started an apprenticeship for a secret organization shrouded in mystery and secrecy. He asked questions that shouldn’t have been on his mind. Now he has written an account that should not be published that shouldn’t be read. Not even by you. Seriously, we recommend that you do NOT ask your parents for this, the first book in his new ALL THE WRONG QUESTIONS series.
Lemony Snicket, in case you don’t already know, grew up to be the author of A Series of Unfortunate Events series.

»»∇««

As with A Series of Unfortunate Events, I wasn’t entirely sure what was going on, but it was an enjoyable read anyway. I adore Lemony Snicket’s writing style; it’s very unique and whimsical.

Unfortunately, I didn’t like this book as much as A Series of Unfortunate Events, but I have yet to finish this series (All the Wrong Questions).

The main character, Lemony Snicket, narrates the book like an old black-and-white detective show, which I like. The book also has the perfect level of absurdity, making it all the better.

I love reading prequel and spin-off series because it’s fun to see more of the minor character’s lives, but it’s unfortunate that most of the time, spin-offs are never quite as good as the original. Luckily, this was not the case for All the Wrong Questions and I highly recommend it for fans of A Series of Unfortunate Events.


The Glass Castle by Jeannette Walls || 5/5

A tender, moving tale of unconditional love in a family that, despite its profound flaws, gave the author the fiery determination to carve out a successful life on her own terms.

Jeannette Walls grew up with parents whose ideals and stubborn nonconformity were both their curse and their salvation. Rex and Rose Mary Walls had four children. In the beginning, they lived like nomads, moving among Southwest desert towns, camping in the mountains. Rex was a charismatic, brilliant man who, when sober, captured his children’s imagination, teaching them physics, geology, and above all, how to embrace life fearlessly. Rose Mary, who painted and wrote and couldn’t stand the responsibility of providing for her family, called herself an “excitement addict.” Cooking a meal that would be consumed in fifteen minutes had no appeal when she could make a painting that might last forever.

Later, when the money ran out, or the romance of the wandering life faded, the Walls retreated to the dismal West Virginia mining town — and the family — Rex Walls had done everything he could to escape. He drank. He stole the grocery money and disappeared for days. As the dysfunction of the family escalated, Jeannette and her brother and sisters had to fend for themselves, supporting one another as they weathered their parents’ betrayals and, finally, found the resources and will to leave home.

What is so astonishing about Jeannette Walls is not just that she had the guts and tenacity and intelligence to get out, but that she describes her parents with such deep affection and generosity. Hers is a story of triumph against all odds, but also a tender, moving tale of unconditional love in a family that despite its profound flaws gave her the fiery determination to carve out a successful life on her own terms.

For two decades, Jeannette Walls hid her roots. Now she tells her own story.

»»∇««

I don’t usually read memoirs, or nonfiction in general, but this book was amazing nonetheless.

I’m not really sure how to go about reviewing a nonfiction book because there’s no way to really change the plot. I can’t say “the plot should’ve been stronger” because there’s only one way the plot can possibly be.

The story was captivating. Reading this book was like living a life completely different from my own, yet Walls somehow made it relatable. The most intriguing aspect for me is that despite the fact that Walls’s parents were unrefutably irresponsible parents, Walls loved them all the same and this was made obvious through her writing. I am envious of Walls’s ability to convey emotion through her writing. This is an amazing book and I highly recommend it.

(I do wish her siblings were more detailed, especially Lori and Maureen.)


Seraphina by Rachel Hartman || 4/5

In her New York Times bestselling and Morris Award-winning debut, Rachel Hartman introduces mathematical dragons in an alternative-medieval world to fantasy and science-fiction readers of all ages. Eragon-author Christopher Paolini calls them, “Some of the most interesting dragons I’ve read in fantasy.”

Four decades of peace have done little to ease the mistrust between humans and dragons in the kingdom of Goredd. Folding themselves into human shape, dragons attend court as ambassadors, and lend their rational, mathematical minds to universities as scholars and teachers. As the treaty’s anniversary draws near, however, tensions are high.

Seraphina Dombegh has reason to fear both sides. An unusually gifted musician, she joins the court just as a member of the royal family is murdered—in suspiciously draconian fashion. Seraphina is drawn into the investigation, partnering with the captain of the Queen’s Guard, the dangerously perceptive Prince Lucian Kiggs. While they begin to uncover hints of a sinister plot to destroy the peace, Seraphina struggles to protect her own secret, the secret behind her musical gift, one so terrible that its discovery could mean her very life.

»»∇««

This book is hard to read. Not in that it covers a heavy topic, but in that the writing itself is difficult to comprehend. Spinette got me this book for my birthday (but she has yet to read it. I’m glaring at you) and I first read it two years ago. Two years ago, most of the book went over my head and I barely had any idea of what was going on. Likewise, I didn’t continue the series. I’m happy to say that my reading ability has improved since then and I both understood and greatly enjoyed this book. (Although I still recommend reading it with a well-stocked dictionary on hand.) Once you understand what is being said, you’ll realize that the writing in this book is gorgeous. It’s easily one of the best examples of prose I’ve read. I’d recommend it just for the writing. The plot is lovely, but it’s far from “action-packed”. There were many tense scenes, but no action scenes involving the main character. The plot was heavy on politics. The characters were lovely and the minor ones were adequately developed. Overall, I highly recommend this unique book.


Currently Reading: Children of Blood and Bone by Tomi Adeyemi

 

TBR

  • To Kill a Kingdom by Alexandra Christo
  • Fahrenheit 451 by Ray Bradbury
  • Keeper of the Lost Cities by Shannon Messenger (reread)
  • Our Dark Duet by Victoria Schwab
  • Shadow Scale by Rachel Hartman
  • When Did You See Her Last? by Lemony Snicket
  • Days of Blood and Starlight by Laini Taylor
  • Batman: Nightwalker by Marie Lu
  • Furyborn by Claire Legrand
  • The Traitor’s Game by Jennifer A. Nielsen

The Funniest Spam Comments

Spam Comments. We all get them, and we all hate them. Some of them are just annoying, and others contain suspicious links and/or phone numbers. (Tip: NEVER CLICK THE LINKS)

But sometimes they are absolutely hilarious, and those are the ones that we are going to laugh at the expense of today. So the next time you open your spam folder, don’t grudgingly start the arduous task of blocking and deleting all of them, excitedly start the arduous task of blocking and deleting all of them because you never know when you’ll stumble across a gem.

And then reply to said gem in a post because never reply to spam comments.


Thanks for shɑring your thߋughtѕ about aol celeƄrіty sounds.
Regards

What’s a celebrity sound? Is it like “cows go moo”, “cats go meow”, “dogs go ruff”, “pigs go oink”, etc.?

Mother (to Toddler): What sound does a cow make?

Toddler: Moo.

Mother: What sound does a sheep make?

Toddler: Baa.

Mother: What sound does a celebrity make?

Toddler: …


I savor, resuult iin I found exactly what I used to bee taking a look
for. You’ve ended my 4 dayy lengthy hunt! God Bless you man.
Have a great day. Bye

I glad you savored our content like a good batch of french fries. And I’m happy that we were the finish line to the four days you wasted on the internet. You know, it’ll rot your brain. Play outside or something.

May the French Fry Overlords bless you too, bro.

Have a SPLENDID day. Bye.


The Bengali film industry has been there since 1890sed a whole lot so
has got the amount of film lovers. The idea just for this indoor play centre
came in the event the Wilikie brothers tied a rope on the roof of a factory roof and slid
down it into bales of hay. My father had much he would have
educated me in but he refused to go to certainly one of my shows as an adult and teen.

This one, while being just a load of random history, creeped me out a bit. Why? Because it specifically says “The Bengali film industry”. And I’m Bengali, so I must ask, How did they know?!

And I’m sorry about your dad being mean, random internet dude.


I loved as much as you’ll receive carried out right here. The sketch is tasteful, your authored subject matter stylish. nonetheless, you command get got an nervousness over that you wish be delivering the following. unwell unquestionably come more formerly again as exactly the same nearly a lot often inside case you shield this increase.

I followed at first, sort of. But then, soon after, What?. You’ve lost me. I’m confused. Too many adverbs. What’s going on? I recommend grammar.


As you! like something extremely new? Open and look at this link. Only here the choice of girls for every unique guy and completely free! They are good slaves, they will and want perform anything you command !

This one creeps me out way more than that film industry one. I’m actually kind of outraged.

I’m hoping so hard that no one actually clicks on that link.

“They are good slaves,”

What?! What?!


Clearly, these people need to be educated on the finer points of grammar.

Read more: Interesting and Nonsensical Spam Comments

Liebster Award

Many thanks to the amazing Yes more blogs for tagging me. All you lovely marshmallows, go follow this amazing blogger! I love his writing style, it’s like a conversation.


The Rules (That I’m Totally Following Exactly)

  1. Thank the person who nominated you, and put a link to their blog on your blog. Try to include a little promotion for the person who nominated you. They will thank you for it and those who you nominate will also help you out as well.
  2. Display the award on your blog — by including it in your post and/or displaying it using a “widget” or a “gadget”. (Note that the best way to do this is to save the image to your own computer and then upload it to your blog post.)
  3. For the 2018 Liebster Award, I will be shaking things up! Write a small post about what makes you passionate about blog posting.
  4. Provide 10 random facts about yourself. (Again this year I’m making this optional. If you wish to engage with your readers it’s a great idea to include random facts about you.)
  5. Nominate 5 – 11 blogs that you feel would enjoy blogging about this award.
  6. List these rules in your post (You can copy and paste from here or simply link to this post.)
  7. Inform the people/blogs that you nominated that they have been nominated for the Liebster award and provide a link for them to your post.
  8. Interview/Q&A. Answer the questions provided by the blog nominating you and leave questions for your nominees.

Q&A

  1. What is your favorite place?
    1. My favorite place is either the library for being so ridiculously awesome or Disney World for being the place of my happiest memories. Or maybe the house I grew up in for being so beautiful. I have lots of favorite places.
  2. If you could have a conversation with anyone, who would it be?
    1. Keefe Sencen from Keeper of the Lost Cities. He’s my favorite book character and I’d love to meet him. He has a wicked sense of humor.
  3. Your most used phrase or word?
    1. Lovely. I use it far too much, but to be fair, it is an awesome word.
  4. What is the best part of blogging?
    1. Commenting and having conversations! I love talking to people all over the world about writing and books and blogging and a whole slew of random stuff.
  5. Name something that makes you laugh.
    1. Shipping individual sugar cubes in the mail.
  6. How do you relax?
    1. Reading!
  7. What do you want to achieve this month?
    1. I want to finish a short story. (Update: The short story has been completed as of 7/23/18)
  8. What is the best song you’ve ever heard?
    1. Mama by My Chemical Romance.
  9. Would you rather fly or read minds?
    1. Neither? Is that an option. I rather like the ground and I don’t really want to fly and reading minds would be awful. First, there’s the whole moral standpoint. Isn’t it an invasion of privacy? Second, I wouldn’t want to listen to everyone’s thoughts all the time. It’d be so distracting and it wouldn’t leave any room for my own thoughts. I also wouldn’t want to listen to every single thought that people think about me. It probably wouldn’t be good for my self-esteem. But if I had to choose one, I’d go with flying, just to avoid the mind reading.
  10. Do you believe we control our own fate?
    1. yes.

Read more:


Heyo, peeps! Apologies for not following the rules. It’s Scorpion’s (my brother’s) birthday today, and I’m spending time with him, so there was not enough time for all the rules. Some of the less important ones were forgotten.

Solving All Your Stupid Problems Part 2

You are a cheese hater of the greatest proportion. Excluding lactose-intolerant people, you must hate cheese more than anyone else in the human population. Your twin brother, on the other hand, loves cheese more than anyone else in the human population. Over the years, your extremely differing views on cheese have led to a growing rift between you and your twin and you are now feuding, as you have been for the last 3¾ years. One night, you go to sleep peacefully, safe in the knowledge that your loyal guard of 3½ years is protecting you and preventing anyone from entering your room while you lay vulnerable and unconscious in your bed. But, beyond the boundary of your knowledge, your brother infiltrated your circle of guards three-and-a-half years ago with his trusted friend, Kevin, and tonight is the night that they plan to act and finally end this feud.

When you are sleeping deeply and snoring loud enough to cover any sound a squeaky wheelbarrow may make, Kevin quietly opens the previously-oiled door and rolls in a rusty, squeaky wheelbarrow full of cheese. He surreptitiously pours the cheese over you like Mount Vesuvius surreptitiously poured ashes over Pompeii and Kevin tiptoes out of the room, leaving the wheelbarrow.

You, being a deep sleeper, don’t wake because of the cheese. But you do wake up because you had an unsettling nightmare of being buried alive in bat guano.

There is no simple solution to this simple problem. But, some (not your brother) would say “fortunately”, there is a complicated one. Fortunately, it isn’t too difficult if you hold tight to your wits. This is assuming you had any wits in the first place, of course.

I suppose one could simply dig through cheese, but there’s no thrill in that.

  • Using cheddar, provolone, and your nightcap, create a time-traveling device.
    • If you aren’t of the scientific prowess to achieve this, use pale-colored cheese to create a genie lamp. Rub the lamp and ask the genie for a time-travel device. This should result in the same results, but it’s not preferable because no one likes to deal with fussy cheese genies.
  • Use the time-travel device, however obtained, to travel back in time to when Kevin had just finished putting the cheese in the wheelbarrow.
  • Dispose of the traitor Kevin however you wish, but do it quietly, for word cannot get back to your brother that his plan has been foiled.
  • Dispose of the monstrous cheese as well. I recommend throwing it into a volcano. Cheese deserves no better.
  • Dispose of your monstrous, cheese-loving brother. I recommend throwing him into a volcano.

You are a brand new lifeguard, fresh from the assembly line. You’re not yet familiar with the tricks of the trade, but you make up what you lack with enthusiasm. Life has not yet had a chance to bring you down. You meticulously scan the beach for trouble, hoping in a place dark place of your mind you’d rather not acknowledge that something goes wrong and you can be a hero. With all your attention focused on the water, you don’t notice the curious seagull pecking around your lifeguard chair. Well, at least you don’t notice the seagull until it’s too late.

The seagull leaps into your lap in a flurry of feathers. You, in a state of shock, scream at a high frequency, scaring the seagull, who squawks back at you, frazzled, and scares you further, increasing the pitch of your scream.

The seagull finally gets fed up and hops off of your lap, but he takes your megaphone with him in his beak. The seagull waddles down the beach, the megaphone in tow. About ten yards down the beach from you, he stops and starts squawking into the megaphone. Everyone on the beach covers their ears, protecting themselves from the seagull’s horrible yodeling. You are at a loss of what to do. You’re somewhat terrified of birds, but you’d never admit it, so you need someone to help you. Someone who can either be trusted with your secret or is so oblivious to the world that they’d never figure out your secret without being explicitly told. You decide to go with the latter option and you call your cousin, a professional fisher who lives twenty minutes away.

  • Call your cousin, who happens to be a professional fisher and lives nearby.
  • Wait for your cousin to arrive. Warily watch the seagull while doing so.
  • Order your cousin to catch a fish. This shouldn’t take long as she’s a professional, right?

2 HOURS LATER

  • Most of the beach-goers have left the beach due to the incessant squawking. Your cousin finally catches a fish.
  • Take the fish from your cousin.
  • Dangling the fish on the fishing rod, lure the seagull away from the beach so the beach-goers can return.
  • Make a deal with the human-language speaking seagull to trade the fish for the megaphone.

Assuming the seagull agrees to your fair deal, your problem is solved! If the seagull has become too attached to the megaphone and refuses to trade it, I’m afraid I can’t help you.


Read more: Solving all Your Stupid Problems Part 1

How to make a paper swan

1. Get a square piece of paper

2. Fold the paper in half 4 ways along the lines

3. Pinch two of the sides together making a triangle.

4. Now for a hard part. Push the top crease to the middle to form a diamond type shape.

5. Do the same with the bottom crease. You should end up with a diamond shape, kind of like the diamond when folding an origami boat.

6. Fold the left and right corners to the middle crease.

7. Turn it over and do the same on the other side.

8. Fold the top flap down.

9. Unfold everything to get to the diamond shape again. There should be creases where it’s marked.

10. From there, take the bottom flap, where the three creases meet and prop it up. It should stay on its own.

11. Fold from where the creases are to the middle.

12. Turn it over and do the same to the other side to get elongated diamond shape.

13. Fold the diamond in half vertically on both sides, but in different directions.

14. Fold the bottom corners up on both side. How high or low depends on how big or small you want the wings to be.

15. Pat down one of the things sticking up and refine the wings.

You have now completed your swan. Good luck taking care of it!

Book Reviews

Book reviews of King’s Cage by Victoria Aveyard, Between Shades of Gray by Ruta Sepetys, and Boy Meets Boy by David Levithan.


King’s Cage by Victoria Aveyard || 4/5

Review of Glass Sword.

In this breathless third installment to Victoria Aveyard’s bestselling Red Queen series, allegiances are tested on every side. And when the Lightning Girl’s spark is gone, who will light the way for the rebellion?

Mare Barrow is a prisoner, powerless without her lightning, tormented by her lethal mistakes. She lives at the mercy of a boy she once loved, a boy made of lies and betrayal. Now a king, Maven Calore continues weaving his dead mother’s web in an attempt to maintain control over his country—and his prisoner.

As Mare bears the weight of Silent Stone in the palace, her once-ragtag band of newbloods and Reds continue organizing, training, and expanding. They prepare for war, no longer able to linger in the shadows. And Cal, the exiled prince with his own claim on Mare’s heart, will stop at nothing to bring her back.

When blood turns on blood, and ability on ability, there may be no one left to put out the fire—leaving Norta as Mare knows it to burn all the way down.

◊◊◊

I really enjoy this series and this book, but the plot in King’s Cage is slow. It’s somewhat tedious to read through and there are only two action scenes. (But these action scenes are very long, very action-packed, and very good.)

On the other hand, there was a lot of character development, especially for Mare, which I appreciated. I adore Maven as well; he’s a very complex character. I enjoyed how Evangeline was given her own story. She’s one of my favorite characters in the series. The chapters from her point-of-view are my favorite.

As always, I love Aveyard’s writing style.

Cameron is a great character, but—especially at the beginning—she seemed strangely obsessed with Mare. I see how this is useful for the book because otherwise, we wouldn’t get updates on our main character, but it was out of character.

Update from later. That was a sub-par review. It was mostly rambling. And this is a review of the review. But to be fair, I was half-asleep when writing this. I hope you will not judge my reviewing skills based on this one review.


Between Shades of Gray by Ruta Sepetys || 4/5

It’s 1941 and fifteen-year-old artist Lina Vilkas is on Stalin’s extermination list. Deported to a prison camp in Siberia, Lina fights for her life, fearless, risking everything to save her family. It’s a long and harrowing journey and it is only their incredible strength, love, and hope that pull Lina and her family through each day. But will love be enough to keep them alive?

◊◊◊

This book pulls on your heart-strings, but not as hard as other books. While the events were horrifying, the writing-style was detached and matter-of-fact. The book would’ve been more powerful if it focused more on Lina’s (the main character) emotions. Despite not being particularly emotional, the writing style was still breath-taking.

While Lina was beautifully developed, the other characters could’ve been developed more, especially her brother and mother. I would’ve liked to know more about their family bonds so I could feel the love between them instead of being told that they love each other.

Random note: I loved the nicknames Lina gave everyone. It made keeping track of the characters a lot easier (until she randomly decided to use their actual names).


Boy Meets Boy by David Levithan || 3/5

This is the story of Paul, a sophomore at a high school like no other: The cheerleaders ride Harleys, the homecoming queen used to be a guy named Daryl (she now prefers Infinite Darlene and is also the star quarterback), and the gay-straight alliance was formed to help the straight kids learn how to dance.

When Paul meets Noah, he thinks he’s found the one his heart is made for. Until he blows it. The school bookie says the odds are 12-to-1 against him getting Noah back, but Paul’s not giving up without playing his love really loud. His best friend Joni might be drifting away, his other best friend Tony might be dealing with ultra-religious parents, and his ex-boyfriend Kyle might not be going away anytime soon, but sometimes everything needs to fall apart before it can really fit together right.

This is a happy-meaningful romantic comedy about finding love, losing love, and doing what it takes to get love back in a crazy-wonderful world.

◊◊◊

I love the town that Levithan created, but aside from that, the book was underwhelming. The entire story revolves around teen drama, which I’m not fond of. It’s all about who’s dating who and who used to be dating.

The writing was bland, the characters seemed fake, and the plot was also bland. This may be the most meh book I’ve read.

It wasn’t bad. It just wasn’t good.


Currently readingWar Storm by Victoria Aveyard

TBR

  • It’s Kind of a Funny Story by Ned Vizzini
  • To Kill a Kingdom by Alexandra Christo
  • Children of Blood and Bone by Tomi Adeyemi
  • Fahrenheit 451 by Ray Bradbury
  • Keeper of the Lost Cities by Shannon Messenger (reread)
  • Our Dark Duet by Victoria Schwab
  • Shadow Scale by Rachel Hartman
  • When Did You See Her Last? by Lemony Snicket
  • Days of Blood and Starlight by Laini Taylor
  • Batman: Nightwalker by Marie Lu

Book Review: War Storm

So, I just finished the final book in the Red Queen series.

It’s the first ever series I have ever finished in the history of the world.

It was okay.

Warning! This book review consists of spoilers for the book series and War Storm so please refrain from reading this review if you haven’t read the books yet. There are spoiler free parts (only for War Storm) and spoiler filled parts.

Onto the summary:

VICTORY COMES AT A PRICE

Mare Barrow learned this all too well when Cal’s betrayal nearly destroyed her. Now determined to protect her heart –and secure freedom for Reds and newbloods like her– Mare resolves to destroy the kingdom of Norta once and for all… starting with the crown on Maven’s head. But no battle is won alone, and before the Reds may rise as one, Mare must side with the boy who broke her heart in order to destroy the boy who almost broke her. Cal’s powerful Silver allies, alongside Mare and the Scarlet Guard, prove a formidable force. But Maven is driven by an obsession so deep, he will stop at nothing to have Mare as his own again, even if it means destroying everything- and everyone- in his path. War is coming, and all Mare has fought for hangs in the balance. Will victory be enough to topple the Silver kingdoms? Or will the lightning girl be forever silenced? In the epic conclusion to Victoria Aveyard’s stunning series, Mare must embrace her fate and summon all her power… for all will be tested, but not all will survive.

Non-spoiler Section

Despite the description, this book is actually a messy, imperfect and odd way to end the Red Queen series. It’s very long (being 662 pages) but, for some reason the series feels unresolved. I will go into the specific reasons why in the spoiler section.

For now, let’s focus on what the book did right. In War Storm, Mare and other main characters feel so much more human and have clear motivations other than to defeat the Maven. Mare’s family is fleshed out more (especially Tramy), Evangeline’s love interest Elane burns a fire in her heart, and Cal is tied to the crown, his noble personality taking charge.

Also I love the settings in this book. They stomp out the places we’ve been in the other books by a long shot. Translation: Montfort is beautiful.

Spoiler Section

Why was the book unresolved, you ask?

“So I’m guessing we won,” I (mare) sigh, too surprised to even comprehend what that means. I have no idea what a real victory would even look like.

“Not entirely,” Kilorn rubs a hand over his dirty cheek, smearing grime across the clean parts of him. Idiot, I think kindly. “They managed to limp back out to sea. I think the big shots are negotiating a cease-fire right now.”

IT ENDS WITH A BLOBFISHING CEASE FIRE FROM THE LAKELANDS.

In the ending pages of the book, this unresolvedness just keeps on going with a light air of “We’re safe, but only for a while.”

Another thing that was unresolved was Evangeline and Elane. I mean, there are a few lines at the very end of the book that state that Evangeline is an honored guest of Montfort, but not much else.

Even Maven’s death felt unresolved! In the last few minutes of their battle Maven let Mare kill him. The main thing in the end was how it “wasn’t too late” with Evangeline rebelling against her parents for Elane and Cal putting the crown aside for Mare. Was it too late for Maven? What if he stayed alive?

Maybe this was Victoria Aveyard wanted to portray. Maybe she’ll make another series following Mare and the others a year or so later (maybe even a different crew in the same world— like the Grisha Trilogy and SOC).

I loved the parts with the Lakelander queens, the rickety alliance between Cal’s crew, Montfort and the Scarlet Guard and the little lines hinting at Evangeline and Elane’s relationship. (If you have read the book you know which line I’m talking about.) Montfort provides a free democratic country to compare the corrupt nations of Norta and the Lakelands to, which is another reason why I’m swooning over the bison filled mountains. The bison are great.

Despite how much I liked about War Storm, the novel was one of the shabbiest of the series.

I didn’t like Maven this time around (he just seemed lazy, angry and spoiled) and he didn’t seem like the scheming little guy he used to be. He feels more like time bomb just waiting to blow, or one of those characters who you know dies first in a horror movie.

Another thing I greatly disliked was the vagueness of everything, which I don’t think was problem with Aveyard’s writing as much as it was just stuffing an epic conclusion, or a whole blobfishing WAR into 662 pages.

Lastly, I would like to point out that the book didn’t seem as clever when it came to major plot points. Take Iris’s siege on Bracken’s children for example. The guards were stupid and distracted. Why? How did Montfort survive as a nation with these idiotic guards? Why did Davidson, who is clearly an intelligent person, let these imbeciles guard a prisoner of war?

If I had to rate this book from one to ten , one being absolute scum and ten being a gift from the heavens I would give this book a six.

Translate that into stars and this book is 3.5 stars out of five.

Spring Cleaning Book Tag

Let’s all pretend that this is actually the Summer Cleaning Book Tag because I’m awful at doing tags in a timely fashion and now it’s summer.

I was tagged by the always lovely Sophia Ismaa. Everyone go to her blog and shower her with digital chocolate.


RULES

  • Please link back to Daniel @ Page to Page
  • Respond to the scenarios
  • Tag 5 people (or however many you like)

THE TAG

It’s time to make your bed, but you’re going to have some friends over later and want to pick the perfect book to place on your nightstand for them all to see that you’re “reading”. Which book do you choose?

I choose Six of Crows because I will use every opportunity to shove this book down the throats of every human being I see.

 

Oh no! The house needs dusting, but you just can’t put that book you’re reading down! What book would you buy on audio just so you could continue the story while cleaning?

It probably wouldn’t be fair to pick Six of Crows again… I’ll go with A Conjuring of Light, then. It was unputdownable. Which is definitely a word.

 

Darn it! The ceiling is leaking! Turns out Mass-Market Paperbacks are the best things to soak water up! Which popular book do you use to soak up the water?

Ready Player One because it’s my brother’s book, not mine, and I don’t really care for it either. Undeveloped minor characters, annoying lead, and boring plot is a recipe for a sacrificable book.

 

Bathrooms need a good scrubbing, and your 2007 Cosmos are a little outdated and need replacing. What book do you place in the bathroom for some light reading for when people need to take care of business?

A picture book about potty training.

 

Family is coming over, but you have no idea what to make for dinner! You read somewhere that tearing up the last chapter of a book whose ending you hated and sprinkling it in a casserole dish makes for the perfect meal! Which book do you choose?

The Book ThiefI wish the ending never happened. And if you don’t know what I”m talking about, go read the book right now.

 

Organization is key, right? When it comes time to organize your bookshelf, you realize you have enough room (and money) to get three new books! Which books do you buy?

The Perks of Being a Wallflower, Aristotle and Dante Discover the Secrets of the Universeand The False PrinceThe first two are books I’ve been planning to read for ages, but never got around to, and the third because it’s one of my favorites and I’d love to have my own copy.

 

Finally, some peace and quiet! But, before you can relax, you realize you forgot to send your Aunt a thank you gift for the lovely “ADULT LIFE FOR DUMMIES” book she gave you for Christmas (maybe she’s trying to tell you something?). What book do you send to her to show her how much (this is sarcasm) you appreciate her gift?

You know that picture book about potty training that everyone has been handling while they’re taking care of business? Yeah? That one.


I’m Tagging…

The Wrong Way to Wave

There is only one successful way to wave. You wave at Target Person and Target Person waves back. Your mission is complete. Congratulations.

Unfortunately, there are a lot more ways to fail spectacularly at waving. Fortunately, these failures are often quite amusing (for unattached observers. Definitely not amusing for all parties involved. Mortifying for them).

  1. When you think someone’s waving at you, but they’re actually waving at the person behind you.
    • You were having an awful day (You spilled orange juice all over your jeans, and no matter where you go, people kept asking if you peed your pants), but the cheerful wave from your acquaintance turned your day around. At least someone is happy to see you. You excitedly start to wave back when you notice that your acquaintance is looking at their friend, who is behind you and waving nonchalantly. They also have dry pants. You awkwardly put your hand in your hair like that’s what you meant to do the entire time.
  2. When you think that someone is waving at the person behind you, but they are actually waving at you.
    • You are walking down the hall, deep in thought, when you see an acquaintance of yours in your peripheral vision waving vigorously. As you have low self-esteem, you conclude that no sane person would purposefully wave at you and they must be waving at the person behind you. Having reached this conclusion, you dutifully ignore you acquaintance, allowing the person behind you freely wave without a doubt as to whether they are being waved at. As you continue down the hall, you see your acquaintance’s face fall and they burst into tears. You surreptitiously glance behind you. Did the Target Person not see you acquaintance waving? The hallway is empty. They were waving at you. They are now weeping excessively because of you and now you are weeping excessively because of how guilty you are.
  3. When you wave at someone, but the person behind them waves at you.
    • You are walking down the hall when you see one of your friends. You wave enthusiastically, but they are reading and walking (which is inadvisable) and they don’t see you. A distant acquaintance (you went to kindergarten together, but you haven’t spoken since, although you do acknowledge each other’s existence occasionally), on the other hand, does see you and is waving back at you. Instinctively, you awkwardly wave again, a grimace on your face because of your hand’s betrayal.
  4. When you wave at someone, but they don’t see you.
    • You are walking down the hall when you see one of your friends. You wave enthusiastically, but they are reading and walking (which is inadvisable) and they don’t see you. You awkwardly put your hand in your hair like that’s what you meant to do the entire time.
  5. When you pretend to wave at someone so people don’t think you’re lonely.
    • This one really doesn’t need an explanation.

My Little Brother Applies as a Writer for the Blog

Ahh, summer. Endless days of heat, mosquitos, and boredom. This boredom that comes with summer can inspire otherwise normal people to do crazy, radical things.

Scorpion Weaver, my little brother, has applied for a job at TheWebWeavers. Otherwise known as this blog. I don’t think he completely understands what a resume is supposed to do…

Scorpian's resume

If you can’t read his handwriting, which I assume is most of the human population, I’ll transcribe it here.

Cons for hiring Scorpion Weaver

  • Will blame everything on Arachnid Weaver
  • bad at writing
  • Cannot spell properly
  • smells funny
  • will spin if given the opportunity
  • YUM!!!
  • will eat all of you cookies, WHERE ARE You HIDING THEM, I will find them
  • may lose all of your readers
  • will pelt you with questions
  • will ask you for help (make you write the posts for him)
  • his handwriting is very bad.

Pros for hiring Scorpion Weaver

  • none

He also wrote a poem…

the bird poem.jpg

A page for...long footed birds!

A very bad poem by Scorpion

 

Birds, they are the living

plane of the sky. Birds they

fly, birds they die. Birds cannot

see glass, oh what a sad

sight. Birds they can be

gross. Birds, they eat worms,

eww! Oh Birds I am sad

to see you go, birds

I wish you could stay

longer, but I must hibernate.

Goodbye birds.


Well, what do you think readers? Should we hire Scorpion?


A Note: I’m currently in Bangladesh for a three-week trip and I won’t be back until July 15, 2018, so I won’t be able to reply to your lovely comments until I get back.

Book Reviews!!

Stranger Than Fanfiction by Chris Colfer || 4/5

Cash Carter is the young, world famous lead actor of the hit television Wiz Kids. When four fans jokingly invite him on a cross-country road trip, they are shocked that he actually takes them up on it. Chased by paparazzi and hounded by reporters, this unlikely crew takes off on a journey of a lifetime–but along the way they discover that the star they love has deep secrets he’s been keeping. What they come to learn about the life of the mysterious person they thought they knew will teach them about the power of empathy and the unbreakable bond of true friendship.

•••

Stranger Than Fanfiction is a somewhat light-hearted (but also sad) and really fast read. I liked how the characters interacted with each other. Yay platonic relationships. Cash Carter was my favorite character.

Colfer has an amazing writing style. He uses a ton of humorous similes that are my absolute favorite. The only thing that bugged me about this book was that it sometimes read like an LGBT+ pamphlet, which really broke from the characterization and the flow of the story.


All the Bright Places by Jennifer Niven || 5/5

Theodore Finch is fascinated by death, and he constantly thinks of ways he might kill himself. But each time, something good, no matter how small, stops him.

Violet Markey lives for the future, counting the days until graduation, when she can escape her Indiana town and her aching grief in the wake of her sister’s recent death.

When Finch and Violet meet on the ledge of the bell tower at school, it’s unclear who saves whom. And when they pair up on a project to discover the “natural wonders” of their state, both Finch and Violet make more important discoveries: It’s only with Violet that Finch can be himself—a weird, funny, live-out-loud guy who’s not such a freak after all. And it’s only with Finch that Violet can forget to count away the days and start living them. But as Violet’s world grows, Finch’s begins to shrink.

∴∴∴

So after reading the really sad book that is Stranger Than Fanfiction, I picked up All the Bright Places because I expected it to be happy. I mean, it has the word bright in the title!

Dudes, I was so wrong. Warning: This is a sad book.

I’ve never cried while reading a book. But reading All the Bright Places was the closest I’ve come (tied with A List of Cages).

So if you want a book that tugs on all the heartstrings, I highly recommend this one.

The writing is beautiful, but the part that pulls it all together is the relationship between Finch and Violet.


Glass Sword by Victoria Aveyard || 4/5

If there’s one thing Mare Barrow knows, it’s that she’s different.

Mare Barrow’s blood is red—the color of common folk—but her Silver ability, the power to control lightning, has turned her into a weapon that the royal court tries to control.

The crown calls her an impossibility, a fake, but as she makes her escape from Maven, the prince—the friend—who betrayed her, Mare uncovers something startling: she is not the only one of her kind.

Pursued by Maven, now a vindictive king, Mare sets out to find and recruit other Red-and-Silver fighters to join in the struggle against her oppressors.

But Mare finds herself on a deadly path, at risk of becoming exactly the kind of monster she is trying to defeat.

Will she shatter under the weight of the lives that are the cost of rebellion? Or have treachery and betrayal hardened her forever?

The electrifying next installment in the Red Queen series escalates the struggle between the growing rebel army and the blood-segregated world they’ve always known—and pits Mare against the darkness that has grown in her soul.

♣♣♣

This book was lovely, but not as lovely as the first one. I liked seeing how all the characters changed because of the events of the first book, and it was definitely fast-paced, but it lacks an overarching plot besides “destroy the bad guys”. It doesn’t really match the first book; it’s different, and it could definitely use some comedic relief.

Overall, I enjoyed reading the book, but it wasn’t as good as I remembered it to be from when I read it the first time.


That was a pretty good reading round! Lot’s of great books, but my favorite of the three has to be All the Bright Places.

A Note: I’m currently on a trip to Bangladesh for my cousin’s wedding so I won’t be able to respond to all your lovely comments until I get back on July 15, 2018.

ㅇㅅㅇ

Happy Monday.Today was my first day at art camp… and I met an old friend. Her name is Unicorn and at first I didn’t realize it was her because she was taller, but her face didn’t change a bit. It was like her legs decided to stretch out but her face was too lazy to match a sudden growth spurt. (Translation: Unicorn still looks cute, unlike myself) She told me that her class always calls this new girl a word I made up a long long long time ago in THE BLOBFISHING THIRD GRADE for the word unicorn. WHAT? How did she, let alone the REST OF BLOBFISHING CLASS remember a word I created as a synonym for the word “unicorn”? Was I popular in the third grade? Or was it because the class was super small? Also, I can imagine the new girl being very curious about me. Or at the most kind of freaked out. Like her brainwaves declare, “WHO IS THIS MYSTERIOUS GIRL WHO CREATED THIS NAME FOR ME? IS SHE THE CALLER OF MY TRUE DESTINY? AM I, ONCE A NAMELESS NEW GIRL, ACTUALLY A ‘WUBBA’?”(Yes, “Wubba”- it sounds like a noise a teletubbie would make. I am a proud purple teletubbie.) Well, I’m just going to confirm to the new girl that, yes, you are a wubba and I am your purple messenger of greatness. You can gallop in the universe of third grade wordy words anytime!

Mystery Blogger Award

I was tagged for this by the amazing Sophia Ismaa Writes a long time ago. Gah, I’m awful at doing tags in a timely manner.


What is the Mystery Blogger Award?

This award was created by Okoto Enigma to celebrate blogs which captivate, inspire and motivate and their respective bloggers who do it with love, passion, and fun.

(That was copy-and-pasted from Sophia’s blog.)


THE RULES

  • Put the award/logo image on your blog
  • List the rules
  • Thank whoever nominated you and provide a link to their blog
  • Mention the creator of the award and provide a link as well
  • Tell your readers 3 things about yourself and answer the questions provided by your nominator
  • Nominate 10-20 people for the award
  • Notify your nominees by commenting on their blog
  • Ask your nominees any 5 questions of your choice, with one weird or funny question (specify)
  • Share a link to your best post(s)

Okay, dudes, I’m pressed for time because I’m writing this the day before I’m leaving for a three-week trip and I have not started packing. So I won’t be following all the rules. Sorry.


3 Things About Me

  1. I’m sleepy. That is a personality trait. Like I am the human version of Sleepy from Snow White and the Seven Dwarves.
  2. I listen to My Chemical Romance’s album The Black Parade more than seven times a week.
  3. I love cacti.

The Questions

  1. What is the last book you read that made an impact on you?
    1. The Pact by Jodi Picoult, but I can’t tell you how or why because spoilers.
  2. What is the strangest thing you have ever eaten? (Weird)
    1. I’m a really picky eater, so I don’t make a habit of eating strange foods. I recently tried Cole Slaw, which I think is really weird.
  3. Name two things about blogging you love and two things that irritate you.
    1. Love: I love making friends in the blogosphere and having in-depth conversations about books.
    2. Irritate: It’s time-consuming (I’m in the process of writing five-ish posts in a row and it’s hard) and WordPress is glitchy sometimes.
  4. Take Buzzfeed’s: Everyone Has a British Food That Matches Their Personality Quiz and post your results, food, and description included!jam roll
  5. Recommend a book in one paragraph (3 sentences max)!
    1. Read Six of Crows. You will love it. Thank me later.

The Best Posts


A Note: I’m currently on a three-week trip to Bangladesh and I won’t be back until July 15, 2018, so I won’t be able to respond to your comments.

Untitled Part 1

I stir the tea with a red lollipop,watching the brown swirl into a soft velvet. Clink! The “pop” part of the snack fizzes into a flurry of small, soapy pink bubbles as I hit it against the inside of the ceramic cup. With a playful smirk, I carefully lift up the white stick remaining, noting it’s end, burnt in a hue of electric purple.

I call, “Olth? Are you responsible for this sorcery?” My smile twitches, in a state between proud and furious.

Olth skips down the curved stairway, her black sneakers blending with the dark carpeting of the steps. A grin cuts through her oddly geometric face, teeth sharp and pointed. She nods, “Yes. I am. I was hoping you would drink it, first.”

“I’m not that gullible,” I say, my lips in a mock pout.

“You were about to…Allete, I mean, just look at your lollipop!” She snickers, her tall shadow towering over me. Even if she was a bit bigger, I was older and the more responsible one. She giggled a bit, her nonsensical joking followed by a cute sneeze. It reminded me of her young years.

“Wait. You just sneezed…” I stutter, my panicked side kicking in, “Where is the teapot?”

Olth’s yellow, somewhat reptilian eyes dart to the maple wood table, now empty with the exception of the poisonous drink. Her sharp teeth curve into a frown, skin paling from a purple-grey to a lighter shade. She seems to shrink.

“You teleported it, didn’t you?” I grit my teeth, clenching my fist.

“Yep,” she mumbles. Even her words seem small.

“Where to?” I ask, releasing my anger into a somewhat petty guise, stroking her hair like a dog’s fur, hoping desperately that Olth would impress me again and actually know to where she teleported the item.

“I don’t know,” She whispers, microscopically.

“You are such a chore,” I whine, whipping out my broomstick and witch’s hat. I put the hat on, muffling my messy chocolate brown hair. Olth was always jealous of it (she only has unidentifiable white noodles after all) so I pull some out of my cap, clearly agitated.

Sinking in guilt, the tall reptilian girl sulks towards the circular gold framed window, unlatching it to let in the cool May air.

Olth and I board my broom, with me in the front, ready for lift off. A puff of wind elevates us into the sky, blue and dotted with white puffy clouds.

“What’s wrong?” I question, gazing at Olth’s expression, as sad as melting ice cream. She whimpers. I can’t stay mad at her, so I tuck my hair back in my hat and say, “It’s alright. We’ll get the teapot before anyone drink out of it. Focus on searching, okay?”

Olth gives me a foxy smile, getting to work, her jet black pupils becoming slits in concentration. With her, I scan the town, glancing between the clotheslines, the brown brick buildings and the slinking smoke-stack trains. The breeze plays with my hat, threatening to to let it drop to the ground. I fight the urge to fix it, maintaining two hands on my broom stick, flying responsibly.

“I don’t think the teapot is up here,” Olth tells me, tapping my shoulder.

“Oh!” I waggle my eyebrows, “Do you want to dip down? For losing a teapot?”

“Am I that predictable?” Olth giggles as I ascend upwards above a cake white layer of fluff. Tiny dew drops sprinkle our faces as our broomstick pokes a hole in the cloudscape. My bestie yells in exhilaration; the sound of an adorable mix of a snake’s tongue and a kitty’s growl.

“Are you ready?” I declare.

“Y—”

I dip down before she can finish, the wind tearing at our faces, stomachs dropping as we went hurdling towards the ground. The broom fans out, losing a few yellow hairs. With a rush, our vehicle turns from vertical to horizontal, our legs only two inches from the brick.

“Woohoo!” I pump my fist up, energized and swiftly turn my broom towards the building, going up and down between colorfully decorated clotheslines. I howl in laughter at Olth, watching her battle a woman’s undergarment, trying to claw it off her face, “Fllll-y a bbit slewor!” she screams.

I fly a bit faster, just for kicks and giggles. “That’s what you get for losing the teapot,” I say, my voice hanging off the edge of “pot” as if asking a question.

“Tek thiz off mi faece firrst!” She demands. I stop the broom, tossing the undergarment away with ease.

“Better?” I ask.

She nods.

I look both ways, although there is no broom traffic today and in the midst of honking cars, I see a curious looking man sitting on a mini-fridge, moving the dinosaur magnets on the front as if they were puppets in a play. He opens the fridge, taking out a can of cola and for a split second I spot…

“THE TEAPOT!” Olth yells, shaking my shoulders, “The man! The mini-fridge!”

I take off, swooping under a billboard sign before landing on the sidewalk. We run over to the man, but as we do he stands up and picks up the fridge.

“No! That teapot is ours!” I yell.

He takes a long, hard look at us, his eyes squinting into nonexistence. Slowly, he bends down.

“Thank you!”Olth cheers, giving out a toothy grin.

And he gives the fridge to a little child on a red bicycle.

Olth and I exchange “what the blobfish” glances before jumping on the broom and racing after the pint sized kid. He cycles through a bustling road of traffic, the wheels on his tyke moving much faster than they should be.

Cars all around him stop and honk; some even crash into each other in a desperate flee to avoid the little devil. Our broom zig zags behind him, my partner in crime grabbing for the fridge and failing to do so on every account. She finally latches onto kid’s bicycle handle, attempting to squirm her way to fridge without falling off. Her hand brushes the side of the fridge, her hand glowing purple. She starts to say something under her breath but before she can, the boy accelerates, pulling Olth’s white noodly hair.

“OUch!” she screeches, in full on hyena type sense, “Stop that, kid! That teapot is ours!” She grabs onto the very edge of the mini fridge, body over extending between the broomstick and the bike. I take siege of her hips, as the child pedals frantically, dragging us behind him. In the end, the kid sends us tumbling down, Olth breaking my fall and I breaking my broom’s fall.

“Hey,” The little man’s voice is much deeper than expected, “What are you doing here? Why does a witch and a stupid animal want this prized petite fridge for, huh?”

Olth growls.

“We want the teapot inside…please,” I tremble as he walks up to me.

“Ha!” The kid lights up a cigarette, “You’re a such a peculiar witch. Most witches I know don’t even have sense of humor.”

“What witches do you know, you stupid kid?” Olth roars, covering me in an instant.

“Many,” He responds with cool, calm composure, “But, I certainly don’t know any of your kind. You are interesting.”

“So… can you at least check the fridge for a teapot?” I ask, my voice tiny against the verbal fighting.

“Only in exchange for your creature,” He bargains.

“She’s not a creature,” I declare firmly.

“You didn’t let me finish, you snob,” He states, “I was going to say ‘Only in exchange for creature and for you to come to the market with me!'”

“Why would you want that?” I shoot a question at him.

“Because you two are entertaining and we need entertainers for the auction tonight. The idiotic poor men always get bored and cranky.” And he deflects it, swiftly.