Some Ramblings Concerning ze Illuminati

Ok, so let’s start with one of the most known things in triangular culture, the Doritos.

  • spicy
  • orange
  • cool-looking
  • orange dust on ze fingers
  • hotter than you

But this information does not only apply to simple Doritos—this applies to Cheetos as well. What else is connected with Cheetos? Chester the Cheetah! He is the mascot on all Cheetos bags, with a cool attitude and amazing style. In fact, if you look at this picture, you will see there isn’t a single triangle on him. This is because Chester here is not part of Illuminati, but the Circalami.  1d8f4804d65ec1d6a71e9a48c0d0aa09--rock-painting-tatoos

In 1966, Doritos were created, marking the beginning of the famously unfamous triangle society. About thirty-eight years later, Cheetos debuted. Is this a coincidence? I THINK NOT! The number three is obviously the three points of the triangle, but the eight remains a mystery. 8. The number eight is made up of two circles, but why two?

To answer this question we need to go back to Chester. Who could possibly be the second circle? Of course, it is Tony the Tiger, the mascot for Frosted Flakes!


If you look closely, you’ll see that he has black stripes on his body, in the shape of you guessed it! TRIANGLES!

What does this mean? If Tony is one of the 2 subgroups of …

Could it be? Are Doritos, Chester the Cheetah, and Tony the Tiger coming to haunt us all? This means that there are 2 subgroups, the Illuminati and the Circalami! Does this mean that they are in all one big group? Or are they rivaling sides?

All we are left with is one clue: “THEY’RE GGGGGRRRREAT!”

Let’s analyze this quote by our beloved tiger. When he says GGGGGRRRREAT is he referring to either pleasure, size, or number.

But what exactly is he referring to?

An army filled with Illuminati militants? WHAT IS HE TRYING TO SAY?

Let’s gather some evidence from this Uncyclopedia Article:

This astounding ability did not go unnoticed, and when he reached the age of 18, Tony received an invitation to attend Cambridge University. He literally leaped at the chance,[1] and was soon studying for a major in English Language. While at university, Tony’s interest in politics was heightened. He soon joined the Cambridge Debating Society, both silencing rivals and impressing veteran debaters with his quick-witted responses to the various arguments raised. In one particular debate, in which Tony was arguing for the capitalist South Korea, her allies, and their ideologies in relation to the Korean War, he felled the opposition with the one rebuke: “They’re grrrreat!” These two carefully-chosen words silenced his debating rivals and saw him go down in Cambridge history as one of the true greats of oratory,” —

By this article, carefully chosen from a reliable source, we can see that Tony the Tiger has been fighting for us all along. This is what we need. WORLD PEACE OUT!