Top Five Ways To Become a Better Writer

Since I am an experienced author, who knows exactly what I’m doing, I am going share some tips with you on how you can be a better author!

1. Examine

Everything starts with examining, from social gatherings to chess to writing! Examine books that you like or have a twist ending that you didn’t see coming. Read books 24/7, making sure not to get any useful work done on your story. Read until you drop, and mean literally drop from all the things you’ve seen in books that you are incorporating into your own that are automatically now known to you as clichés!  Another thing to consider is reading Wattpad stories and fanfiction instead of actual published stories. This will give you insight on what to put in your story to make others laugh out loud at various grammatical errors.

2. Complicated Romances 

Love Triangles are the best thing of all books and should not be a cliché. Triangles are wonderful, amazing plots of indecision, stupidity, featuring a main character who is as bland as crust-less bread. In fact, there is a whole subject dedicated to triangles of love called trigonometry. Make the main character so boring and so much of a blank slate that it is a SIN. Next, make that whiteboard fall in love with someone, COS he is good-looking but terrible to other human beings. And finally, make her fall in love with another person simply because his shade of blackness in his heart is way more TAN and he is even more gorgeous! Soon, move on to geometry, with love squares, octagon, decagons and even hexa-flexa-gons!

3. Voluminous Quarrels

The applicability of elephantine colloquy within the practice of scripting for the populace is veritably uncomplicated, and will not vamoose your nonexistent congregation of devotees discombobulated at all, especially if they are the mini versions of humankind. As a statement that is proven with various experiments and evidence, it is substantiated that a chronicle containing voluminous quarrels will not be insipid or vacuous.

Phew, I’m tired of all those big words! Let’s end this fact!

4. Details

I just love details! The reader can just picture something amazing in his/her/whatever your cup of tea/yeah/this slash contains all human beings/or if happen to be an animal mind. Wasn’t that group of slashes, that wonderful, slanted, narrow, typed in flawlessly, group of slashes just include everything! This is what I needlessly, helplessly, beautifully, begrudgingly, amazingly, and crystal clearly am telling you, you nonexistent, smelly, stanky, but awesome readers! For more clarification, I will provide an example:

She opens the door passionately on the wooden floor of the room, smelling with sweaty strangers, unknown body odor, and bursting with loud music from outside, that busts into my delicate, elfish ears. The girl brushes the hair out of her face, her face, pale, white and decorated with intricate spiderwebs, made from teensy weensy strings of spider silk. Her hair is a sugary grey, not a flat, dull, insipid grey, but a warm, steamy, graceful color, that just would seem to complement the rainbow if a part of it. Her eyes are crystal clear, blue like the sea, a boundless, endless, but calm and serene sea, with her eyelashes only admiring like corals do on the surface of the sandy sand. I slowly tell her, with great anger, sorrow, with my crimson, rose, blood coursing through my veins, like a surfer on a tremendous wave of heated anxiety…

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

“5. END ON A CLIFFHANGER! (actual fifth tip will come at a later date and time)”