Mustache

I grew a mustache yesterday.

It is fun to stroke, and I think Arachnid thinks it’s pretty fancy. Or thinks I may be a man. Either one has its perks. When I look in the mirror, I fashionably twirl up my under nose hairs, like the Pringles man. He is one of my role models, with that amazing facial hair of his, twirling with no end.

The funny thing is that I have never grown such hair before, and am already a pro. Perhaps I ate too many Pringles, or am turning into a giant tarantula.

Am I the next Spooderman?

Taking care of a mustache is almost as easy as taking care of a cactus without the poky things. It is just a patch of hair, gray and messy just like the hairs on my head. Plus I don’t have to do my makeup since everyone thinks I’m a boy now.

Yesterday, I went inside the bathroom and a lady with a pink shirt and a mini human screamed. I looked inside the mini human’s lumpy underwear, checking if she had any problems. The pink lady gazed on in horror, until eventually taking her mini human away. She thought I was a man. Surely, no one would scream for a mishap in manners, right? Also, I put a pun in the last sentence. I was bathing my mustache.

Today, I am going to set my mustache free! So for the remembrance of my manly and beautiful mustache, I am making this blog post.

So I release it from its terra cotta pot and watch as it flies far away. I hope it reaches a proper owner.

Soon, I hear Arachnid yelling curses next door.

It seems as if my attachment to Arachnid has been passed on to my facial hair in a rather literal way.

 

 

 

 

Little Things I Enjoy

Here is a list. A certain someone gave me this idea.

Introducing: Little Things I Enjoy!

• Giving myself pep talks in the bathroom.
• Laughing at my own jokes.
• Putting wet socks on my forehead.
  • This the best thing ever! You guys should try it!
• Playing with the webs on my cheeks
• Twisting my hair
• Eating my hair, seemingly unknowingly
• Dramatically taking off my clothes
• Eating bananas from the other end
  • This is how monkeys eat bananas
• Making mini ubiquitous white birds with the art of origami
  • It’s my therapy
• tapping random things
• spinning random things (that can be spun)
• swallowing sticks of butter
  • They taste salty sometimes
• Staging fictional conversations with POI’s
  • I know other people do this too
• Acting like Arachnid
  • It’s really fun, glaring at people and collecting odd objects
• Looking at the dates on pennies to see if its recent
• Paying for food with Canadian Money
• Fantasizing about biting other people’s nails
  • Especially those people who have those super duper long nails in the World Records
• Scratching myself
• Pondering why I don’t consider Arachnid to be a POI
• Staring at things and imagining black holes to be there
• Doing office chair yoga poses
  • It’s also part of my therapy
• Pondering why Arachnid put me into therapy in the first place
• snapping my fingers
• People with low, deep voices
• Doing funny faces in the mirror
• cutting potato chip bags to discover if the ratio to air and chip is just right
  • I didn’t take Algebra for nothing, now did I?
• Wearing clothes at the mall then leaving them all in the changing room as decoration
• The cliche old perverted man in anime
  • They are quite relatable
• Eating rice, soup and ice cream with chopsticks
• Key changes in songs
• para-bam para-bam para-bop para-bop para-bam
• Blue dyed hair
  • I’ve been thinking about it…
• Using Sour Punch Straws (a type of candy) to drink things
• Wondering why the world hasn’t ended yet
• Petting jealous people
  • If you read my post “Dogs” you’ll see why
• Watching the effortless motion of cashiers scanning items
• People touching me
  • I feel so special!

So I guess that is it for my list. Comment the little things you like below! There is really no good way to end this… so this is the end.