The Floppiest of Birthday Flops

And so begins the prescheduled posts while I’m in Bangladesh.

This post is a bit different from my usual ones because I’m going to be talking about my real life outside of the blogosphere. Yep, that’s right. I am a real person who isn’t actually a robot inside your computer writing witty posts.

So, as you may know, my birthday was on June 5th. Birthdays are interesting things. Days to celebrate a person’s existence and their aging into a raisin, which is a true accomplishment that most people hope for someday, only to eventually die.

My last two birthdays have been flops as well, so I was hoping for this one to be absolutely amazing. Two years ago, we were in the process of moving from Michigan to Kentucky, so my birthday was somewhat forgotten and I didn’t have a celebration nor party. Last year, my actual birthday happened to fall on the first day of finals, so the actual day was lost in a slew of studying. I did have a party, but it doubled as a going away party because I was moving from one city in Michigan to another city in Michigan the next week, so it wasn’t the happiest of occasions.

I was psyched for this year. (Except for the fact that birthdays force one to confront their own mortality.)

It was floppy. Both my actual birthday and the party.

I feel like I’m being kinda whiney. The intention is for it to be humorous. *Flings humor at you*

A Random Pun From The Internet: What do you call a thieving alligator?… A CROOKODILE. *Ba dum crash* *Crickets*

So as I’m writing this, it’s 6/18/2018, which is also the day after father’s day, which is also the day after my birthday party. I invited about fifteen people. Many of them couldn’t come because of father’s day or other random things they had to do. A couple of people canceled the day before my party.

So overall, we had me, my brother, and Spinette. And we had THREE GUESTS.

And we had three pitchers of drinks.

Ten chairs.

A relatively large cake.

Three pizzas.

And six people, three of whom were me, my brother, and Spinette (people who are obligated to come).

*Crickets*

At one point, one of them asked when everyone else was going to get there.

My response: *Crickets*

We had fun. It was just kinda…awkward.

Am I allowed to have a redo?

(Also, Spinette got me My Chemical Romance and Twenty One Pilots t-shirts along with a new cactus! I don’t currently have a picture of the new cactus because Spinette is cactus-sitting them while I’m in Bangladesh.)

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A Story – The Legend of Jai

Who...Am I?

Hello! So just yesterday, (May 18th)  I started writing a story and posting it on Wattpad. My writing isn’t too great, and the story probably won’t be too amazing either since I’m kind of writing it as I go, but I would love it if you gave it a try if you’ve got time. I’ll post the summary and prologue here, so you know what it’ll be about. It’s currently called “The Legend of Jai”, and it’s basically the legend of some guy I made up in my mind. The link is here. (I realized I didn’t post the link the first time I published the post XD I’m so absent-minded).

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Mini Book Reviews!

Hello peoples! Due to finals and other life happenings, I haven’t had time to review books, but I have read quite a few books over the last few weeks. Be prepared to be pummeled with book reviews.


Ready Player One || 3/5

I feel like this book was good, it just wasn’t for me, personally.

One of the main assets of this book is all the references to ’80’s pop culture. But as I’m not particularly well-versed in ’80’s pop culture, I found them somewhat annoying whereas others could love a book that alludes to their favorite TV show as a kid.

This book took me over two weeks to finish. I think more than anything, I found it bland. I liked the plot, but it wasn’t an amazing plot. It was an average plot. The writing was also decent, but not spectacular. Average.

I didn’t like the characters in this book, especially the main character, Wade. He got on my nerves. The minor characters should’ve been developed more. The reader didn’t really get to know them, so I wasn’t attached to them at all and I wasn’t invested in what happened to them.

The plot was also overly convenient.

Let’s move on. I’m even getting bored writing this review.


Will Grayson, Will Grayson || 3/5

I usually love John Green’s books, but that’s because he is the King of Metaphor. This book, unfortunately, didn’t contain many metaphors, and when you strip John Green of his metaphors, there sadly isn’t much left.

This book, like so many of his other works, lacked a concrete and thrilling plot. Things kept happening without an overall idea holding all the different miniature ideas together.

The characters were (fortunately) developed, but they still felt bland.

I really liked the writing style, though. Especially David Leviathan’s portion of the book.


This Mortal Coil || 3.5/5

Compared to Ready Player OneThis Mortal Coil is what a science fiction should be like.

I loved the idea for this book and the apocalypse-ness of it. The characters were lovely (except for one) and they were developed (ish).

This was an addicting read that I finished in two days full of twists and turns and the writing was beautiful.

I love the concept of the Hydra vaccine and the genetic-coding aspect of it was amazing.

There was a love triangle in this book.

Also, I got a chance to talk to this author (with a medium-sized group of people) over Skype, which was absolutely lovely.

 

*Warning. Mild Spoilers Below*

Usually, love triangles don’t bother me, but this one did. Probably because I didn’t like either of the love interests. Especially Cole. Cole was not his own person with his own hopes and dreams (aside from being an artist, which was briefly touched on). It’s like his whole reason for existence revolves around being the love interest for Cat.

*End Spoilers*

 

Speaking of which, why does there always have to be some undercurrent of romance in YA books? I’m not talking about love stories where romance is the point, but high fantasy, dystopian, sci-fi, and other books where survival is the main point, not love.

I dare you to think of a book where there is absolutely NO romance.


The Hate U Give || 3.5/5

So. This book.

It was amazing in that it covers an important, heavy topic and it makes you think about society and equality in a different way.

But, for me, it wasn’t as gripping as I expected it to be. The characters were lovely, but the plot was somewhat slow.

I highly recommend this book. It just falls outside of my tastes. See review for Ready Player One above.


A Court of Frost and Starlight || 3/5

This book was fluffy and light, but kind of boring. It was nice to see the characters be able to relax after the harrowing events of the last three books. But. Usually, I like it when my characters suffer (sorry). It makes for a more interesting read.

From the description, I expected there to be a lot of character development, which I was excited to read, but I was disappointed. It didn’t really talk about how the events of the past books affected the characters. Most of the book was gift-shopping.

A lovely book for Christmas-time, I guess?

It was meh overall.


Okay, that’s it for today’s segment of Harsh Book Reviews.

The Weaver Family Has Grown! (And Another Announcement)

Heyo peeps! Finals are finally over. And I didn’t suck!

It’s been a while. I hope you guys liked all those reblogs. There are still a couple left to go through.

But! Exciting news! We got more pets!

 

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My amazing friend got me cacti for my birthday!

The one on the left is Captain Cactus and the one on the right is Sentinel Succulent. And Spinette had an absolutely BRILLIANT idea.

Introducing… The Cactus Army!

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Okay… Now to the other announcement.

I know you guys JUST got me back, but I have to leave again on June 20th. We’re going to Bangladesh! *Half-hearted cheer* We’ll be back on July 15th.

In the meantime, Spinette will keep you company and I’ll have some posts scheduled ahead, but I won’t be able to reply to all your lovely comments. (Because there won’t be WiFi, as far as I’m aware.)

Hay Happenings #5

Book Jotter

Monday 28th May

Fifth day at Hay

Fiona Sampson: In Search of Mary Shelley: The Girl Who Wrote Frankenstein

Tata Tent

Fiona Sampson Sign Someone can’t spell!

Fiona Sampson Fiona reads from her excellent Mary Shelley biography.

Margaret Atwood: The Handmaid’s Tale

Tata Tent

MA Sign The Margaret Atwood event was sold out. Tickets were like ‘gold dust’!

Handmaid sign The Handmaids gather in readiness for Margaret’s event

MA1 The audience cheered loudly when Margaret walked on stage.

MA PF Peter Florence discusses The Handmaid’s Tale with Margaret Atwood

MA2 Margaret took questions from the audience.

Random Sights at Hay

The Book Read There are all sorts of odd events taking place in the town!

Typewriter Spotted this wonderful old typewriter in a shop window.

Books from Wales The Welsh literature shelves in the Hay Festival Bookshop.

Screen Waiting for authors!


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Gallery

‘A Garden of Lilies’ Tales from Judith Rossell

Thoughts Become Words

IMG_20180409_162238 Page 39 “Peregrine was a disobedient child…”

With a knowing smile, this Victorian-style book of manners is reminiscent of the period of parenting when misbehaving children were given orders and told dire consequences would ensue if they did not obey.  Despite warnings, when a child in this book ignores an instruction, there is an aftermath of great magnitude.

IMG_20180410_133833 Page 28 “Jesephany and Keziah were unruly and wild…”

In “A Garden of Lilies: Improving Tales for Young Minds – by Prudence A Goodchild” children’s author and illustrator Judith Rossell has produced an atmospherically illustrated and tightly written volume.  She has also mastered the art of a left-right jab, hitting with swift endings which leave the reader breathless.

Each punchy short story closes with a judicious moral.  For example, Isadora daydreamed too much during her chores.  One day she daydreamed while idly brushing her hair.  Let’s just say she didn’t get to…

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WRITING REVIEWS isn’t easy and we all know it!

Books & Munches

DiscussionDo you have trouble writing reviews? Are the meh-ones the hardest? Or maybe the bad ones? Are you doubting the way you write reviews? Maybe you sometimes forget characters’ names or certain events / topics you wanted to mention? Or, better yet, you simply forget to review a certain book until way too late?

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It’s My Birthday!

Dudes! It’s my birthday! Which simultaneously amazing and terrifying. Amazing because the entire day is dedicated to celebrating my existence and terrifying because I’m old now. I am turning into a raisin!

Scorpian (my little brother) outdid himself. He got me nine enamel cactus pins and this morning he slid this adorable note under my door. And, gah. He’s just amazing. *Radiating sibling love*

 

They’ve also left me alone and I have a headache and I’m talking to Siri…

Why representation never mattered to me.

theguywiththebook

Hold on tight to your phones. And hear me out.

I need to add a disclaimer that this is my personal experience and I am not advocating against representation of race or nationality in books.

I read Danny the champion of the world late last year which is my favorite book from childhood. I related to the relationship between Danny and his father. Not that we went out on poaching trips or that our life situation was in any way near that of Danny’s. What made me relate to Danny so much was the relationship with his father. How his father cared for Danny and how Danny always looked up to his father. It was this relationship dynamic that made me realize as a kid how much my father meant to me. It wasn’t the color of Danny’s (or my) skin that connected us, it was the emotion.

More recently…

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You Float Away

Sophia Ismaa Writes

They smile, they love
Oh, stars above
They really do love
Forever forlorn
You heart is torn

In a room full of strangers
A fresh chapter, you hope
Words mumbling and stumbling
One mistake and you’re crumbling

An alleyway, a home
Since the exit from the womb
Safe is a word we no longer know
Trust is a memory of long ago

A child sits by herself
Walls created to shield
But the words are still slinging
While the teacher pretends
That they hear nothing

Your beloved floats away
To a better world
And your world
Becomes a bitter blur
You wish all the while
That you could have gone too
Than stay in a land where comfort is few

He loves you not
Though he promised he did
He loved your glory in the sun
Your joy in the rainbow
But your rain was too much
A hailstorm of…

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Greta Thinks She’s A Labrador Retriever

I need a Greta. (I’ve finally repotted Sergeant Spike!)

Remember when you were first in love and the idea of taking a shower together seemed like such a romantic thing to do? That is until you realized that only one person could get under the shower head at a time. Plus, there really wasn’t enough room and soapy elbows polked soapy “insert your favorite […]

via Greta Thinks She’s A Labrador Retriever — Everyone Else Has the Best Titles

Stop Interrupting The Reader

The Ultimate Reader Problem. My brother does this and annoys me to no end. I’ll tell him, “I’m reading now” and he’ll consistently respond with “Okay” and then he’ll just keep talking and talking and talking.

Morgana´s Book Box

Being interrupted while reading – There´s nothing more aggravating.

I actually hate when someone interrupts me in my moment of peace, solitude, escape.

Not only do I read because I like to read, I also read because reading takes me away from the one thing I want to get away from: Stress or life in general.

The feeling of diving into a new world and being able to envision a life I wish existed is something magical. When I´m into a story I´m truly invested. When someone comes and does the unthinkable…. I, then, also want to do the unthinkable.

But I don´t. All I do is throw nasty glares or annoyed faces or raise an eyebrow. Nothing helps, though. Some people can´t take a hint. Or, they don´t want to.

throughout the years I´ve come up with different strategies on how to avoid being ripped away from my reading session…

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FINALS!!! (And We’re Reblogging!)

Heyo, peeps!

Due to the impending doom that is finals, our blogging might be a bit more erratic.

So while Spinette and I are gone and doing much less interesting activities, we’re going to turn to reblogging for postings.

During midterms, we reblogged our own older posts, but this time we’re going to reblog posts from other peoples in the blogosphere!

Doesn’t that sound exciting?

So do you want your blog post reblogged on TheWebWeavers? It’s simple, just leave a link in the comments, and bam, new readers! But there’s one condition. (Sorry. I know everyone hates that word.) You have to leave a link to your favorite post from someone else’s blog as well.

Solving all Your Stupid Problems

I’m sure all of these problems have graced you, dear reader. You wouldn’t believe it, but they’re quite common, really. You’re just sitting there thinking that all your problems are unique because you are a unique and special human bean with your own unique and special set of problems. But nope. Everyone else deals with them, too. You are completely generic. But they won’t anymore, because I’m about to solve all your stupid problems!

Lettuce, begin the drumroll!


You get gum stuck in your hair, but there are no worries. As good ole grandma used to say, “Peanut butter will get gum out of your hair, your pet’s hair, your cactus’s wig. And then you won’t have to become prematurely bald!”

But Grandma never considered what happens after you get the gum out of your hair. What happens when the peanut butter gets stuck?!

The answer is simple.

Become prematurely bald.

Go outside and grab a squirrel. Make sure it doesn’t have rabies! (Rabies are bad, in case you didn’t know.) If squirrels aren’t available, other small, peanut-butter-loving animals are good substitutes.

Set the squirrel in your hair and watch it work its magic.

You are a lover of pickles. (These kinds of people are strange. Dear readers, I know that you are not pickle-lovers, because I like you, so a word of advice from author to reader: Don’t associate with pickle-lovers.) You are such an enthusiast of pickles, that you decide to use your life savings to buy a ticket to Pickle World, the pickle-themed amusement park in L.A. (L.A. is also strange. Do not associate with people from L.A. I mean, those L.A.-ians decided to build a pickle-themed amusement park. Couldn’t they have at least gone with cucumbers?)

At Pickle World, they have giant jars full of giant mutant pickles. Trust me, pickle-lovers love giant pickles and will willingly swim with them, despite the fact that the vinegar will make their skin all pruney and will make them smell awful for weeks.

But sometimes, accidents happen.

Sometimes, people get stuck inside pickles. (Don’t ask me what they were doing. I told you, pickle-lovers are insane.)

But there is an easy solution to this, excuse me for the pun, pickle, as well. But I’m sure you readers won’t need it, since you are not of the pickle-loving breed.

Simply ask a trusted acquaintance to pull you and the pickle out of the jar. You will see that in minutes, no seconds, the pickle will be devoured by ravenous pickle-lovers and you will remain magically unscathed. Pickle-lovers are insane, but they’re not cannibals.


I hoped that I have solved some of your (many) problems. And don’t worry if you have problems that haven’t been addressed in this short post. There will be more parts.

Caring for Your Unicorn Master

TheWebWeavers is actually our second blog. Both Spinette and I had our own individual “first blogs” that didn’t really work. They were both unicorn-based. (This was not planned. We just both love unicorns). My blog, Unicornia, was a guide for the measly human attempting to move to Unicornia. Spinette’s blog, Unicorn Sightings, was about all things unicorn. Unicornia had three followers (two of which were Spinette and me) and Unicorn Sightings had seven (two of which were Spinette and me).

Both of these blogs still exist on the internet, but they haven’t been active for ages. I think the reason that they didn’t work was that the topics were too restrictive and it wasn’t interesting to write on over and over again. TheWebWeavers is a lot more fun because we can write about whatever we want.

However, despite being inactive, the posts on the blogs are still somewhat funny (especially Spinette’s) so they will be reshared on TheWebWeavers for everyone to read and judge. You can also determine how much we’ve improved. 😉

Here’s the second segment of the Unicornia Series, Caring for Your Unicorn Master. It was originally published on November 19, 2016.

 

Growing your unicorn is not the end of the long and tedious process of entering Unicornia. You must also care for your unicorn so they will accept you as their life-long faithful servant and follower.

When you have warmed the Magical Kernel with the bottled purple dragon breath, it will pop into a baby unicorn, similar to the way Ordinary Kernels pop into the delicious treat known as “popcorn”.

Since unicorns are the perfect creatures, they expect their servants to be perfect too. Unicorns live on a diet of chocolate, candy, and fruit. You must feed your Unicorn Master four meals a day. They normally eat about five pounds of food a meal. You must use chocolate, candy, and fruit to make creative meals every day. Unicorns are picky eaters and if you want them to accept you, you must give them good food to eat (organic, nutritious, sustainably-sourced, low calorie, etc.). Something you never want is a hungry unicorn. They will eat anything and everything. Including you.

Unicorns don’t sleep very well on Earth, so be prepared to wake up in the middle of the night (Unicorns’ sleeping patterns are similar to that of a fidgety newborn baby). Give your Unicorn Master a spacious bedroom with a lakeside view. Always tell them a bedtime story. They love stories in which unicorns are the heroes.

Even though Unicorns don’t wear clothes, they like to have a full closet. Buy your Unicorn Master lots of colorful clothing they can hang up and organize.

Every unicorn is different and they have different preferences. Get to know your Unicorn Master and eat, sleep, and breathe their likes and dislikes so you know how to care for your Unicorn Master.

Caring for your Unicorn Master is a difficult task. They expect you to be perfect at all times. There is never time for rest. If your unicorn likes and accepts you, once they get older, they will take you with them to Unicornia. In Unicornia, they will build a beautiful house for themselves and permit you to live in the stables.

A Stream of Thoughts: Keys

Welcome to another edition of A Stream of Thoughts! In A Stream of Thoughts, a random word generator picks a word for me and I ramble about it. Sounds fun, doesn’t it?

But first, life update/warning. We’re at that time of year again! FINALS! *Jazz hands*

I hate finals more than anything else in the world. They are the bane of human existence. *Spews hatred* But because of them, we might probably will be less active on ze blog.

Today’s magic word is…

KEY

There are many types of keys. You have the physical keys that can open an assortment of things, including doors, cars, lockers, safes, treasure chests, bank vaults…

I’m terrified that I’m going to lose my keys and be stuck outside for hours and hours in the rain. But isn’t everyone?

There are also the keys on maps. Also known as “legends”. In my opinion, these are the most boring of all the keys. Why would you look at a key on a map when you could instead look at the pretty map? (Ignore the fact that keys are often necessary to understand a map.) Speaking of which, does anyone know why a key is also called a legend? I get key (because it’s the key to understanding the map), but why legend? I could probably Google it. But eh.

And then there’s the most interesting type of key, the figurative key. The key to their heart (not a literal key unless your crush is a robot), the key to knowledge, etc. There are so many figurative keys. What if they were literal keys, though? What if the key to love was finding a literal key, or the key to becoming the smartest person in the universe was finding a real key? And what if you could take these keys to Walmart and make copies?

I’m hungry.

Going back to my fear of losing my keys and being locked out of the house. Why don’t all houses just have retina scanners on them? I’m not going to lose my eyeball at school. Although I might lose my fingerprint, which is why they don’t use fingerprint scanners.


Bye.

The Cliche Book Tag

Thanks so much to Sophia Ismaa Writes for tagging me! She’s just started a new tag called “5 Things I Like About Myself” where you list five things that you like about yourself. I think it’s just so nice and so positive. I’m going to do this tag soon and I want to spread the love so if you want to be tagged, please comment with a link to your blog on this post.


Actions Speak Louder Than Words.

A Book That Wasn’t Or Couldn’t Be Better Than The Movie.

I rarely ever watch the movie after reading the book. The only one I can think of is Giver, but I equally despised the book and movie.

So… pass?


The Grass Is Always Greener On The Other Side.

A Rags To Riches Or Riches To Rags Story.

the false prince

The False Prince

I can’t really talk about why this fits into the category without giving away spoilers, but this is one of my favorite books. I love the characters. Everyone, go read it.


The Apple Does Not Fall Far From The Tree.

A Parent-Child Relationship That You Love

to kill a mockingbird

To Kill a Mockingbird

Scout and Atticus’s relationship is adorable. I read mostly fantasy, and a lot of those have absent parents, so this was a harder category to choose for.

I could’ve gone with Keeper of the Lost Cities, too, but I felt that the category would be more appreciated if I picked a book you guys have (probably) heard about.


You Can’t Judge A Book By Its Cover

A Great Book That Needs A Better Cover

the pact

The Pact

I’m currently reading this book, and it’s been lovely so far. But seriously, that cover sucks. Just ugh. Look at the color scheme! They do have a different version with a much better cover, so I’m glad they figured out that this one kinda sucks.


You Can’t Please Everyone

A Book You Hate That Everyone Loves

ready player one

Ready Player One

I could’ve gone with Giver, but I also despise Ready Player One. *Shrugs*

Reasons I despise Ready Player One

  • The characters weren’t developed
  • The characters weren’t interesting
  • The main character was insufferable
  • The plot was bland
  • I didn’t get most of the references and it was written like it expected me to
  • The plot
  • Ugh
  • I don’t even like the concept
  • It should’ve gone into more detail about the apocalypse. The beginning where it was described is probably my favorite part.
  • The ending was too neat
  • The characters
  • It wasn’t thrilling
  • I didn’t like the writing style. It was tell, not show. It didn’t go into much depth with the descriptions and it was hard to imagine things properly.

Moving on.


What Doesn’t Kill You Makes You Stronger.

What’s A Book That Made You A Better Person For Having Read It.

Let’s make a list!


Love is Blind.

A Book With A Disabled Main Character Or Actual Blind Love

turtles all the way down

Turtles All the Way Down

The main character, Aza, has severe OCD.

It’s a lovely book. I highly recommend it.


Ignorance Is Bliss.

A Book That Is Bad But You Just Don’t Want To Admit It.

king's cage

King’s Cage

This series is so close to me as it was my introduction to the wonderful world of YA. I love Red Queen and it was one of my favorite books, but the series quickly went downhill and it definitely has a lot of flaws. But I’m going to pretend it’s good.

Also, War Storm just came out yesterday! Squeeeee. I apologize for my squealing. Sadly, I won’t be able to read it until June, or maybe even July. *Sobs*


There Is No Time Like The Present.

What Is Your Favorite Contemporary Book?

a list of cages.jpg

A List of Cages

Go read it.


Better Safe Than Sorry.

A Book You Don’t Want To Read In Case It’s Bad.

go set a watchman

Go Set a Watchman

The Early Death of Our Advice Column (And How to Resurrect It)

Hello peeps! It is a sad occasion.

Unfortunately, our advice column, Ask TheWebWeavers, has died before it could grow up. There have been no questions to feed it and it has shriveled up.

Luckily, the corpse is still warm and it can be brought back with a little CPR and some questions.

Will you, dear reader, help save its life?

It only asks for questions. And the questions can be about absolutely anything. The world of curiosity and troubling problems is at your fingertips.

Do you have any questions that need answering? Send them to us through our contact page or in the comments and all your problems will be solved.

Ask TheWebWeavers #1 || The Spider Squisher

Ask The Webweavers #2: Stuck Up Peeps

Ask TheWebWeavers #3 || The Chewer

Happy Mother’s Day

 

Happy Mother’s Day everyone!

I hope you’re all spending your days with your mothers and you made her lovely presents and some popcorn. Or not.

This song, Mama by My Chemical Romance, is my favorite song. And The Black Parade is my latest obsession. I’ve listened to it about seven times. *Sheepish grin*

Click here if the video doesn’t play.