The Sunshine Blogger Award

Greetings, people of the universe! I should probably be finishing my summer homework… but here we are.

I was nominated by the unique and awesomazing (which is totally a word) Have You Ever Noticed? You nonexistent guys should check out this hilarious blog that points out all the things you’ve never noticed about your life.


RULES

  1. First of all, thank the blogger who has nominated you and link to their blog in your post.
  2. Answer the 11 questions asked by the blogger.
  3. Nominate 11 more blogs, who you think should be given this award.
  4. List the rules and the logo of the award on your post or in your blog.

THE QUESTIONS

  1. What is one dish you like to cook?I have no idea how to cook. I can make cereal, toast, and pb&j. Of those measly three, cereal is my favorite. (FROSTED MINI WHEATS. GIVE ME.)
  2.  How would you describe your favorite pair of shoes?Suede, tan-colored combat boots with faded soles that haven’t fallen apart yet.
  3. What is the best thing that you did last week?I walked through a forest. (But this “forest” was next to a highway, so the illusion was kinda broken by the sound of the cars honking and rushing around.) It was a ton a fun and it smelled really good.
  4. If you could have lunch with one author (living or dead) who would it be and why?Leigh Bardugo because she created Six of Crows.
  5.  What kind of snack do you like to add to your ice cream?Whipped cream. Whipped cream is basically warm ice cream. My favorite ice cream flavor is mint chocolate chip.
    • Also, whipped cream is totally a snack.
  6.  If you could return to any decade and visit a movie set, which would you like to see and why?Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them. It’s my favorite movie and I’d love to see the magic in real life.
    • Harry Potter because Hogwarts.
    • I just finished watching Les Miserables yesterday and I loved it, so I’d like to see that set as well.
  7. What is a song that makes you smile?Mama by My Chemical Romance.
    • “Mama, we’re all going to die.” The lyrics just make me happy.
  8. What advice would you give to your younger self?Try cotton candy. I swear you’ll love it.
  9. What is one food you just can’t eat?Mayonaise.
      • Story time!
      • One time, my cousin went to a restaurant with her coworkers and she had pasta with alfredo. She adored it, so she wanted to recreate it for us. Except there was one mixup. She thought that the alfredo was mayonaise. I was skeptical because I HATED mayonaise, but her excitement was contagious, so we couldn’t wait for the weekend when she would make us this delicious pasta. She went out and purchased the igredients and made dinner for the entire family that weekend and she was so proud.
      • But the pasta was heaped with mayonaise and I gagged at the first bite. My dad made me finish the entire bowl.
  10. If you can earn a gold medal in any sport, what would it be and why?I seriously doubt that I’d ever get an aluminum medal in a sport, let alone a gold one. I’m very unathletic. So, my sport is waffle consumption.
  11. What is something you wish you could add to your blog and why?Animations! I don’t have the time or equipment to do them, but I think animations would go wonderfully with a lot of our posts.
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Short People Problems

Clocking in at 5’2″, I’m generally regarded as a short person. I’m shorter than most people, so I have to look up when I’m talking to them (but I usually just end up talking to their chins) and I have trouble reading menus or watching plays over people’s heads. You know, the usual slew of short-people problems. (Not that tall people don’t have problems, too.)

In elementary school, whenever we had assemblies, the fifth graders would sit on chairs in the back and everyone else would sit in neat rows on the floor in front of them in descending order of grade with the kindergarteners in the front row. In theory, this is a good idea because older people are taller, right? So, hypothetically, if the older kids sit in the back, they’ll be able to see over everyone else’s heads because everyone else is younger. For me, at least, this didn’t really work out. After kindergarten, I was always seated behind taller, but younger, students, so I never got to see anything. (Another flaw in this plan: those freakishly tall kindergarteners that make me jealous of their height.)

Being short my entire life, I’d come to accept that this is the way it will be forever, no matter how much I hope and wish and stretch and dream.

Until I went to Bangladesh.

It turns out that Bangladeshi people just happen to generally be even shorter than me, and for the first time in my life, I got to experience being tall. I got to look over people’s heads, I got to look straight at (or down at) people when I was talking at them. I got a taste of being tall, all 5’2″ of me.

And I never wanted to go back (to being short). But I’m back in America, the land of tall people, and here we are again, short.

But this isn’t the shortest I’ve ever felt. When I lived in Kentucky, the general population seemed to be significantly taller than the general population of Michigan. When I walked through the hallways, I was stuck staring at people’s shoulder blades instead of the backs of their heads. I had trouble finding my classes because I couldn’t see anything except humans. Whenever I talked to sixth graders, they were always shocked that I was in the eighth grade. Every single one asked me twice to double check and when I assured them that, yes, I am, in fact, an eighth grader, they always responded with a “but you’re so short!” In Michigan, while I am on the shorter side of average, my grade is never questioned.

Warning: This following segment will feel contradictory to the rest of the post.

While I’ve always felt short, I’ve never felt extremely short. As I said, I’m on the shorter side of average.

Mare Barrow from Red Queen, as I recently learned, is a fellow 5’2″.

Mare Barrow, as it states over and over over the course of the four-book series, is extremely short. She barely makes it to the shoulders of most of her acquaintances.

Which begs the question, “How ridiculously tall is the general population of Red Queen?!” and “Was this entire series developed to make me feel bad about my height?”

Harry Potter Book Tag

Who doesn’t like Harry Potter?

People who haven’t read Harry Potter.

Many thanks to the always fantastic Sophia Ismaa for tagging me in this wonderful tag so all you nonexistent readers can finally learn the sought-out information of how I answer these questions. Go check out her blog, peeps!


Which house are you in?

gryffindor

Gryffindor! Really, I feel like I could fit in any of the houses, but Pottermore says I’m in Gryffindor, so *shrugs*.


What is your Patronus?

patronus.jpg

It’s an adder! Adder and Gryffindor is an interesting combination.


What is your wand?

want

Sycamore wood with a Dragon heartstring core 12 ½” and Slightly Springy flexibility.

The sycamore makes a questing wand, eager for new experience and losing brilliance if engaged in mundane activities. It is a quirk of these handsome wands that they may combust if allowed to become ‘bored,’ and many witches and wizards, settling down into middle age, are disconcerted to find their trusty wand bursting into flame in their hand as they ask it, one more time, to fetch their slippers. As may be deduced, the sycamore’s ideal owner is curious, vital and adventurous, and when paired with such an owner, it demonstrates a capacity to learn and adapt that earns it a rightful place among the world’s most highly-prized wand woods.

As a rule, dragon heartstrings produce wands with the most power, and which are capable of the most flamboyant spells. Dragon wands tend to learn more quickly than other types. While they can change allegiance if won from their original master, they always bond strongly with the current owner. The dragon wand tends to be easiest to turn to the Dark Arts, though it will not incline that way of its own accord. It is also the most prone of the three cores to accidents, being somewhat temperamental.

This seems accurate.


What would your boggart be?

A giant worm.

Jk. 😉


What position would you play in Quidditch?

The person in the stands who was forced to come by her friends and brought a book and is reading and being grouchy instead of watching the game. Or the announcer. Maybe. Possibly.


Would you be pureblood, half-blood, or muggle born?

I don’t think it really makes a difference.


What job would you like to have after graduating from Hogwarts?

No idea. An author, perhaps? Same as in the muggle world.


Which of the deathly hallows would you choose?

I’d love to have an invisibility cloak, but I’d probably use it for stupid stuff.


Favorite book?

Order of the Phoenix or Half-Blood Prince.


Least favorite book?

Sorcerer’s Stone. (Sorry.) I generally liked the books more as the series continued. I was meh about the first couple.


Favorite film?

I haven’t watched all the movies. (Sorry.) I watched most of them while they were showing the entire series in a row on TV, but I wasn’t done reading the books yet, so I didn’t watch all of them. On top of that, we were in New York at my aunt’s house so it was loud and I was busy and my grandma was freaking out about the hippogriffs and moving staircases and whatnot and trying to turn off the TV. So I watched them kinda on and off, I don’t remember most of it, and I, therefore, do not have a favorite movie.


Least favorite film?

See above question.


Favorite character?

LUNA LOVEGOOD.


Least favorite/most hated character?

Least favorite: Percy Weasley for being annoying.

Most hated: ?? There are so many to hate. Probably Voldemort.


Favorite teacher at Hogwarts?

Lupin. He was by far the best Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher.


Do you have any unpopular opinions about the series?

I didn’t really get into the series until the fifth book… I only really continued through the first four because everyone had been telling me to read it for years.

I also don’t think Dumbledore is that amazing.

 

The Forgotten Blog Ideas

Heyo, peeps!

I’ve had many blog post ideas over the nearly-year, some of them good, some of them bad, and some which never made the cut. As I’m one to go all-out with bad post ideas, the ones that don’t make the cut are usually just too short. Like only a couple sentences long. But I guarantee that those couple sentences are funny and they don’t deserve to rot away in my notebook of blog ideas. So why not mash them together into a disconnected post and let them have a bit of the spotlight?


  • Playing hot potato with ACTUAL hot potatoes. I mean, who even does that anymore?
  • When you think you’ve been eating multivitamins, but they’re actually gummy bears.
  • When I’m angry at someone, I find that it helps to imagine their head as a watermelon and a conveniently-placed hammer in your hand.
  • What if animals had equal rights? What if you hit a squirrel with your car and it died? Would you be charged with manslaughter (squirrelslaughter)?
  • There’s morning people (early birds), night people (night owls), and me: the perpetually tired.
  • Why did the chicken cross the road?
    • This joke is funny because the listener expects a funny punchline, but the punchline (to get to the other side) is so decidedly unfunny that it’s shocking, and therefore it’s funny.
  • What happened to all the older people in YA fantasy?
  • Nut Ramblings
    • Cashews are my favorite nut
    • Salted almonds are bad
    • Unsalted peanuts are bad
    • So since peanuts must be salted and almonds cannot be salted, peanuts and almonds can’t mix, even though they’re both nuts.
  • bubble cars
  • Is the scent of a freshly mown lawn actually grass blood?
  • Red is my favorite flavor
  • Leave an index card that is decorated and says, “Have a stunning day” in every library book you read for others to find. On the back, write, “Why, today is amazing“.
  • Never stick your hand (or anything else) in the flame. It is not good for your health. (I can’t remember what I meant by this. I don’t get the italics either.)
  • Sayings
    • Never ask a question you don’t know the answer to.
    • The only possible motive for asking a question is to see what the other person knows.
    • One must always believe whatever one finds on the internet.
    • One must never have any expectations at all so one will always be impressed with one’s accomplishments.
    • The worse something tastes, the healthier it must be.
  • Emojis that should exist
    • Yellow circle (for when there is no emotion)
    • scowl
    • stick figure
    • bemused expression
    • one with crossed arms
    • half-smile
    • glaring
    • evil witch cackles
    • furrowed brows
  • From what direction do you peel a banana?
  • When I was a kid, I’d rip the heads off of gummy bears and stick them on other bodies. Is that weird?

So welcome to a piece of my mind. If you didn’t already think I was crazy, here’s some more evidence to prove you otherwise.

This was actually really helpful because while I was looking through my notebooks, I found a bunch of good ideas that I haven’t written posts for yet I think!

Mini Book Reviews

Book reviews of Emmy and Oliver by Robin Benway, Daughter of Smoke & Bone by Laini Taylor, and This Is Where It Ends by Marieke Nijkamp


Emmy and Oliver by Robin Benway || 3.5/5

Emmy’s best friend, Oliver, reappears after being kidnapped by his father ten years ago. Emmy hopes to pick up their relationship right where it left off. Are they destined to be together? Or has fate irreparably driven them apart?

Emmy just wants to be in charge of her own life.

She wants to stay out late, surf her favorite beach—go anywhere without her parents’ relentless worrying. But Emmy’s parents can’t seem to let her grow up—not since the day Oliver disappeared.

Oliver needs a moment to figure out his heart.

He’d thought, all these years, that his dad was the good guy. He never knew that it was his father who kidnapped him and kept him on the run. Discovering it, and finding himself returned to his old hometown, all at once, has his heart racing and his thoughts swirling.

Emmy and Oliver were going to be best friends forever, or maybe even more, before their futures were ripped apart. In Emmy’s soul, despite the space and time between them, their connection has never been severed. But is their story still written in the stars? Or are their hearts like the pieces of two different puzzles—impossible to fit together?

Readers who love Sarah Dessen will tear through these pages with hearts in throats as Emmy and Oliver struggle to face the messy, confusing consequences of Oliver’s father’s crime. Full of romance, coming-of-age emotion, and heartache, these two equally compelling characters create an unforgettable story.

›»∇«‹

I previously read Far From the Tree, Benway’s other book, and I LOVED it. While Emmy and Oliver was an enjoyable read, it didn’t hold the same appeal. The plot was slow and heavily romance-based. I loved the premise, but much of the plot revolved around Emmy and Oliver falling in love.

The characters were well-developed (even the minor characters). Benway created quirky and lovable minor characters and I love them (especially Drew). Bonus: There are parents who are involved in their children’s lives! A rare spectacle in YA fiction. My favorite part of this book was Benway’s writing, which is simple, yet beautiful and very addicting. I read this book in one (very long) sitting. (But, to be fair, I probably wouldn’t have if I had anything else to do. It wasn’t that gripping.)

Read 7/2/18


Daughter of Smoke & Bone by Laini Taylor || 3.5/5

Around the world, black hand prints are appearing on doorways, scorched there by winged strangers who have crept through a slit in the sky.

In a dark and dusty shop, a devil’s supply of human teeth grows dangerously low.

And in the tangled lanes of Prague, a young art student is about to be caught up in a brutal otherworldly war.

Meet Karou. She fills her sketchbooks with monsters that may or may not be real, she’s prone to disappearing on mysterious “errands”, she speaks many languages – not all of them human – and her bright blue hair actually grows out of her head that color. Who is she? That is the question that haunts her, and she’s about to find out.

When beautiful, haunted Akiva fixes fiery eyes on her in an alley in Marrakesh, the result is blood and starlight, secrets unveiled, and a star-crossed love whose roots drink deep of a violent past. But will Karou live to regret learning the truth about herself?

›»∇«‹

While this was an enjoyable read with wonderful world-building, it was heavily romance-based. Much of the story involved the characters being stupidly in love and it was plain icky (sorry, but it’s true). Much of the time while reading this book was spent mentally yelling at the main character to stop swooning over the idiot and GET ACTUAL STUFF DONE. Another thing that annoyed me was how spectacularly beautiful the main character, Karou, and her love interest are and how many times this was reiterated. It’s a waste of words. We get it. You’re prettier than the average human bean. While the plot and characters were annoying for romance-y reasons, the writing and world-building were beautiful. The writing style was whimsical and had a magical feel. I fell in love with it. The world-building was unique and incredibly detailed. Overall, I recommend this book if you don’t mind all the sickly romantic junk.

Read 7/2/18 – 7/6/18


This Is Where It Ends by Marieke Nijkamp || 2.5/5

10:00 a.m. The principal of Opportunity High School finishes her speech, welcoming the entire student body to a new semester and encouraging them to excel and achieve.

10:02 a.m. The students get up to leave the auditorium for their next class.

10:03 a.m. The auditorium doors won’t open.

10:05 a.m. Someone starts shooting.

Told from four different perspectives over the span of fifty-four harrowing minutes, terror reigns as one student’s calculated revenge turns into the ultimate game of survival.

›»∇«‹

This was a kinda enjoyable read in the way that some songs have awful lyrics but have catchy, but bad, melodies and you kinda like them. But not really. The book is creepy, and not in a good way. In a “What have you done?!” sort of way.

I really liked the way the plot was done and how you only got bits and pieces of the story at a time. I liked the way it all weaved together at the end.

But. I didn’t like the ending. It was abrupt.

The multiple point-of-views weren’t done well. There was no difference in voice between the four main characters and I kept having to check to see whose POV I was reading from. I also didn’t get particularly attached to the characters, which resulted in a lack of suspense because I didn’t really care what happened to them. I didn’t like the writing style. It was bland and wasn’t unique. The book also failed at show-not-tell and it didn’t manage to create much suspense in general. This book wasn’t horrible, but I didn’t like it.

I probably wouldn’t have finished it if I had anything better to do.

Read 7/6/18 – 7/8/18


Currently Reading: The Nightingale by Kristin Hannah

TBR

  • Keeper of the Lost Cities by Shannon Messenger (reread)
  • Our Dark Duet by Victoria Schwab
  • Shadow Scale by Rachel Hartman
  • When Did You See Her Last? by Lemony Snicket
  • Days of Blood and Starlight by Laini Taylor
  • The Traitor’s Game by Jennifer A. Nielsen
  • Batman: Nightwalker by Marie Lu
  • Ace of Shades by Amanda Foody
  • Vicious by V.E. Schwab

The Liebster Award

Hello, marshmallows of the universe! I was called upon by the lovely Sophia Ismaa to answer some questions, so answer some questions I shall!

And you guys are marshmallows, so obviously you should be invited.

Because marshmallows are squishy.


RULES

  • Acknowledge the blogger who nominated you
  • Answer their questions
  • Nominate 11 other bloggers to motivate them
  • Ask them 11 questions
  • Let them know you have nominated them

Questions

  1. Do you believe in ghosts?
    • Nope. But does anyone want to try convincing me in the comments?
  2. What is your favorite book?
    • As you probably already know, my favorite book is Six of Crows by Leigh Bardugo. Dudes, this is an amazing book. Don’t question it. Just read it.
  3. What is your favorite film?
    • Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them. This is a movie that is equally as amazing as Six of Crows. I cannot wait for The Crimes of Grindelwald. I watched the movie for the first time before I even read Harry Potter, so I was both utterly confused and utterly in love. It’s a beautiful movie.
  4. Who is your favorite celebrity and why?
    • I’m going to answer this question as specifically ‘favorite actor’ because if we throw authors into the mix, this post would be far too long.
    • I love Emma Watson because of all the work she does as an activist.
    • I love Eddie Redmayne because he’s an amazing actor. And dude, Fantastic Beasts.
  5. Who is the most powerful person in your life? (Emphasis on power).

    • It’s not technically a person, but I’m going to go with my head because it makes me do a bunch of things I’d rather not (namely schoolwork) against my will and blames it on my sense of responsibility. Basically, my head is the parent and I’m the kid being dragged on a leash across the sidewalk while throwing a tantrum, but still being dragged all the same.
    • But being dragged is good for you because schoolwork is good for you.
  6. Favorite song at the moment?
  7. What is your dream job?
    • An author/comedian/world-famous lazy person.
  8. Describe your worst dinner party (use your imagination!).
    • I’m wearing a horrible, heavy, itchy, ugly, impractical dress.
    • It’s hot.
    • People are chewing really, really obnoxiously.
    • Spinnette’s not there.
    • It’s in a volcano.
    • The food is really spicy.
    • Everyone is making small talk.
    • While making small talk, people are chewing with their mouths open and the food is going everywhere.
    • All the people there are people I don’t like.
  9. Invent a new word and provide a definition.
    • Bagoozale (noun): Informal term for strong winds that tend to blow cacti into clouds, resulting in cactus-rain.
  10. You are a rapper who has reached worldwide fame, what is your rapper name?
    • Arachnid, but pronounced Arachnid.
  11. Tell us the worst or funniest reason that got you in detention or in trouble.
    • Story Time! So, first, a fact. Elementary schoolers tend to be stupid in the common sense department. No elementary schoolers are excluded. Apologies to all elementary schoolers, but this cannot be denied.
    • So. At our elementary school, in the winter EVERYONE would hunker down and mine ice. We’d form tribes of elementary schoolers, either organized by grade, class, or friend groups, depending on whether people felt like working together. (But, of course, some decided to go lone wolf.)
    • When the parking lot and the paved part of the playground were shoveled, the snow plows would leave the piles of snow on the edge of the playground. Hidden in these hard-packed snow piles were chunks of ice. Elementary schoolers of all ages would use other pieces of ice to chip away at the piles to collect more ice and carefully hide this ice for the entirety of recess.
    • It was hard work and no one really knew what the point was. It was always “We’ll eventually do something with this ice,” but that something was always postponed until everything melted. It’s like mindlessly doing the same taxing, but useless, thing over and over and over again until everything is destroyed then starting over again in an endless circle forever. Oh, wait. It’s exactly like that.
    • The ice-mining elementary schooler tribes would often raid other tribes’ ice-storage facilities (also made of ice), which is why the ice had to be hidden so carefully. Even so, someone always found it, so a day’s work was always reset the next day.
    • Throughout all this mess, no one ever realized the futility of it all.
    • Anyway, one day in first grade, the teacher whistled on her whistle to signal the end of recess, but my friend and I weren’t done hiding our ice and my friend demanded that I help her so I wouldn’t be the reason that someone steals all our ice (even though this is an inevitable fate).
    • So now first-grade me had a difficult choice to make. Teacher or friend? Should I listen to the authority figure or should I succumb to peer pressure?
    • I succumbed to peer pressure and helped my friend shove the ice underneath a pine tree.
    • We were late.
    • I got my first yellow card.

Going off topic now, is peer pressure really always a bad thing? Sure there’s negative peer pressure, which is what everyone tells you to avoid (as you should), but I think peer pressure can be good too. I tried a lot of new things because of peer pressure, like tubing, roller coasters, root beer, etc. that I wouldn’t have otherwise. And while I didn’t really like any of those three examples, I’m glad I tried them so I know what to avoid in the future.


Read More:

Showers

So today, I was looking at some random meme:

Image result for random things

Since everyone gets inspiration from memes, I decided to make a post about my own shower time limits.

When I was a small hatchling, my mother used to do this thing called Towel Time and showed me proportions of time passing using a towel. Each time she showed me this, she told me to spend less time in the shower since I was in there for too long. And I mean, extremely long—to the point to where I become a human prune!

Seriously, this meme dude has a firm grasp on this Towel Time concept because I don’t know anyone (besides the Grand Master Of the Towels, my mother) who would shower for such a short amount of time. When I step into the shower, time seems to just slip away as my fingers prune. To me, it’s like a drug—once you start, you can’t stop. Towel Time would be the creepy cigarette commercial after I’m done.

Now, let me break down the things I actually do in the shower.

Unlike the meme, I do not have the brain capacity to reflect on the universe and instead sing an odd blended combination of Kpop, the Heathers Musical, Disney songs and the National Anthem of the U.S.A. (I just really like singing the National anthem okay?). Also, bits of other pop songs I like on the radio are stuffed in as well. This takes about 70% of my shower time.

Before I start to sing, I talk to You for awhile and fantasize about situations could never be in. Of course, this is the other 29% remaining plus the other 1% dedicated to actually doing things that are supposed to be done in these water hubs.

Yep. Time Management.

 

 

 

 

The Sunshine Blogger Award

I was nominated for this award by the amazing Sophia Ismaa Writes. Go check out her blog because she’s simply amazing.

P.S. Sophia nominated me for this in February, so apologies for being extremely overdue. If this were a library, my fine would be quite hefty.


What is The Sunshine Blogger Award?

It’s an award given to bloggers who bring creativity, sunshine, and positivity to the lives of readers.


RULES

  1. First of all, thank the blogger who has nominated you and link to their blog in your post.
  2. Answer the 11 questions asked by the blogger.
  3. Nominate 11 more blogs, who you think should be given this award.
  4. List the rules and the logo of the award on your post or in your blog.

Questions

1) What is something that excites you these days?

So many things excite me! Cactus, kittens, Iceland, bronze thread, dark chocolate, mint, new food (especially desserts), SUGAR, new music, old music, etc.

2) What is your spirit animal?

One sec.

Me (To Google): What, exactly, is a spirit animal?

Google: ………[definition of a spirit animal]…….. Got it?

Me: I’m still confused…

My Patronus is an adder?

3) What is the best advice someone has given you?

I can’t remember. This is worrisome.

4) What was your first blog post and would you change anything about it now?

Gah. What have you done? You’re going to make me share my first blog post?!

*Melts in embarrassment*

This is the blogging equivalent of your parents showing your classmates your baby pictures.

The Home Page

Okay, so many things wrong with this. First, it wasn’t even on the home page. I didn’t know the difference between the home page and a post. Second, it wasn’t put in a category and it was tagged with only “home page”. Third, ~two hundred posts later, I’m glad my writing style has improved.

5) What is your favorite post ever written?

Solving all Your Stupid Problems

6) Which philosopher just gets you?

um…

7) Where are you from?

I was born in Canada, but I grew up in a smallish town in Michigan and I recently moved to a different, slightly larger but still smallish town in Michigan and I left Spinette behind. *quiet weeping*

8) What inspired you to start blogging?

My very first blog was started two years ago on a school field trip and it died in about three weeks. You could say my teacher inspired me to start blogging.

9) Who is your favourite person in the world and why?

Spinette because she’s awesome.

10) How would the people closest to you describe you?

It depends who you ask. If you ask Scorpion, he’d say annoying. If you ask my friends, they’d hopefully say that I’m quiet, but funny.

11) Invent your own question and answer it!

The answer is moaning iguanas.

Ask TheWebWeavers #3 || The Chewer

Sophia Ismaa Writes asks…

My aunt chews so loudly. Like, SO loudly that it sounds like there’s a factory operating in her mouth and every single one of the workers there are French kissing each other. I have told her I don’t like it because it gives me flashbacks to someone in my childhood and it makes me uncomfortable. She refuses to change. What do I do?

There are several courses of action that you can take for this particular problem. You have already attempted the most simple and effective one, asking her to stop, but that did not work. Unfortunately, chewing loudly is something that one often doesn’t realize they’re doing. So asking someone to stop might quiet them down for a minute or two, but then they’re right back to chewing like a lawnmower.

It’s quite difficult to change someone else, so the easiest course of action is to change either yourself or your environment.

  1. Wear earplugs/noise-canceling headphones
    • This option is, of course, a bit rude. But sometimes drastic measures must be taken. However, the drawback to this plan is that it will be quite difficult to follow the conversation. So it is recommended that one becomes proficient in the art of lip-reading before attempting this method.
  2. Avoid eating with your aunt
    • This method is also somewhat rude. But effective. You could claim to be busy or even say you’re eating with other people.
  3. If you are cooking…
    1. Make only Jell-O. It’s hard to chew loudly with Jell-O
    2. Make something like spaghetti that requires a lot of slurping (and other disgusting chewing sounds) to eat. Set the table so you are sitting really close to your aunt, and talk with your mouth full during dinner. Later, while there is still food in your mouth, laugh rambunctiously at your own spectacular joke and throw your arm around your aunt in a fit of giggles. Then just stay there on your aunt’s shoulder for a bit and keep eating, making sure to chew obnoxiously in her ear. Add loud slurping for a bit of pizzaz. If you want to get extra credit, laugh again at someone else’s joke later in the meal and “accidentally” spit a piece of food onto her plate.
      • This labor-intensive solution will hopefully make your aunt become more aware of her own chewing.
  4. Show her this post.

Do you have any questions that need answering? Send them to Ask TheWebWeavers using the Contact Page. Please specify if you want your letter to be anonymous. If you want the world to know who you are (otherwise known as this small corner of the internet), we’ll add a link to your blog to help spread the love.

Texting? What’s that?

LOL. BRB. ABC. TTYL. ETC.

Do you know what texting is? I’m going to operate under the assumption that you do know what it is because if you don’t, I’ll be forced to ask, “How oblivious can a person be?”

No one actually calls anymore. No, no, no. That’s so old-fashioned. It’s all about texting now. The blipipity-bloop-bloop buttons that are pressed to send sentences to other peeps. Like a faster version of email (email *scoffs*—so passé). Often, the buttons are quite small, resulting in numerous vexing typos.

But like good old snail-mail, one cannot convey emotions through simple text as well as one can through phone calls or *gasp* face-to-face interaction. Thus, the creation of the emoji.

This weekend, Spinette and I were sitting on a couch. We were less than six inches apart and yet we were texting instead of speaking. And the reasoning we used to validate this behavior was the lack of emoji in real life.

I mean, it’s not like you can use your face to display emotion. No, no, no. It’s all about that emoji.

Also, it should be noted that we were at an emoji-themed birthday party.

Keyword = emoji-themed.

Phones, phones, phones.

A Brief Example…

You are eating lunch with Friend A, B, and C. But you are currently texting Friend D, who is not there. You are texting Friend D because Friend A and B are group-chatting with Friend E and Friend C is staring off into space and slightly drooling and you don’t want to deal with that drool. Since no one at your lunch table is talking to you, you begin to text Friend D to entertain yourself and complain about Friend C’s drool.

Later, you are eating dinner with Friend D, but you are texting Friend C to talk about how awesome the restaurant is. Friend D gets bored of you not paying attention to him and goes off to another table to talk to an ex-boyfriend who has just walked into the restaurant.

The Solution…

If only you were to strike up a conversation. Then Friend A and B would stop texting Friend E because, honestly, you’re far more interesting than her. Friend C (whose phone was taken away because she refused to do the dishes) is intrigued by your conversation and joins in, ceasing to drool. Now, the drool problem is solved and you, Friend A, B, and C will all get your daily dose of Real Life Human Interaction.

And later, you can hold a proper conversation with Friend D so he doesn’t wander away and get caught up in the mess that is Ex-Boyfriend.

TADA

I am brilliant.

Awesome Blogger Award

Greetings, dear readers. As always, I am extremely behind on tags, so I’m going to try and catch up on them these following days/weeks/months/years/infinity.

I was tagged for this awesome tag by the ever awesome Kiersten. Check out her answers for the tag! They’re hilarious and so very awesome.


RULES

  • Thank the person who nominated you.
  • Include the reason behind the award.
  • Include the banner in your post.
  • Tag it under #awesomebloggeraward in the Reader.
  • Answer the questions your nominator gave you.
  • Nominate at least 5 awesome bloggers and let your nominees know that they’ve been nominated.
  • Give your nominees ten questions.

Behind The Awesome Blogger Award

The award was created by Maggie at Dreaming of Guatemala who stated – “This is an award for the absolutely wonderful writers all across the blogging world. They have beautiful blogs, are kind and lovely, and always find a way to add happiness and laughter to the lives of their readers. That is what truly defines an awesome blogger.”


The Questions

If you could choose any job to have in the world (fictional or real) what would it be and why?

How do people manage to pick one job? This is hard. It’d be awesome to be an author because they get to create worlds and stories and share it with people, who keep these worlds and stories inside of their heads, so it basically kinda almost becomes real. I’d also want to be an artist because they get to make art. And that’s awesome.

Who is your favorite booktuber/blogger?

I have too many favorites.

Why did you decide to start blogging?

The unicorns beckoned me.

I think I’ve mentioned this before, but I started my first blog on a school field trip where they told us to start a blog. Spinette started her first blog on the same field trip. We were in seperate groups, and it just so happened that we both made unicorn-based blogs. It also just so happens that there’s not much to say on unicorn-based blogs and they both died pretty quickly.

We all have literary passports, where is yours stamped the most? 

I want to go everywhere!

But the issue is that while most places are awesome to read about, I’d rather not visit because I’d rather not have near-death experiences myself. I’ll leave that to the professionals.

My passport would be stamped the most with Red London stamps from the Shades of Magic Trilogy.

What’s your Harry Potter name? Use this generator to find out!

Araminta Wood. (A Really Minty Wood. I’m wearing mint chapstick. *Shrugs*)

What are some of your guilty pleasures? Whether they are book-related or not.

  • CHOCOLATE. I’ll eat any kind of chocolate, but I prefer the dark variety.
  • Reading when I should probably be doing homework.
  • Staying up late to finish a book when I should probably be sleeping.
  • Blogging when I should probably be doing homework.

What is something that you love about your blog?

There are many things that I love about my blog.

  • I love connecting with people from all over the world about shared interests.
  • I love being random and writing weird posts.
  • I love how my writing has improved since I’ve started this blog. (Practice makes better, after all.)
  • I love reading the spam comments.

What is your favorite post that you have personally done?

I love Solving all Your Stupid Problems. It’s a perfect example of a really weird post. And I liked feeling helpful, since, you know, I’ve solved all your stupid problems.


I’m Nominating…

I’m just going to sneakily steal all of Kiersten’s questions because I’m currently trying to write seven posts in a day (*nervous laughter*) to schedule for when I go to New York tomorrow for a week for my cousin’s wedding. (*more nervous laughter*) Yeah? Did I kinda accidentally forget to tell you guys and procrastinate on my post scheduling? The answer: Kinda totally yes.

Anyway. On to the nominees!

 

P.S. I also haven’t packed…

10 Things You Need to Know About Feminism

An awesome post from Sophia.

Sophia Ismaa Writes

Feminism is defined as “the advocacy of women’s rights on the ground of the equality of the sexes.” However, for a movement that seeks to create a better world for both men and women, it has received a significantly terrible reputation. Be it calling us “feminazi’s”, man-haters, bra-burners or even simply misunderstanding what feminism means. I’m here to clarify some basic misconceptions about feminism, so keep reading!

new girl

  1. You can be a feminist and be a homemaker. In fact, being a homemaker can be your actual profession. How you choose to live your life is up to you and all that matters is that your profession doesn’t harm others and that you are happy. You cannot complain about a woman not having a “real job” when it doesn’t affect you. If your values centre around being a particular kind of working woman, then do you. They are not obliged to live…

View original post 853 more words

Stationary Book Tag!

Hello, marshmallows of the universe!

Today is the day that I complete the Stationary Book Tag, which I was tagged for by the wonderful Whimsy Pages.

[When I first read the title of the tag, I thought that it meant ‘stationary’ like, Help me, I’m stuck in quicksand. I can’t move. Ignore my random brain vomit. I thought I’d share. The vomit. Because vomit is made to be shared. (Because, you know, when someone vomits, somebody else sees the vomits and then they vomit and I’m getting distracted.)]


RULES

  • THANK THE CREATOR: SAM @ RIVERMOOSEREADS
  • ANSWER THE QUESTIONS.
  • ADD PICTURES! (IF YOU WANT TO)
  • TAG (ABOUT) 5 PEOPLE.

PENCILS: FAVOURITE CHILDREN’S BOOK

I’m going to confess something on here for (possibly?) the first time. Don’t hurt me. I hated reading until about second grade. Why? Because (a) I couldn’t read well until second grade (b) everyone else in my class could read and (c) PICTURE BOOKS SUCK (Well, at least the ones that I read). They were stupid and had no action, no adventure. Many were about daily activities, good morals, boring topics. And the ones with action and adventure (*cough* *cough* Magic Tree House/Rainbow Magic) were SO repetitive. The same thing happened in every book. It was basically copy-and-paste, copy-and-paste. It was predictable. It wasn’t THRILLING.

My favorite children’s books were The Secrets of Droon series and the A to Z Mysteries series. They had it all. Intrigue, suspense, thrill, adventure.


PENS: A BASIC STAPLE FOR ANY READER

There are many books that simply must be read by everyone, but I’m going to agree with Whimsy Pages and go with the everpresent Harry Potter.


NOTEBOOKS: BOOKS YOU OWN A MULTIPLE COPIES OF

I currently have two copies of Simon vs The Homo Sapiens Agenda on my bookshelf, but one of them is a present for my friend. I don’t usually (or ever) buy two copies of a book.


MARKERS: BOOKS WITH BEAUTIFUL COVERS

My favorite cover is  The Language of Thorns by Leigh Bardugo. The art on the inside is gorgeous as well.

the language of thorns.jpg


GLUE: TWO CHARACTERS THAT WORK TOGETHER EVEN IF THEY AREN’T TOGETHER

I’m not entirely sure what this means. Like, friends? My go-to answer is Keefe Sencen and Sophie Foster from Keeper of the Lost Cities, but I talk about Keeper all the time, so I’m going to go with Mare and Farley from Red Queen.


SCISSORS: WHAT BOOK WOULD YOU LIKE TO DESTROY

I wouldn’t actually destroy a book. I don’t have it in me. But hypothetically, I’d love to destroy Matched by Ally Condie. I wasted too much of my life reading the book.


ART KIT: WHAT COMPLETER SERIES YOU OWN

  • Red Queen Quartet by Victoria Aveyard
  • Six of Crows Duology by Leigh Bardugo
  • The School for Good and Evil Trilogy by Soman Chainani.
  • The Hunger Games Trilogy by Suzanne Collins
  • Keeper of the Lost Cities by Shannon Messenger
  • Lawless Trilogy by Jeffrey Salane
  • Shades of Magic Trilogy by V.E. Schwab

I’m Tagging…

“Where Babies Come From” According to Mini Arachnid

Before my brother was born, I thought that babies were things that people just had or didn’t have. Like hair.

I guess I just never stopped to consider, hey, where did this baby come from? just like I never stopped to consider, hey, where did this couch come from?

When my mom was pregnant with my brother, my parents told me that this future person was inside my mother. *Explosions of insanity* Like, did she eat him? Is that ethically correct? I don’t think I fully comprehended this until she gave birth, though.

I remember the day before my brother was due, my mother was basically a hot air balloon. If the baby is that big, then how does it even get out?

So I asked my mother, “How does the baby get out?”

And my mother and my cousin shared this look and neither of them answered. So I started guessing. “Does it come out of your mouth? That’d be so uncomfortable. Would you be able to breathe? Does it come out of your butt? Is poop a baby?”

At this point, to stop me from going any further, my mom said, “They’re going to cut it out of my stomach.”

This, obviously, horrified me. I imagined some evil cartoonish surgeon taking a huge, rusty knife to my mother and then stitching her back up like a zombie.

I mean, this was kinda true because she had a c-section.

So then four-year-old me kept thinking. Because that’s healthy. What triggers a pregnancy? I decided that it happens spontaneously. Like you’re just eating breakfast one day and bam you’re pregnant and you instantly become a human blimp. But then what’s stopping my mom from having another kid? I was not happy with the first one; a second would be a nightmare.

Little Arachnid: “Mom, what’s stopping you from getting pregnant again?”

Arachnid’s Mom: They gave me an injection so I won’t have any more kids.

Well, okay. Good enough for now.

Until people started asking if Scorpion got his nose from his dad and his eyes from his mom. I understood how Scorpion would get his eyes from his mom because I mean, he was inside her. But how would he get anything from his dad? My dad wasn’t pregnant. Maybe it’s from kissing. Like, in all that icky salival exchange noses are transferred to babies. But no. Then they wouldn’t have actors kissing each other on Good Luck, Charlie because then they’d all have kids! It’s all probably transferred through the air. Because after they get married, the dad and the mom live together, so then air particles are transferred and that’s where Scorpion gets his nose.

 

This explanation worked for me for years until we got back from a baby shower and I started thinking again.

If babies have to be surgically removed from their mothers, what did cavemen and dolphins do? Because they don’t have hospitals.

Babies must come out of their mother’s belly buttons! What else would belly buttons be used for? Right? Right?

Mini Book Reviews

Book reviews of Who Could That Be at This Hour? by Lemony Snicket, The Glass Castle by Jeannette Walls, and Seraphina by Rachel Hartman.


Who Could That Be at This Hour? by Lemony Snicket || 4/5

The adventure began in a fading town. Far from anyone he knew or trusted, a young Lemony Snicket started an apprenticeship for a secret organization shrouded in mystery and secrecy. He asked questions that shouldn’t have been on his mind. Now he has written an account that should not be published that shouldn’t be read. Not even by you. Seriously, we recommend that you do NOT ask your parents for this, the first book in his new ALL THE WRONG QUESTIONS series.
Lemony Snicket, in case you don’t already know, grew up to be the author of A Series of Unfortunate Events series.

»»∇««

As with A Series of Unfortunate Events, I wasn’t entirely sure what was going on, but it was an enjoyable read anyway. I adore Lemony Snicket’s writing style; it’s very unique and whimsical.

Unfortunately, I didn’t like this book as much as A Series of Unfortunate Events, but I have yet to finish this series (All the Wrong Questions).

The main character, Lemony Snicket, narrates the book like an old black-and-white detective show, which I like. The book also has the perfect level of absurdity, making it all the better.

I love reading prequel and spin-off series because it’s fun to see more of the minor character’s lives, but it’s unfortunate that most of the time, spin-offs are never quite as good as the original. Luckily, this was not the case for All the Wrong Questions and I highly recommend it for fans of A Series of Unfortunate Events.


The Glass Castle by Jeannette Walls || 5/5

A tender, moving tale of unconditional love in a family that, despite its profound flaws, gave the author the fiery determination to carve out a successful life on her own terms.

Jeannette Walls grew up with parents whose ideals and stubborn nonconformity were both their curse and their salvation. Rex and Rose Mary Walls had four children. In the beginning, they lived like nomads, moving among Southwest desert towns, camping in the mountains. Rex was a charismatic, brilliant man who, when sober, captured his children’s imagination, teaching them physics, geology, and above all, how to embrace life fearlessly. Rose Mary, who painted and wrote and couldn’t stand the responsibility of providing for her family, called herself an “excitement addict.” Cooking a meal that would be consumed in fifteen minutes had no appeal when she could make a painting that might last forever.

Later, when the money ran out, or the romance of the wandering life faded, the Walls retreated to the dismal West Virginia mining town — and the family — Rex Walls had done everything he could to escape. He drank. He stole the grocery money and disappeared for days. As the dysfunction of the family escalated, Jeannette and her brother and sisters had to fend for themselves, supporting one another as they weathered their parents’ betrayals and, finally, found the resources and will to leave home.

What is so astonishing about Jeannette Walls is not just that she had the guts and tenacity and intelligence to get out, but that she describes her parents with such deep affection and generosity. Hers is a story of triumph against all odds, but also a tender, moving tale of unconditional love in a family that despite its profound flaws gave her the fiery determination to carve out a successful life on her own terms.

For two decades, Jeannette Walls hid her roots. Now she tells her own story.

»»∇««

I don’t usually read memoirs, or nonfiction in general, but this book was amazing nonetheless.

I’m not really sure how to go about reviewing a nonfiction book because there’s no way to really change the plot. I can’t say “the plot should’ve been stronger” because there’s only one way the plot can possibly be.

The story was captivating. Reading this book was like living a life completely different from my own, yet Walls somehow made it relatable. The most intriguing aspect for me is that despite the fact that Walls’s parents were unrefutably irresponsible parents, Walls loved them all the same and this was made obvious through her writing. I am envious of Walls’s ability to convey emotion through her writing. This is an amazing book and I highly recommend it.

(I do wish her siblings were more detailed, especially Lori and Maureen.)


Seraphina by Rachel Hartman || 4/5

In her New York Times bestselling and Morris Award-winning debut, Rachel Hartman introduces mathematical dragons in an alternative-medieval world to fantasy and science-fiction readers of all ages. Eragon-author Christopher Paolini calls them, “Some of the most interesting dragons I’ve read in fantasy.”

Four decades of peace have done little to ease the mistrust between humans and dragons in the kingdom of Goredd. Folding themselves into human shape, dragons attend court as ambassadors, and lend their rational, mathematical minds to universities as scholars and teachers. As the treaty’s anniversary draws near, however, tensions are high.

Seraphina Dombegh has reason to fear both sides. An unusually gifted musician, she joins the court just as a member of the royal family is murdered—in suspiciously draconian fashion. Seraphina is drawn into the investigation, partnering with the captain of the Queen’s Guard, the dangerously perceptive Prince Lucian Kiggs. While they begin to uncover hints of a sinister plot to destroy the peace, Seraphina struggles to protect her own secret, the secret behind her musical gift, one so terrible that its discovery could mean her very life.

»»∇««

This book is hard to read. Not in that it covers a heavy topic, but in that the writing itself is difficult to comprehend. Spinette got me this book for my birthday (but she has yet to read it. I’m glaring at you) and I first read it two years ago. Two years ago, most of the book went over my head and I barely had any idea of what was going on. Likewise, I didn’t continue the series. I’m happy to say that my reading ability has improved since then and I both understood and greatly enjoyed this book. (Although I still recommend reading it with a well-stocked dictionary on hand.) Once you understand what is being said, you’ll realize that the writing in this book is gorgeous. It’s easily one of the best examples of prose I’ve read. I’d recommend it just for the writing. The plot is lovely, but it’s far from “action-packed”. There were many tense scenes, but no action scenes involving the main character. The plot was heavy on politics. The characters were lovely and the minor ones were adequately developed. Overall, I highly recommend this unique book.


Currently Reading: Children of Blood and Bone by Tomi Adeyemi

 

TBR

  • To Kill a Kingdom by Alexandra Christo
  • Fahrenheit 451 by Ray Bradbury
  • Keeper of the Lost Cities by Shannon Messenger (reread)
  • Our Dark Duet by Victoria Schwab
  • Shadow Scale by Rachel Hartman
  • When Did You See Her Last? by Lemony Snicket
  • Days of Blood and Starlight by Laini Taylor
  • Batman: Nightwalker by Marie Lu
  • Furyborn by Claire Legrand
  • The Traitor’s Game by Jennifer A. Nielsen

The Funniest Spam Comments

Spam Comments. We all get them, and we all hate them. Some of them are just annoying, and others contain suspicious links and/or phone numbers. (Tip: NEVER CLICK THE LINKS)

But sometimes they are absolutely hilarious, and those are the ones that we are going to laugh at the expense of today. So the next time you open your spam folder, don’t grudgingly start the arduous task of blocking and deleting all of them, excitedly start the arduous task of blocking and deleting all of them because you never know when you’ll stumble across a gem.

And then reply to said gem in a post because never reply to spam comments.


Thanks for shɑring your thߋughtѕ about aol celeƄrіty sounds.
Regards

What’s a celebrity sound? Is it like “cows go moo”, “cats go meow”, “dogs go ruff”, “pigs go oink”, etc.?

Mother (to Toddler): What sound does a cow make?

Toddler: Moo.

Mother: What sound does a sheep make?

Toddler: Baa.

Mother: What sound does a celebrity make?

Toddler: …


I savor, resuult iin I found exactly what I used to bee taking a look
for. You’ve ended my 4 dayy lengthy hunt! God Bless you man.
Have a great day. Bye

I glad you savored our content like a good batch of french fries. And I’m happy that we were the finish line to the four days you wasted on the internet. You know, it’ll rot your brain. Play outside or something.

May the French Fry Overlords bless you too, bro.

Have a SPLENDID day. Bye.


The Bengali film industry has been there since 1890sed a whole lot so
has got the amount of film lovers. The idea just for this indoor play centre
came in the event the Wilikie brothers tied a rope on the roof of a factory roof and slid
down it into bales of hay. My father had much he would have
educated me in but he refused to go to certainly one of my shows as an adult and teen.

This one, while being just a load of random history, creeped me out a bit. Why? Because it specifically says “The Bengali film industry”. And I’m Bengali, so I must ask, How did they know?!

And I’m sorry about your dad being mean, random internet dude.


I loved as much as you’ll receive carried out right here. The sketch is tasteful, your authored subject matter stylish. nonetheless, you command get got an nervousness over that you wish be delivering the following. unwell unquestionably come more formerly again as exactly the same nearly a lot often inside case you shield this increase.

I followed at first, sort of. But then, soon after, What?. You’ve lost me. I’m confused. Too many adverbs. What’s going on? I recommend grammar.


As you! like something extremely new? Open and look at this link. Only here the choice of girls for every unique guy and completely free! They are good slaves, they will and want perform anything you command !

This one creeps me out way more than that film industry one. I’m actually kind of outraged.

I’m hoping so hard that no one actually clicks on that link.

“They are good slaves,”

What?! What?!


Clearly, these people need to be educated on the finer points of grammar.

Read more: Interesting and Nonsensical Spam Comments

Liebster Award

Many thanks to the amazing Yes more blogs for tagging me. All you lovely marshmallows, go follow this amazing blogger! I love his writing style, it’s like a conversation.


The Rules (That I’m Totally Following Exactly)

  1. Thank the person who nominated you, and put a link to their blog on your blog. Try to include a little promotion for the person who nominated you. They will thank you for it and those who you nominate will also help you out as well.
  2. Display the award on your blog — by including it in your post and/or displaying it using a “widget” or a “gadget”. (Note that the best way to do this is to save the image to your own computer and then upload it to your blog post.)
  3. For the 2018 Liebster Award, I will be shaking things up! Write a small post about what makes you passionate about blog posting.
  4. Provide 10 random facts about yourself. (Again this year I’m making this optional. If you wish to engage with your readers it’s a great idea to include random facts about you.)
  5. Nominate 5 – 11 blogs that you feel would enjoy blogging about this award.
  6. List these rules in your post (You can copy and paste from here or simply link to this post.)
  7. Inform the people/blogs that you nominated that they have been nominated for the Liebster award and provide a link for them to your post.
  8. Interview/Q&A. Answer the questions provided by the blog nominating you and leave questions for your nominees.

Q&A

  1. What is your favorite place?
    1. My favorite place is either the library for being so ridiculously awesome or Disney World for being the place of my happiest memories. Or maybe the house I grew up in for being so beautiful. I have lots of favorite places.
  2. If you could have a conversation with anyone, who would it be?
    1. Keefe Sencen from Keeper of the Lost Cities. He’s my favorite book character and I’d love to meet him. He has a wicked sense of humor.
  3. Your most used phrase or word?
    1. Lovely. I use it far too much, but to be fair, it is an awesome word.
  4. What is the best part of blogging?
    1. Commenting and having conversations! I love talking to people all over the world about writing and books and blogging and a whole slew of random stuff.
  5. Name something that makes you laugh.
    1. Shipping individual sugar cubes in the mail.
  6. How do you relax?
    1. Reading!
  7. What do you want to achieve this month?
    1. I want to finish a short story. (Update: The short story has been completed as of 7/23/18)
  8. What is the best song you’ve ever heard?
    1. Mama by My Chemical Romance.
  9. Would you rather fly or read minds?
    1. Neither? Is that an option. I rather like the ground and I don’t really want to fly and reading minds would be awful. First, there’s the whole moral standpoint. Isn’t it an invasion of privacy? Second, I wouldn’t want to listen to everyone’s thoughts all the time. It’d be so distracting and it wouldn’t leave any room for my own thoughts. I also wouldn’t want to listen to every single thought that people think about me. It probably wouldn’t be good for my self-esteem. But if I had to choose one, I’d go with flying, just to avoid the mind reading.
  10. Do you believe we control our own fate?
    1. yes.

Read more:


Heyo, peeps! Apologies for not following the rules. It’s Scorpion’s (my brother’s) birthday today, and I’m spending time with him, so there was not enough time for all the rules. Some of the less important ones were forgotten.

Solving All Your Stupid Problems Part 2

You are a cheese hater of the greatest proportion. Excluding lactose-intolerant people, you must hate cheese more than anyone else in the human population. Your twin brother, on the other hand, loves cheese more than anyone else in the human population. Over the years, your extremely differing views on cheese have led to a growing rift between you and your twin and you are now feuding, as you have been for the last 3¾ years. One night, you go to sleep peacefully, safe in the knowledge that your loyal guard of 3½ years is protecting you and preventing anyone from entering your room while you lay vulnerable and unconscious in your bed. But, beyond the boundary of your knowledge, your brother infiltrated your circle of guards three-and-a-half years ago with his trusted friend, Kevin, and tonight is the night that they plan to act and finally end this feud.

When you are sleeping deeply and snoring loud enough to cover any sound a squeaky wheelbarrow may make, Kevin quietly opens the previously-oiled door and rolls in a rusty, squeaky wheelbarrow full of cheese. He surreptitiously pours the cheese over you like Mount Vesuvius surreptitiously poured ashes over Pompeii and Kevin tiptoes out of the room, leaving the wheelbarrow.

You, being a deep sleeper, don’t wake because of the cheese. But you do wake up because you had an unsettling nightmare of being buried alive in bat guano.

There is no simple solution to this simple problem. But, some (not your brother) would say “fortunately”, there is a complicated one. Fortunately, it isn’t too difficult if you hold tight to your wits. This is assuming you had any wits in the first place, of course.

I suppose one could simply dig through cheese, but there’s no thrill in that.

  • Using cheddar, provolone, and your nightcap, create a time-traveling device.
    • If you aren’t of the scientific prowess to achieve this, use pale-colored cheese to create a genie lamp. Rub the lamp and ask the genie for a time-travel device. This should result in the same results, but it’s not preferable because no one likes to deal with fussy cheese genies.
  • Use the time-travel device, however obtained, to travel back in time to when Kevin had just finished putting the cheese in the wheelbarrow.
  • Dispose of the traitor Kevin however you wish, but do it quietly, for word cannot get back to your brother that his plan has been foiled.
  • Dispose of the monstrous cheese as well. I recommend throwing it into a volcano. Cheese deserves no better.
  • Dispose of your monstrous, cheese-loving brother. I recommend throwing him into a volcano.

You are a brand new lifeguard, fresh from the assembly line. You’re not yet familiar with the tricks of the trade, but you make up what you lack with enthusiasm. Life has not yet had a chance to bring you down. You meticulously scan the beach for trouble, hoping in a place dark place of your mind you’d rather not acknowledge that something goes wrong and you can be a hero. With all your attention focused on the water, you don’t notice the curious seagull pecking around your lifeguard chair. Well, at least you don’t notice the seagull until it’s too late.

The seagull leaps into your lap in a flurry of feathers. You, in a state of shock, scream at a high frequency, scaring the seagull, who squawks back at you, frazzled, and scares you further, increasing the pitch of your scream.

The seagull finally gets fed up and hops off of your lap, but he takes your megaphone with him in his beak. The seagull waddles down the beach, the megaphone in tow. About ten yards down the beach from you, he stops and starts squawking into the megaphone. Everyone on the beach covers their ears, protecting themselves from the seagull’s horrible yodeling. You are at a loss of what to do. You’re somewhat terrified of birds, but you’d never admit it, so you need someone to help you. Someone who can either be trusted with your secret or is so oblivious to the world that they’d never figure out your secret without being explicitly told. You decide to go with the latter option and you call your cousin, a professional fisher who lives twenty minutes away.

  • Call your cousin, who happens to be a professional fisher and lives nearby.
  • Wait for your cousin to arrive. Warily watch the seagull while doing so.
  • Order your cousin to catch a fish. This shouldn’t take long as she’s a professional, right?

2 HOURS LATER

  • Most of the beach-goers have left the beach due to the incessant squawking. Your cousin finally catches a fish.
  • Take the fish from your cousin.
  • Dangling the fish on the fishing rod, lure the seagull away from the beach so the beach-goers can return.
  • Make a deal with the human-language speaking seagull to trade the fish for the megaphone.

Assuming the seagull agrees to your fair deal, your problem is solved! If the seagull has become too attached to the megaphone and refuses to trade it, I’m afraid I can’t help you.


Read more: Solving all Your Stupid Problems Part 1

Book Reviews

Book reviews of King’s Cage by Victoria Aveyard, Between Shades of Gray by Ruta Sepetys, and Boy Meets Boy by David Levithan.


King’s Cage by Victoria Aveyard || 4/5

Review of Glass Sword.

In this breathless third installment to Victoria Aveyard’s bestselling Red Queen series, allegiances are tested on every side. And when the Lightning Girl’s spark is gone, who will light the way for the rebellion?

Mare Barrow is a prisoner, powerless without her lightning, tormented by her lethal mistakes. She lives at the mercy of a boy she once loved, a boy made of lies and betrayal. Now a king, Maven Calore continues weaving his dead mother’s web in an attempt to maintain control over his country—and his prisoner.

As Mare bears the weight of Silent Stone in the palace, her once-ragtag band of newbloods and Reds continue organizing, training, and expanding. They prepare for war, no longer able to linger in the shadows. And Cal, the exiled prince with his own claim on Mare’s heart, will stop at nothing to bring her back.

When blood turns on blood, and ability on ability, there may be no one left to put out the fire—leaving Norta as Mare knows it to burn all the way down.

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I really enjoy this series and this book, but the plot in King’s Cage is slow. It’s somewhat tedious to read through and there are only two action scenes. (But these action scenes are very long, very action-packed, and very good.)

On the other hand, there was a lot of character development, especially for Mare, which I appreciated. I adore Maven as well; he’s a very complex character. I enjoyed how Evangeline was given her own story. She’s one of my favorite characters in the series. The chapters from her point-of-view are my favorite.

As always, I love Aveyard’s writing style.

Cameron is a great character, but—especially at the beginning—she seemed strangely obsessed with Mare. I see how this is useful for the book because otherwise, we wouldn’t get updates on our main character, but it was out of character.

Update from later. That was a sub-par review. It was mostly rambling. And this is a review of the review. But to be fair, I was half-asleep when writing this. I hope you will not judge my reviewing skills based on this one review.


Between Shades of Gray by Ruta Sepetys || 4/5

It’s 1941 and fifteen-year-old artist Lina Vilkas is on Stalin’s extermination list. Deported to a prison camp in Siberia, Lina fights for her life, fearless, risking everything to save her family. It’s a long and harrowing journey and it is only their incredible strength, love, and hope that pull Lina and her family through each day. But will love be enough to keep them alive?

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This book pulls on your heart-strings, but not as hard as other books. While the events were horrifying, the writing-style was detached and matter-of-fact. The book would’ve been more powerful if it focused more on Lina’s (the main character) emotions. Despite not being particularly emotional, the writing style was still breath-taking.

While Lina was beautifully developed, the other characters could’ve been developed more, especially her brother and mother. I would’ve liked to know more about their family bonds so I could feel the love between them instead of being told that they love each other.

Random note: I loved the nicknames Lina gave everyone. It made keeping track of the characters a lot easier (until she randomly decided to use their actual names).


Boy Meets Boy by David Levithan || 3/5

This is the story of Paul, a sophomore at a high school like no other: The cheerleaders ride Harleys, the homecoming queen used to be a guy named Daryl (she now prefers Infinite Darlene and is also the star quarterback), and the gay-straight alliance was formed to help the straight kids learn how to dance.

When Paul meets Noah, he thinks he’s found the one his heart is made for. Until he blows it. The school bookie says the odds are 12-to-1 against him getting Noah back, but Paul’s not giving up without playing his love really loud. His best friend Joni might be drifting away, his other best friend Tony might be dealing with ultra-religious parents, and his ex-boyfriend Kyle might not be going away anytime soon, but sometimes everything needs to fall apart before it can really fit together right.

This is a happy-meaningful romantic comedy about finding love, losing love, and doing what it takes to get love back in a crazy-wonderful world.

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I love the town that Levithan created, but aside from that, the book was underwhelming. The entire story revolves around teen drama, which I’m not fond of. It’s all about who’s dating who and who used to be dating.

The writing was bland, the characters seemed fake, and the plot was also bland. This may be the most meh book I’ve read.

It wasn’t bad. It just wasn’t good.


Currently readingWar Storm by Victoria Aveyard

TBR

  • It’s Kind of a Funny Story by Ned Vizzini
  • To Kill a Kingdom by Alexandra Christo
  • Children of Blood and Bone by Tomi Adeyemi
  • Fahrenheit 451 by Ray Bradbury
  • Keeper of the Lost Cities by Shannon Messenger (reread)
  • Our Dark Duet by Victoria Schwab
  • Shadow Scale by Rachel Hartman
  • When Did You See Her Last? by Lemony Snicket
  • Days of Blood and Starlight by Laini Taylor
  • Batman: Nightwalker by Marie Lu

Spring Cleaning Book Tag

Let’s all pretend that this is actually the Summer Cleaning Book Tag because I’m awful at doing tags in a timely fashion and now it’s summer.

I was tagged by the always lovely Sophia Ismaa. Everyone go to her blog and shower her with digital chocolate.


RULES

  • Please link back to Daniel @ Page to Page
  • Respond to the scenarios
  • Tag 5 people (or however many you like)

THE TAG

It’s time to make your bed, but you’re going to have some friends over later and want to pick the perfect book to place on your nightstand for them all to see that you’re “reading”. Which book do you choose?

I choose Six of Crows because I will use every opportunity to shove this book down the throats of every human being I see.

 

Oh no! The house needs dusting, but you just can’t put that book you’re reading down! What book would you buy on audio just so you could continue the story while cleaning?

It probably wouldn’t be fair to pick Six of Crows again… I’ll go with A Conjuring of Light, then. It was unputdownable. Which is definitely a word.

 

Darn it! The ceiling is leaking! Turns out Mass-Market Paperbacks are the best things to soak water up! Which popular book do you use to soak up the water?

Ready Player One because it’s my brother’s book, not mine, and I don’t really care for it either. Undeveloped minor characters, annoying lead, and boring plot is a recipe for a sacrificable book.

 

Bathrooms need a good scrubbing, and your 2007 Cosmos are a little outdated and need replacing. What book do you place in the bathroom for some light reading for when people need to take care of business?

A picture book about potty training.

 

Family is coming over, but you have no idea what to make for dinner! You read somewhere that tearing up the last chapter of a book whose ending you hated and sprinkling it in a casserole dish makes for the perfect meal! Which book do you choose?

The Book ThiefI wish the ending never happened. And if you don’t know what I”m talking about, go read the book right now.

 

Organization is key, right? When it comes time to organize your bookshelf, you realize you have enough room (and money) to get three new books! Which books do you buy?

The Perks of Being a Wallflower, Aristotle and Dante Discover the Secrets of the Universeand The False PrinceThe first two are books I’ve been planning to read for ages, but never got around to, and the third because it’s one of my favorites and I’d love to have my own copy.

 

Finally, some peace and quiet! But, before you can relax, you realize you forgot to send your Aunt a thank you gift for the lovely “ADULT LIFE FOR DUMMIES” book she gave you for Christmas (maybe she’s trying to tell you something?). What book do you send to her to show her how much (this is sarcasm) you appreciate her gift?

You know that picture book about potty training that everyone has been handling while they’re taking care of business? Yeah? That one.


I’m Tagging…