Everything Must Fall || Short Story

Heyo, peoples!

This is a short story I wrote last year for an English assignment about 9/11 from the Twin Towers’ point-of-view.

Also, the title sucks. Do you guys have better ideas?


I stand tall above the gridded streets of New York, breathing in the smoggy air weighted on the city like a smothering blanket. The roads are choked with dust and traffic and cars and litter. But this high up, I have an unobstructed view of the clouds roaming through the blue sky and the birds flapping about.

I am the tallest in the area and I truly scrape the sky. The others jut out of the ground beneath me, like sparkling stalagmites in an urban cave. Only my twin, the one who shares my design, comes close, six feet beneath me.

From my place leaps and bounds above the tiny people, I watch the city grow and breathe. The seasons come and go, snow covering the cityscape in a layer of frosty white powder, and the lone flower pushing its way through the concrete at my feet.

Towers rise and fall. The city is always changing. Always in perpetual motion.

I feel the wind blow against my sides, trying to pull me from the ground. And I feel the rain beating down, flushing the people from the streets of my city into the protective arms of inside.

The days are sparkling and bright, the sunlight bouncing off the cresting waves in the water and the glass city. The nights are effervescent, like a glass of champagne. The people are owls, never sleeping. They roam my streets.

New York at night is a city of starlight. Like the night sky itself had descended and decided to call my city its home.

***

The day of my Collapse was unfitting for the destruction of such a lovely creation of glass and steel. The skies were a perfect blue, like the color of dreams, with puffy white clouds floating through like the sails of ships flying somewhere far away.

It was the day of Collapse and Destruction and Fire and Death. The sky should have cried for us, the fallen.

But my faithful friend, the sky, didn’t cry. He stayed bright and beautiful, hovering over the city. It was a day that shouted that nothing could go wrong.

Until the sky was choked by smoke and ashes from the burning ruins of my city, the collapsing rubble smoking and burying my people alive.

***

I don’t know if I saw the plane coming. Or if I saw it, I didn’t notice it. It was nothing special. Another bird, another plane, another cloud in the big blue sky. Planes passing overhead was a normal occurrence. It had become mundane. A routine. A fact of life.

I didn’t see it until it came too close, its wingtips blazing in the morning sun. Even if I had seen it before it was far too late, there is nothing I could’ve done but await my Collapse, for I am rooted to the ground.

I think it would’ve been harder if I had known what awaited my fate. To stand there and know what was to happen and do nothing. To be helpless in the face of demise.

***

The plane was a pinprick in the sky. Nothing but a dollop of color in the painting of the city. But it grew larger and larger as it came closer and closer. It took on the sharp teeth and claws of monsters. The horns of demons. The shadow of death. And I took the fear it doled generously like candy at a fair.

I think the first impact was the worst. See, I cannot feel pain as humans do, for I am constructed of imagination and glass and steel and I am nothing but a building. A mere structure to raise and level. But I am so much more. The people make lives inside me. Lacing my insides with love and hate and joy and tears. And although I cannot feel pain, I can feel the horror that comes with the sight of a plane crashing into me.

I feel as the steel of my spine folds into itself, folding like a sheet of paper being made into a bird. My glass shattering, raining down on the people below.

I feel the screams as the people inside of me try to flee, but they are trapped in my too-narrow stairs. I feel as they are crushed by me, the building they trusted to keep them safe from the rain.

A pillar of smoke rises into the sky, ash raining from the sky like the tears of flame. I breathe in and dust coats my insides. I watch as pieces of me fall to the streets, shattering into a million pieces and disappearing forever.

People pour from my doors. I watch them leave in masses and think of the ones still trapped in me. I can feel their hurried footsteps, their quick and frightened breaths. I urge them to go on. To leave me behind and be saved. Saved the way I know that I cannot be.

Some of the courageous fight against the river of people, struggling to get inside me. To get others outside, to the idea of safety. Even though they know that the last sky that they will ever see was full of smoke.

The fire rages, and the glass of my windows warp and twist. The glass no longer crystal and beautiful.

I thought that I would never fall. One of the only buildings in the city that the people could never bear to part with. I would live in the city forever, watching as it changed around me. But the change never touching me.

But here I am, falling. I fall in stages. Great, shuddering gasps as gravity pulls me down to the ground, from which I was so far before.

My brother collapses first. Other buildings fall around us, eaten away by the fire.

I can still hear his screams as his last breath is taken and he is nothing but a pile of rubble littering the ground. I can still hear the screams of the people that were inside him.

***

The last thing that remains in my memory is the sound of fires blazing and the sight of sirens blaring and the dust drowning the sky.


© ARACHNID WEAVER 2018

Mellow Yellow Episode 27: The Theater

JOHN and LENA are in the living room. They are eating buttered popcorn.

LENA: I like pretzels better.

JOHN: We should go see a play!

LENA: I still like pretzels better.

JOHN: There’s this new one that everyone is talking about. It’s called “Dirt Garden.”

LENA: What’s it about?

JOHN: Uhhh… I’m not entirely sure. But everyone else raves about it. Therefore we’re going to love it, too. I heard the actors are supposed to be stunning.

LENA: (Plasters an obviously fake smile on her face): They can’t be a better actor than me.

 

***

 

LENA and JOHN are at the Beans Bunny Theater and the room is darkening and the curtains are lifting as the play begins.

JOHN: Is that…?

LENA: No!

JOHN: It can’t be…

STRANGER #1 stands up. The rest of the audience is silent.

STRANGER #1 (cheering): Tick and Tock! You’re my heroes. The best actors in the business. Will you both marry me at the same time?

TOCK: Be quiet!! The show’s starting. And turn off your cell phones.

The play begins.

TICK (sobbing): Oh, my garden! All my flowers have been killed by some mysterious force! Now it’s nothing but…

A moment passes.

TICK: Nothing but…

The audience waits, at the edge of their seats. The anticipation is palpable.

TICK: Line?

TOCK (Whispering furiously): Dirt. Now it’s nothing but dirt.

The crowd is silent. TICK is silent. The whole theater is silent. TICK has fallen asleep.

TOCK: Aw $#%&!!! Get up, you stupid clod.

The curtain is quickly closed on a raging TOCK kicking a sleeping TICK.

The audience breaks into wild applause and whistles. It’s a standing ovation.

 

***

 

LENA and JOHN are talking to each other on the way out of the theater.

LENA (angry): Remind me never to listen to you ever again!

LENA stomps off in a random direction angrily.

JOHN (to himself): I thought it was magnificent.

JOHN hurries to catch up to LENA.

Mellow Yellow Episode 24: Author’s Note!

THE WEBWEAVERS are in the office of Arachnid’s Arctic Paradise deciding on what to do next for Mellow Yellow.

ARACHNID: I don’t know what to do next for Mellow Yellow… Ever since that Peeps talked, I couldn’t find any ideas!

SPINETTE: We can do a documentary on eating Yo-Yos featuring the two silent mimes!

ARACHNID: (Rubbing her hands like an evil genius) No. We need something original, something fresh, some—

SPINETTE: (hammers table with fist) Something to give Rue a purpose!

ARACHNID: Not that, Spinette!

SPINETTE (dejected): Owwwieee…

ARACHNID (ignores SPINETTE): Maybe we can bring Attendant back!

SPINETTE: I’m bored! I’m going to go look at memes, I mean… edit Outside In now.

ARACHNID: NO, YOU AREN’T GOING ANYWHERE! (pulls on SPINETTE’s shirt)

ARACHNID and SPINETTE sit there for a very long time.

SPINETTE: What if we used memes?

ARACHNID: Great idea!

 

~~~~END

Jackie Part 2

Part 1


Jackie’s POV ~~~ 4 years later

I took a crumb of bread, threw it in the fire and watched it burn. Between bites, I saw the fire dance, tendrils of the flames swirling around the scraps of wood. The smoke breathed into my bones like a dragon, and my spirits raised up a bit higher like a knight’s war call.

I like watching the fire. My mother said I got that habit from my father, and he said I got it from her. My puzzling parents, as always.

I wish it was always now.

Two candles, in a shelf by the door, one extinguished and the other desperately holding onto its light represented them. The remaining flame climbed up the wick, and fell again, raising itself back up in a continuous cycle. My father’s flame, it was, still alive after the eight years he hasn’t came back, maybe more so than ever.

Suddenly, the fire puckered up, licking the corners of the paper behind. Cautiously, I fanned the paper out, but not before the last thing I wrote on it scorched, painted a dung colored brown. September 31,—- the year was gone.

Flustered, I crumpled up the paper, snowballing it into the fire. The white tumbled into the raging orange, as the red consumed both the colors.”Phoo!” I blew out my father’s last flame. “Bye bye, mother and father .” Memories flashed by, and as always, came back to stab me in the chest, the knife cold and hard.

I slammed the door, scrambling into the grass, blades brushing against my bare ankles.

Today, the grass was a bit pointed, frozen by last night’s frost. The ground was sparsely covered at this season, but nonetheless, this was the day that Jack fought the beast a hundred or so years ago. I was just waiting for the bells to ring, when the townspeople would gather around the beanstalk, fruitful with flowers and life.

“Heyo!” Christian greeted me, grinning widely. His limp brown noodle-like hair was in a ponytail, and he was wearing a tan scumbag shirt. A bandage was taped on his cheek, newly acquired. “What’s up? Such a normal day, isn’t it?” He was trying his best to be a charmer.

“Today is the hundred and eighth anniversary of Jack slaying the giant! Did you forget?” I pulled his ear.

“It’s today?” He seemed startled, scratching his head stupidly.

“It is, you dunce!” I let him go, and he hopped like a bunny, freed from my grasp.

He hollered, “Oh boy! I can’t wait! Let’s go, Jackie!” He held my hand, racing toward the middle of the city. He ran, almost tripping me off my feet. Tendrils of his hair flew in my eyes, as I blinked rapidly, in a bewildered flurry of hair and quick wind. Soon, we were at the Beanstalk. I could see why he was, in fact, the Running Champion of the Hallows.

“Come one, come all!” The village minister welcomed the swarms of people with open arms, his blubbery form, jolly, unfitting with his outfit of dark black, “Today, we preach the powers of Jack sent by God, hundreds and hundreds of years ago!” The good-hearted man was yelling his blessings, sitting on the circular structure of smooth stone, surrounding the green plant, sprouting into the clouds.

From my place below, I saw vines swirling around the stalk, light pink flowers blooming, and as my eyes eventually climbed up to where it seared the hefty layer of puffy clouds. The scent of vanilla coated the air, my most recent favorite smell of candles. Wanting to smell more of the delicious scent, I followed my nose, landing on a precious pink flower, on the lower vines of the Beanstalk. As I went down to smell it, the petals collapsed on each other, closing its doors to its sweet center. I turned my head, as another heavy waft of vanilla flooded my senses. The flower opened back up again! Rushingly, I bounded for it again, unceremoniously greeted by an explosion of mustard pollen dust. With my face caked in yellow, I dumbly looked onto my friends in front of me. What an embarrassment!

The group of raunchy boys laughed at me, including Christian.

“Look at Jackie, smelling the flowers! Such a girly-girl, isn’t she?” Tom, the big, strong one of the group teased.

“At least I’m not as dumb as you!” I annoyingly played with his hair, “Shut up!”

“Shut up?” He was outraged, “How about you shut up!” Tom punched me the stomach, sending me flying with the blow, “You weak little girl!”

I got up to my bearings, cracking my neck, ready for a fight. This guy was not messing with me again! Gritting my teeth, I kicked his shins, confusing him. He stole a single glance at his ankles, when I delivered a solid punch to his face. He ricocheted into the rock hard stone, grunting like a caveman as he got up to his feet. Tom stared me down, his expression like a bull chasing red. From the corner of my eye, I saw bloody teeth scattered behind his large body.

“Guys! Break it up!” Christian yelled, pushing Tom away from me. His heels screeched against the dirt, dust emitting from them.

“Yeah, Tom!” Kev was on his side, cheering him on, like a little rodent. He pumped his skinny arm into the air, screaming an almost incompressible war cry, “Kill her!”

“Stop it!” Christian stopped pushing Tom. He gave us both a sly smirk, “Do you guys really want to be fighting in front of the minister?” The minister, noticing Christian’s cue, frowned at us. It was the first time I’d ever saw a negative emotion on him, and like his cloak, it certainly didn’t fit him well.

“Or…” he added, “The minister’s daughter? You know her, Kev. It looks like you’ll be her man quite soon.” For good measure, he added a high whistle.

“Really?” Kev questioned. He didn’t quite get Christian’s plan to stop our fight.

Instantly, Tom straightened, a fragile blush forming on his cheeks. I sat down, fixing my hair and brushing the yellow pigment off my face. They aren’t anything but embarrassments! I thought to myself, I couldn’t believe what Maria would do if she saw me like that! I’m so stupid! I tossed the last of the dust off my clothes, scooting to the front. All the townspeople will be here soon, so I needed to get a good, frontward seat for the storytelling. Even if I heard the story a million times, the story of the boy who killed the giant, I never got tired of it.

“You’re so funny!” Maria tapped my nose, giggling. Neatly, she folded her legs, crisscross-applesauce, hands on her knees along with a playful smile splayed on her face. Her black hair curled carefully around her chest, covering one half of her schoolgirl tie. Her glasses were large saucers, and developed bifocals from when I saw her last. “I saw the little duel you had there. And the explosion with flower dust!” A mischievous daft shone from her voice, “You like flowers, don’t you?”

“Y-y-y—yeah.” I stuttered. Staying calm in front of a rich person wasn’t easy, especially when you eat candies from the bottoms of shoes. “I do.”

“What’s wron—” Maria was interrupted by the tolling of bells, always playing the tone they do at midnight. This morning, it marked not only the noon hour, but a special ceremony as well: The 108th Storytelling of Jack, the hero of our village.


©SPINETTE SPYDER

Jackie

I saw that Arachnid was putting her story A Dreamer in the Darkness up here, so I decided to put up my story Jackie here too. I hope you enjoy it!

Giant’s POV

-Have you ever seen a giant climb down a beanstalk? No? Well, this is what I did that night… so long ago.

Found one.

The little girl scuttled away, racing through the fields, her feet making these soft taps in the dirt. The dust billowed upon my face, as I stifled a cough, hoping desperately that she did not hear me in the still sound of the night. Choo! I sniffled. Not apprehending my presence, the adolescent ran off into the village, wearing a mask of urgency and with a slight crook in her thick eyebrows displaying swallowed, compressed fear.

I crawled through the forest of trees, my giant monstrous body causing them to rattle. Leaves crunched under my hands as I hastily tried to maneuver myself, every move a hideous crash. A few paces later, I perked up, surveying a villa. It was small, quaint, with wind slipping through the cracks of sleeping huts. Then I saw her. A blast of red, then the lock of the door. Click!

Circling around the suburb, I restlessly settled myself down near the home the adolescent sneakily slid into. I looked through a window, eager for the story I was about to unravel. The girl’s eyes were wide as she flinched at each minuscule squeak. I folded my fingers together, tight, as my eager thoughts flipped to dread, waiting for what was to come next for the poor girl.

She trudged down the hall, as my curiosity went along with her, my vision darting towards the next window, inside a kitchen. The teenager was haphazardly throwing damaged pieces of silverware, opening wooden cupboards and loudly calling for someone. Seamlessly, her tension softened into concern which, of course, quickly fastened into worry.

-Humans have crazy emotions.

Her ragged breath blew in and out, fixing itself with the rhythm that the house was bouncing along with the thumps of my heart. Ta-dum, ta-dum, tad-dum. It was the only constant thing among the chaos of her crashing, clashing and screams.

“Mother!” The call was adamant.

Nothing.

Immediately, like lighting, the girl’s boots clunked up the steps. With my curiosity on full blast, I grabbed the top of the house, pulling my face closer, almost so the very tip of my nose touched the window. This one uncovered a bedroom and an older woman sleeping peacefully. I hope her daughter doesn’t disrupt her calm tranquil dreams. I swiped a quiet , calculating finger across the window, feeling the texture of smooth glass. It was new to me—- I never had felt it before.

Then a red swish flew through the door. The girl, I thought, recalling when I saw the red haired teenager enter the hut. Her cheeks were red, her hair matted with sweat, as she climbed onto the bed. She whispered something, something I couldn’t hear from the outside, so without weighing the consequences, I pressed my ear against the wall. Warningly, the house wobbled, dirt and planks falling from the roof. The girl fell on her napping mother, somehow failing to wake her up, but didn’t even gaze in my direction. Thank goodness. My shoulders fell, as I blew a gust of air from my lips, fogging up the window.

The girl’s shrieking cry emanated from the room, an incredible, incoherent cry that shook me from my head to my toes. Tinglings of the shriek vibrated in my mind, as I wiped the fog off the window, slowly unclothing the scene, my eyes progressively dilating, my brows folded in disbelief. I gasped, my fingers fanning in front of my “o” of a mouth.

The mother’s chest was scarlet with blood, a knife glinting from the wound. The mother’s blanket was thrown to the floor, and with that a terrifying secret.

-Don’t ever ask me to describe “death” of those creatures.

I ran away. Up the Beanstalk, in the middle of the town. Giant goblets of water drooped along my long, narrow face, flicking themselves off my jaw, wetting my hair and chest. I clutched at my breasts, thankful that I still have mine. Remorsefully, I took one last look of the village. It was so beautiful, with eerie hidden horrors lurking inside, a world of stars never seen above the clouds. I was so sorry I had to leave so soon.

A early rising lumberjack yakked at my appearance. He withdrew his axe, quickening my departure.


Part 2


©SPINETTE SPYDER

A Dreamer in the Darkness: Part 3 (Short Story)

Part 1

Part 2


I’m curled up on the cold, cement floor of a small, windowless room in the basement. After Blue left, Shabby pulled me inside, his grip even tighter than Blue’s, and shut the door. I tried to memorize the stars. It felt like the last time I’d see the sky. He didn’t talk to me at all, he just shoved me in this little room and left. I didn’t get any food and my stomach is growling.

I have nightmares when I finally fall into the darkness that has been tugging on me, tearing me to shreds.

 

Three days have passed, and I’ve started to fall into a routine. Twice a day, I’m given bowls of cold oatmeal that slide down my throat like an eel. It’s always slipped in through a panel on the door. The food is disgusting, but I still eat it. Every other time I’m given food, I make a nick on my sword with a rusty nail I found to keep track of the days that have passed. There’s a small bathroom attached to this room where I bathe and get my water. My sword is always clutched tightly in my hand.

No one has come to rescue me. I burst into tears quite often. Obviously, I’m upset I’m still here, but I’m more upset that I didn’t tell Mother and Father that I love them before they left. I can’t help but think that was goodbye forever and I did it wrong.

Once, a long time ago, Mother told me, “Don’t ever get into a stranger’s car.” I forgot and I’m cursing myself.

 

It’s my birthday today. I’m finally actually six. My sword tells me three months have passed. I cannot remember the color of Father’s eyes or the smell of Mother’s hair, but my tears have dried up. There’s nothing left. I’m having trouble sleeping. Whatever brief moments of rest I do manage to capture are plagued by dreams of dark shapes that try to steal me away and rip me apart as Mother and Father watch. There are tears, but nothing can be done.

 

I’ve been staring at the wall for a few minutes, or possibly a couple hours, when I hear the door open. The sound claws at my ears until they bleed scarlet and I drown in my moon-warmed blood.

I don’t turn around, so Shabby walks across the room until he’s in front of the wall. I haven’t seen another human in around 94 days. Shabby doesn’t quite fit his name anymore. He’s in much better hygiene. He’s taken a shower and cut his hair and shaved and his teeth are still white and straight. He’s wearing new clothing.

He smiles at me in a way that tells me I’ve just seen evil’s face. It’s so much worse than poisoned candy. He’s hiding something behind his back and won’t let me see it. I don’t think I want to.

“I’ve drained all the ransom money I could from your dear parents, so you’re of no use to me anymore,” he sneers. He sees a treasure to take when he looks at me. I shiver.

He steps forward and his smile is scary and I don’t know what he’s got behind his back and I’m scared. I scream and swing my sword.

My left-hand shudders as the sword hits his head and he stumbles, tripping over a crate, and he falls and groans. What was in his hand has fallen and it’s a gun.

I freeze, but I have to act now, before he can hurt me. I run forward, fast enough that you cannot see anything of me but my essence, and I grab the keys to my dungeon from a hook on Shabby’s pocket. He lunges at me, but he’s disoriented and I’m fast and I skitter out of his way, but I stumble and fall to the cold stone floor. I scramble up and hurry to the thick door trapping me here, away from the moon, and shove the key into the hole and dart outside and slam the door shut behind me, locking Shabby inside. I can feel the vibrations through the door as he bangs on it.

I run up the stairs to the main floor and I make it as far as the porch when my knees give up and the tears come. They don’t stop until water fills my lungs and steals all my air, but Mother isn’t here and Shabby’s in the basement and I have to get far away. I clutch my sword and I dry my tears on my dirty sleeve and I march on.

The house isn’t in the middle of nowhere. It’s in a tiny neighborhood and there are street lights and other signs of life. Really, the house looks like every other house here, even though it’s actually a prison.

I’ve been walking for awhile when I see another person at a street corner, and I quicken my pace despite my dying muscles. As I approach the man on the corner, I slow down. Can I trust him? But then I see he’s wearing a uniform and he has a sirencar next to him. He’s an officer. Mother says that I can trust officers above all other adults. They don’t count as strangers. I’m still wary. I’ve learned my lesson.

I tap his elbow and he glances down at me and stares.

“I’ve just run away from a dungeon,” I tell him, pointing at the direction from which I’ve come. “There’s a man who stole me and he tried to hurt me with a gun.”

He blinks three more times then says in an awed voice, “You’re Sam Warner. Everyone thought you were dead.” But I am clearly alive.

 

The officer said something into his walkie-talkie and more officers came. They asked me to tell them what the house and Shabby and Blue looked like. Now, I’m in the backseat of a sirencar with a dark-haired officer lady. She says she’s going to bring me to my parents.

***

Mother, Father, and I sit by the fireplace and we watch the snowflakes drift outside like puffy miniature clouds. I sip my hot chocolate, burning my tongue. I love it anyway.


© ARACHNID WEAVER 2018

Mellow Yellow Episode 21: True Love

TICK, TOCK, ARA, and CHLOE are at a diner, waiting to be served.

CHLOE: We are just throw away characters! We have no story!

ARA: Except Mellow Yellow, I guess. I was in Outside In for a very short period of time.

TICK and TOCK: So… are we here to organize your next debut?

CHLOE (nodding): Yes.

ARA: But I’m dead!

CHLOE: I could bring you back to life with true love’s kiss! And it’ll be with a sunset and flamingos and gummy worms and dramatic lighting.

ARA (Catching on): OOoooh with stars too! (bumping TOCK’s shoulder) I’ve heard that you make a great star.

TOCK: I guess I am

CHLOE: And since the sun IS a star, you can be the sun too!

TOCK: Wait. That won’t fit into the story… It’ll be too cheesy.

TICK: Not to mention the mouth to mouth tension.

ARA: We don’t have to debut in Downside Up. I mean, we can always go to Ned the Narwhal, right?

CHLOE: NEIGH! WE’LL BECOME HORSES!

ARA: So… not Ned the Narwhal. How about SOSP?

CHLOE: I do approve, but did you like my pun? It was hilarious! (Laughing at own joke)

ARA: What pun?

CHLOE smashes ARA into a conveniently placed brick wall

CHLOE (ugly crying): ARA! WHY DIDN’T YOU GET MY JOKE? HOW COULD YOU?

(starts eating Tic Tacs)

TICK and TOCK look at each other with questionable faces.

RUE walks up to the table sporting a suit and tie.

RUE (In a silent French accent): Hello, good madames! Here is what you ordered! (Puts down plates and plates of shrimp sticks, red velvet wall cake, and little pieces of LENA’s rotten baloney)

TICK: Thank you, waiter. As you see our guests are a bit… emotional no— (Goes to sleep) ZZZZZ

RUE shrugs and walks away.

Suddenly JAY rushes up to the table.

JAY: Sorry, I’m late! (gobbles up some shrimp) So… when and where is the new debut of ours?

TOCK: Haven’t decided. (Rolls eyes at ARA and CHLOE) And you actually have working emotions!

JAY: Yeah. I got them fixed by MANAGER OPPA. So when is the debut?

TOCK: They said they wanted it in Ned the Narwhal with a sunset, flamingos, gummy worms, dramatic lighting, and stars. Ara will come back to life with a true love’s kiss and you will probably just be awkwardly standing there, censoring the mouth to mouth tension.

JAY: What part of the story? How long are we in it?

TOCK: Maybe just a sentence. In the middle. I’ll type it up once I get home.

JAY, CHLOE, and ARA: JUST A SENTENCE!?

TOCK: It’s important to be a necessity to the plot.

CHLOE: What if we are the judge’s three children? And Ara is from Earth so she can’t marry me legally. But the judge wants me to be happy, but he cannot break the law, so he sends me to Earth! And then on Earth, we kiss in front of a sunset once finding each other on the vast land!

TICK (awake from her slumber): GREAT IDEA!

TOCK: That will definitely be written into the story!

CHLOE and ARA: Hooray!

JAY: What about me?

TICK (ignoring JAY): I guess it’s settled.

JAY: WHAT ABOUT MEEEEE?

 

~~~END

 

*THis is AN Epilogue, oh WoW im sMarT*

TICK: So, Author, will Chloe, Ara, and Jay make a comeback?

AUTHOR: NEVER!

LICORICE: (running away) AAAAAH! SOME EARTHLINGS ARE KISSING IN FRONT OF THE SUNSET! THEY ARE CAUSING A SCENE! UNICORNIA IS BREAKING!

TICK: Really? WHOA!

TOCK: (Taking TICK’s chin in her hand) I wonder if we kiss now if the whole world would implode!

LICORICE: DON’T DO IT!

The world becomes a black hole

AUTHOR: THE SHIP HAS FINALLY SAILED! (ship sails in distance)

JAY: They’re sisters remember!? The line that you put on that family tree was a mistake!

AUTHOR (with dread): What have I done?

 

~~~END

 

A Dreamer in the Darkness: Part 2 (Short Story)

Part 1


I stare at him. My mind has gone blank. Mother and Father are so strong. Who could hurt them? There’s urgency in his eyes. He keeps glancing around my house and then back outside. I can tell he’s in a hurry to get going. He’s an adult. I can trust adults, so he must be telling the truth, and my parents are in danger. I still haven’t grasped this impossible possibility.

“I’ll be a moment,” I say. “I need to grab something to help.” He gestures for me to be quick.

I run upstairs and rummage through my toy chest, scattering my things throughout my room. I find what I need and tug it out. It’s a wooden sword Father made last summer after he read The Three Musketeers to me.

As I’m walking down the sweeping staircase, I notice the man reaching toward the oil painting on the wall. I slow down for a moment, but I shake away any doubts. He’s an adult, and adults always do what’s right.

Father says I walk like a cat, my steps near-silent, but now I stomp down the rest of the stairs. The man is startled, but he quickly collects himself. He clears his throat and says, “Shall we go, Sam?” For a fleeting moment, I wonder how he knows my name. I tell myself it’s nothing.

 

His car is a couple houses down from mine. He could’ve parked it closer; it’s not as if we have guests over in the middle of the night. The man’s car is a rusty truck with two rows of seats. It looks like his clothing: old and well-used.

The man opens the back door and motions for me to get inside. I stare at him. He looks at me like I’m insane and asks, scowling slightly, “What?” He’s getting more hurried. I can tell by the way his brow is furrowed. He keeps glancing left and right.

“There’s no car seat,” I say.

“Car seats aren’t important,” he replies. I disagree, but I’m not supposed to talk back. I get into the car, but without a car seat, I can’t see out the window. It’s too high up.

We drive for twenty minutes and it seems like the man, who I’ve decided to call Blue for his clothing, is trying to hit every pothole in the road. Each bump and break is jarring and I slam against the seat belt. I shove my sword inside my jacket to protect it from the rough ride.

When we finally stop, Blue opens the car door and my eyes trace up the long gravel drive to a ghostly house in the midst of nothing. The vinyl is a putrid shade of gray, like a graveyard’s tears. I look at Blue, bewildered, and say, “This isn’t the restaurant.” My parents had taken me there with them before. It was nice with flickering candles and a sweet smell, although I never found out what the scent was.

Blue ignores me and grabs my forearm. He’s hurting me, but I fail to wriggle from his grasp. I have to half-run to keep up with Blue’s long strides as he leads me up the long gravel drive.

 

I stumble on the porch steps, but Blue yanks me forward. He pounds on the door, so hard I’m surprised his fist doesn’t go through the frail wood. When no one answers, he knocks on the door again, this time so loud that I would shield my ears if Blue weren’t holding my arm so tightly.

The door is opened by a glowering man who’s even shabbier than Blue. He’s narrow and he’s got long and scraggly hair that’s in dire need of a brush. When his grayish eyes find my face, the frown disappears and is replaced with a crooked grin. His teeth are extremely white and they clash with the rest of him. I decide to call him Shabby in my head.

Shabby is still looking at me and I shrink under his searing gaze. He asks Blue, “Is this the Warner kid?” Blue nods and Shabby gives him money.

Blue hands me to Shabby then heads down the long gravel drive and gets in his truck and drives away. I suddenly want him to come back. I want him to take me back to evil Emmica.

Part 3


© Arachnid Weaver 2018

Mellow Yellow Episode 21: Revenge

TICK is braiding her hair, humming Rawr.

JOHN: Why are you humming that?

TICK: Hmm?

JOHN: Why are you humming that―that disgrace instead of California Gurls?

TICK: What’s a gurl?

JOHN: Well, it’s like a mashup of girl and hurl. It really is quite obvious. I’m almost surprised you couldn’t figure that out on your own.

TICK shrugs lazily.

JOHN: And no one knows what Cali―

TICK (angry): I didn’t ask you what California is. I know what it is, anyway.

JOHN: (jaw drops) You―you know what California is?

TICK: (Shrugs. Says nonchalantly while unbraiding her hair) Yes. That’s what I just said. It’s an area of land, called a state, in another country in an alternate universe where the writer of the song is from.

JOHN doesn’t believe her and walks away, shaking his head in an attempt to remove this insanity

TICK braids her hair again

TOCK enters and stands silently in the doorway for fourteen minutes and 32 seconds before leaving again.

TICK is unbraiding her hair when she hears a doorbell. She opens it and calls over her shoulder

TICK: Quinn! It’s for you!

QUINN walks in and yelps

QUINN: Yelp

An army of bread sandwich ghosts led by BREAD SNADWHICH III converge on QUINN and he is never seen from again

 

~~~~END

 

A Dreamer in the Darkness: Part 1 (Short Story)

Hey guys! I recently wrote a short story, but it’s far too long to put in one post because humans have short attention spans, so I’m going to break it up into a couple parts. As you are reading it, the beginning may tickle your memory because I did post the first page or so when the story was still a fledgling, but now it has been completed and is somewhat different.


Ihug my blue teddy bear, Zachy, tightly as my parents prepare to leave. Mother says his name is actually Zachary, but my little two-year-old tongue couldn’t say so many syllables and he became Zachy from then on.I like “Zachary” much better. It sounds more refined, but Zachy will forever be “Zachy.” It’s too late to change it.

My parents are going on a date tonight. I asked them not to. It’s cold and cloudy tonight, and I can tell I’m going to have nightmares. Father said I’m a strong boy and as long as I have Zachy and Emmica I can do anything. I said I’d be brave for him.

Mother hands Emmica, my babysitter, some money. She smiles at them. Her smile is like poisoned candy. I don’t like her, but my parents think she is lovely. Mother says to trust Emmica, that she’ll always do what’s best for me.

Emmica is a pretty girl, like the kind you see on TV. She has straight, white teeth and green eyes and dark brown hair. One streak is pink and blue. I haven’t figured out how she makes her hair colorful. I’ve tried concentrating, but my hair has not turned orange yet. My floppy yellow hair always stays floppy and yellow no matter how much I try to change it.

My parents hug me and then leave. I flinch as the door slams, locking me inside with Emmica. As soon as the front door is shut, Emmica’s pleasant smile morphs into a scowl. I grimace. She doesn’t like to be here, but she also loves to collect money. She says, her voice sweet, “If you need anything, I’ll be at Izzy’s,” and heads out the door. I flinch again as it closes.

I gape at where she used to be. I don’t think Emmica is supposed to leave me alone, as I’m only five—nearly six—and children are always supposed to be with someone older. I’ll tell Mother about her when they get back. Maybe then I’ll get a new babysitter who has a pleasant smile.

Izzy lives close by and Emmica likes her much more than me. I don’t like Izzy. Sometimes, she plays loud music at night and makes it hard to sleep. I can feel it echo in my bones.

Emmica has never left before, and I’m alone for the first time. Usually, she never pays attention to me, but she stays with me. I’m scared, but I’m almost six. I can do things by myself and I’m strong.

I’m hungry. I may be almost-six and I may be able to do things by myself and I may be strong, but I cannot cook. It’s already an hour past my dinner time and the door doesn’t open. Mother gave Emmica a key a few weeks ago, so she shouldn’t need my help to come inside.

I’m at war with myself. I want to find Emmica because I want food, but I’m not supposed to leave by myself. My hunger wins. I grab my sweater and a set of keys from the closet and I head outside. My friend, the moon, is hidden by heavy clouds that hang low in the dark sky. A biting breeze blows litter and dead leaves across my feet. I shiver.

I walk down the porch steps and the driveway until I’m on the sidewalk. I run, unsettled by the night, next door to Izzy’s house and ring the doorbell. Nobody answers. The music is playing today and I can feel the porch shaking under my feet. I count 120 seconds then ring the bell again. There are neon lights in the windows behind the curtains.

This time Emmica answers. The door flies open and she leans against the frame. There’s a fading smirk on her electric-blue lips and her eyes are glittering. She’s wearing a short maroon dress and shoes that make her look like a giraffe. I have to tilt my head back to see her face. Music pounds behind her and I can hear people shouting.

“Well?” she asks. The happiness has drained from her face and has been replaced with her usual expression. It looks like she’s eaten a sour grape.

“I’m hungry.”

She smiles that ugly smile and says, “You’re a smart boy, Sammy, right? You can figure it out.” I wince. No one but Mother is allowed to call me Sammy.

She slams the door in my face.

Emmica told me I could figure this out. I look at my kitchen and think it’s improbable.I’m not allowed to touch the knives or the oven or the microwave and I don’t know how to cook.

I open the refrigerator and scan its contents. There’s milk, but I can’t make cereal since the milk jug is too heavy for me to lift. The freezer is too high for me to reach and I’m not supposed to stand on the chairs since I fell one time and broke my arm.

The clock says it’s past my bedtime. I sigh, giving the kitchen one last long look before heading upstairs to brush my teeth and head to bed.

I spit into the sink and when I look up, I see that I’m frowning, so I make a silly face and smile. Smiling is so much more pleasant than frowning unless you smile like Emmica.

I’ve just slid between the freezingcovers when the doorbell rings. It must be Emmica. She’d want to return before Mother and Father come back, but she has a key. She shouldn’t need to ring the bell, but maybe she left her key at home.

I slip out of bed and pad down the stairs, but I stop before reaching the door. Usually, Mother or Father answers the door and they always look through the peephole, but I can’t reach it without standing on a chair. But if it’s Emmica and she doesn’t have a key I need to open the door for her because she can’t spend the next three or four hours on the porch and I need her to make me food.

The door bows open and it isn’t Emmica standing on the other side of the threshold. The street lamp on the far side of the road flickers, turning the tall man in front of me into a shadow. He takes up too much space.I have to take a step back to breathe.

The street lamp flickers for a bit longer, caught between light and darkness. It chooses darkness, but the light from inside casts a warm glow on the man’s face.

“Hello,” I say. It comes out meeker than I intended, so I try again, stronger.

The man is strangely dressed in a baby blue suit. Father always wears black or white, or if he’s feeling spontaneous, a color like vanilla pudding. The suit is sharp and creased in all the right places, but it’s old. It’s worn so thoroughly in some places there’s only thread and I can almost see his white shirt beneath. The edges of the sleeves are frayed enough that it looks like he’s decided to tape his dog’s shed fur to the edges of his sleeves. The man doesn’t have a beard, but he doesn’t not have a beard either.

He says, “Quick, come with me, Sam. Your parents are in danger. Only you can save them.”

Part 2


© Arachnid Weaver 2018

A Challenge

Dear nonexistent readers,

Due to the impending doom and sneaky approach of midterms, it seems as though the days have inexplicably shrunk.

Apologies to all who have been here long enough to have read this post before, but I will be reposting an old post.

Authors are the ultimate problem-solvers. Think about it. They have solutions to everything, both possible and impossible, outside and inside of the imagination. How many narrow escapes have your favorite characters made? Daring last-minute rescues?

Every narrow escape and every daring last-minute rescue was planned and executed (with a pen) by the author.

They wrap up loose ends with a bow for their livings! There is no problem that an author cannot solve.

How many times have you stayed awake late into the night, biting your nails as you are sure that your slippery favorite character has finally met circumstances out of his or her unlimited capabilities? How sure were you that this was your slippery favorite character’s horrible demise? How many snotty tears of grief did you cry for your slippery favorite character’s inevitable end?

But how many times did your slippery favorite character reveal a complex plan to save them all that has been brewing since the first page? Or how many times did unexpected help arrive at the last moment?

The answer to this, dear nonexistent reader, is every single time because your favorite slippery character was slippery enough to slip through the cracks of the slippery pickle.

But you must remember, dear nonexistent reader, that an author not only solves the problem but creates the problem in the first place. Thus, the author can always create a solution because they, unlike the poor, slippery main character, can change the problem.

In an underground cell, deep under the ground with no possible means of escape, the author can provide the slippery main character with a bobby pin in his or her hair and the skills necessary to pick a lock.

On the brink of starvation, the author can provide the slippery main character with a bow and arrows and the skills necessary to hunt. (Or a gourmet meal prepared by an excellent chef could mysteriously appear on his or her slippery doorstep.)

So I challenge you, dear nonexistent reader, to solve this unsolvable problem. I challenge you, dear nonexistent reader, to save the slippery main character from his inevitable demise.

Character had never been trapped before. He had unlimited power and unending skill. He could do anything and everything the first time with utter perfection. But now, now he was trapped and he did not know what to do. His mind was blank. All the ideas that normally fought for space in his head had suddenly disappeared.

His arms were bound to his sides with iron bands. His legs were locked together similarly. He was trapped in a coffin-like steel box, sealed completely, except for five nickel-sized holes above his head for air, through which water was steadily trickling in.

The water was up to his wrists already, and it was so, so cold. No one knew where he was, where he could be. No one would’ve looked for him anyway.

A single thought bloomed like a golden crystal of snow in his otherwise empty mind, I am going to meet my inevitable demise…

Books I’ve Read This Year

I’ve been keeping track of the books I’ve read since last summer, but since that would take far too long to type, I’m only going to present you with the books that I’ve read this year.

  1. Fablehaven: Keys to the Demon Prison
  2. Hunter
  3. Storybound
  4. Elite
  5. Serafina and the Twisted Staff
  6. The Unwanteds Island of Fire
  7. Story’s End
  8. The Graveyard Book
  9. The Glass Sentence
  10. Red Queen
  11. Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone
  12. Glass Sword
  13. King’s Cage
  14. Moving Target
  15. Percy Jackson and the Lightning Theif (I hated this one)
  16. The Unwanteds Island of Legends
  17. Story Thieves Secret Origins
  18. The Golden Specific
  19. Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets
  20. Return Fire
  21. The Unwanteds Island of Shipwrecks
  22. Dragonwatch
  23. The Crimson Skew
  24. Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban
  25. Throne of Glass
  26. The Unwanteds Island of Graves
  27. Fairy Tale Reform School: Tricked (didn’t like this one)
  28. The False Prince (Amazing!!!)
  29. The Finisher
  30. Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire
  31. The Assassin’s Blade
  32. Wing and Claw: Cavern of Secrets (didn’t like this one either, but I think younger audiences would enjoy it)
  33. Crown of Midnight
  34. Omega City
  35. Masterminds: Payback
  36. The Runaway King
  37. The Keeper
  38. The Hunger Games
  39. The Thickety: The Last Spell
  40. Bad News
  41. Catching Fire
  42. Max Crumbly Middle School Mayhem
  43. Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix
  44. Mockingjay
  45. Heir of Fire
  46. The Selection
  47. The Shadow Throne
  48. The Elite
  49. Matched
  50. A Court of Thorns and Roses (Strongly disliked this one. Read the sequel because I liked Rhysand)
  51. Queen of Shadows
  52. Omega City: The Forbidden Fortress (wasn’t nearly as good as its predecessor. Should’ve been a standalone)
  53. Crossed
  54. Paperweight (I haven’t made up my mind on this one. I didn’t like it, but I’m glad I read it)
  55. Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince
  56. The Fault in our Stars 
  57. We Were Liars
  58. The One
  59. The Land of Stories Worlds Collide
  60. The Heir (I liked the original trilogy of The Selection Series much better)
  61. Serafina and the Splintered Heart (It was a struggle to finish this one)
  62. Empire of Storms (The ending!!!)
  63. Happily Ever After
  64. Shadow and Bone (This one was meh. I didn’t really like it that much. But I want to read Six of Crows so much!!)
  65. The Unwanteds Island of Dragons
  66. A Court of Mist and Fury (Sooo much better than its predecessor. Go Rhysand!!!)
  67. The Crown
  68. Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows
  69. Keeper of the Lost Cities
  70. The Help
  71. The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-Time
  72. Red Queen
  73. Siege and Storm
  74. The School for Good and Evil
  75. Keeper of the Lost Cities Exile
  76. The Unwanteds Quests Dragon Captives

Have you read any of these books? What did you think of them?

The Underside

I’ve been working on this story for about a year.

I’ve got a page-and-a-half finished.

*face-palm*

It’s true that I haven’t really been working on it…

I got around twenty pages done, but then I decided to change the entire plot. So the second time, I actually mapped out what I wanted to happen, but that was tiring. So about a month later, I wrote a page-and-a-half of it, which is pretty impressive, considering how lazy I am.

It’s on Wattpad too, which I just tried for the first time. It was an interesting experience. I’m hoping it’ll spur me to write more of it.

So I present to you a page-and-a-half of The Underside:

 

I stare at the lunch tray before me. Specifically, at the tuna sandwich. It used to be Sam’s favorite. I push the tray away, refusing to eat it, but I can’t tear my eyes away from it. I turn to Xera beside me, chirping away about who-knows-what.

“I’m sorry. I didn’t catch that,” I say, prompting her to repeat whatever she had said.

She glares at me and says, “Do you want me to repeat the entire thing or just the last five minutes?”

I blink at her.

“Nevermind, it wasn’t important anyway, Zack.”

This happens way too much nowadays. I can’t focus on anything. I suppose I should get used to it. I poke her in the side. “Come on, tell me.”

“No, you wouldn’t want to hear it anyway.”

I freeze and withdraw, knowing exactly what she is talking about. The Venture to Inbetween. Everyone knows that the world is flat. That there are two sides. This side, the Aboveworld, and the Underside. No one really knows what’s on the Underside, but we know it exists.

And then there’s Inbetween. It’s beyond Earth, but unlike the Aboveworld and the Underside, Inbetween is a myth, nothing but the ramblings of delusional people, but two of those delusional people are Xera’s parents. They left her to go to Inbetween when she was six and now she lives with her aunt and uncle. In a few days, Xera’s going to sail off the Edge to find something that isn’t real. And she’s going to die.

I look at my lunch and memories of the car crash that killed my brother come to mind. I remember it with painful clarity. I can never forget, thanks to my horrifying photographic memory. So I look to my right and find myself staring into the eyes of my almost-dead best friend. A groan escapes my lips and I close my eyes, unwilling to face the misery that is my world.

 

***

 

A few days passed without mention of Inbetween after that terrible lunch. I’d spent the rest of the day hungry, but I was still glad I hadn’t eaten that sandwich.

The sun paints shadows of the towering trees on the forest floor, twigs and leaves crunching underfoot as our class walks through the woods, Mr. Paisley identifying the different trees and birds. I can’t pay attention, my mind refuses to think of anything other than the fact that Xera is leaving tomorrow. I haven’t spoken to her all day. I’m afraid if I open my mouth while she’s in sight, she’ll figure out how much I want her to stay, but I don’t want to make this any more difficult for her than it already is.

I glance at the puffy white clouds, but they all look like headstones or screaming children. I shake my head and focus on the grass, only looking up when the students grow silent, waiting for something, probably me.

“He asked you what kind of bird that one is,” Xera whispered next to me, gesturing subtly at the bird Mr. Paisley was talking about.

“Oh,” I say distractedly. “It’s a Baeolophus bicolor, or more commonly, a tufted titmouse.” As the words leave my mouth, everything I know about the bird floods to the forefront of my mind. I shake my head again to clear it. It never seems to stay empty anymore. I sigh heavily and return to watching the sun play with the grass.

 

 

What do you think?

Top Five Ways To Become a Better Writer

Since I am an experienced author, who knows exactly what I’m doing, I am going share some tips with you on how you can be a better author!

1. Examine

Everything starts with examining, from social gatherings to chess to writing! Examine books that you like or have a twist ending that you didn’t see coming. Read books 24/7, making sure not to get any useful work done on your story. Read until you drop, and mean literally drop from all the things you’ve seen in books that you are incorporating into your own that are automatically now known to you as clichés!  Another thing to consider is reading Wattpad stories and fanfiction instead of actual published stories. This will give you insight on what to put in your story to make others laugh out loud at various grammatical errors.

2. Complicated Romances 

Love Triangles are the best thing of all books and should not be a cliché. Triangles are wonderful, amazing plots of indecision, stupidity, featuring a main character who is as bland as crust-less bread. In fact, there is a whole subject dedicated to triangles of love called trigonometry. Make the main character so boring and so much of a blank slate that it is a SIN. Next, make that whiteboard fall in love with someone, COS he is good-looking but terrible to other human beings. And finally, make her fall in love with another person simply because his shade of blackness in his heart is way more TAN and he is even more gorgeous! Soon, move on to geometry, with love squares, octagon, decagons and even hexa-flexa-gons!

3. Voluminous Quarrels

The applicability of elephantine colloquy within the practice of scripting for the populace is veritably uncomplicated, and will not vamoose your nonexistent congregation of devotees discombobulated at all, especially if they are the mini versions of humankind. As a statement that is proven with various experiments and evidence, it is substantiated that a chronicle containing voluminous quarrels will not be insipid or vacuous.

Phew, I’m tired of all those big words! Let’s end this fact!

4. Details

I just love details! The reader can just picture something amazing in his/her/whatever your cup of tea/yeah/this slash contains all human beings/or if happen to be an animal mind. Wasn’t that group of slashes, that wonderful, slanted, narrow, typed in flawlessly, group of slashes just include everything! This is what I needlessly, helplessly, beautifully, begrudgingly, amazingly, and crystal clearly am telling you, you nonexistent, smelly, stanky, but awesome readers! For more clarification, I will provide an example:

She opens the door passionately on the wooden floor of the room, smelling with sweaty strangers, unknown body odor, and bursting with loud music from outside, that busts into my delicate, elfish ears. The girl brushes the hair out of her face, her face, pale, white and decorated with intricate spiderwebs, made from teensy weensy strings of spider silk. Her hair is a sugary grey, not a flat, dull, insipid grey, but a warm, steamy, graceful color, that just would seem to complement the rainbow if a part of it. Her eyes are crystal clear, blue like the sea, a boundless, endless, but calm and serene sea, with her eyelashes only admiring like corals do on the surface of the sandy sand. I slowly tell her, with great anger, sorrow, with my crimson, rose, blood coursing through my veins, like a surfer on a tremendous wave of heated anxiety…

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

5. END ON A CLIFFHANGER! (actual fifth tip will come at a later date and time)” 

 

Stuffs

Hello, dear nonexistent readers.

I’ve tried my hand at Wattpad, which was interesting.

I’m working on a story called The Underside, so make sure to check it out here.

Zack can’t handle it anymore. His brother is dead and still haunting him and his best friend is going to sail off the Edge of the Earth to find her long-lost parents and he will never see her again. He thinks that his life can’t get any worse when he’s sucked into the mythical Underside and he can’t find his way back.
Kaz’s life is bitter, but he’s used to it. It’s always been that way. Until one day, everything turns around and he finds himself in another world. But this world isn’t perfect either.

A Celebration

Wonderful pineapples, dear nonexistent readers.

I would like to announce the one-monthaversary of our first book, Slugventures: The Adventures of a Slug.

To celebrate, Spinette and I will be hosting an imaginary party. Spinette wanted to invite multiple people, but I later stole the invitations from the post office we agreed that we only need my spiders and my cactus for the party to be a blast. But I did grudgingly agree to invite Ned the Narwhal, as well. [Check out Ned’s blog here. (Spinette types them as Ned only possesses flippers and is lacking in the finger department, and fingers are necessary for typing purposes.)]

So I present *drumroll* OUR FIRST BOOK!!!:

 

Slugventures is the documentation of the adventures of a certain slug named PeeWee who is racing to save the Unicornian race from the perils of imprisonment.
He is racing against a similarly named slug, PeaWea, who is the definition of evil (according to certain dictionaries). PeaWea is determined to expose the secret of the unicorns and doom them to lives behind iron bars.
PeeWee is assisted only by a set of various acquaintances: a unicorn, another unicorn, a dog, another dog (who is special), a fly (who is really more of a nuisance), and a snail.
They travel to the farthest reaches of space and traverse the Earth, hunting for a way to save the world and Unicornia, the land of the unicorns, from PeaWea.

Little Things I Enjoy

Here is a list. A certain someone gave me this idea.

Introducing: Little Things I Enjoy!

  • Giving myself pep talks in the bathroom.
  • Laughing at my own jokes.
  • Putting wet socks on my forehead.
    • This the best thing ever! You guys should try it!
  • Playing with the webs on my cheeks
  • Twisting my hair
  • Eating my hair, seemingly unknowingly
  • Dramatically taking off my clothes
  • Eating bananas from the other end
    • This is how monkeys eat bananas
  • Making mini ubiquitous white birds with the art of origami
    • It’s my therapy
  • tapping random things
  • spinning random things (that can be spun)
  • swallowing sticks of butter
    • They taste salty sometimes
  • Staging fictional conversations with POI’s
    • I know other people do this too
  • Acting like Arachnid
    • It’s really fun, glaring at people and collecting odd objects
  • Looking at the dates on pennies to see if its recent
  • Paying for food with Canadian Money
  • Fantasizing about biting other people’s nails
    • Especially those people who have those super duper long nails in the World Records
  • Scratching myself
  • Pondering why I don’t consider Arachnid to be a POI
  • Staring at things and imagining black holes to be there
  • Doing office chair yoga poses
    • It’s also part of my therapy
  • Pondering why Arachnid put me into therapy in the first place
  • snapping my fingers
  • People with low, deep voices
  • Doing funny faces in the mirror
  • cutting potato chip bags to discover if the ratio to air and chip is just right
    • I didn’t take Algebra for nothing, now did I?
  • Wearing clothes at the mall then leaving them all in the changing room as decoration
  • The cliche old perverted man in anime
    • They are quite relatable
  • Eating rice, soup and ice cream with chopsticks
  • Key changes in songs
  • para-bam para-bam para-bop para-bop para-bam
  • Blue dyed hair
    • I’ve been thinking about it…
  • Using Sour Punch Straws (a type of candy) to drink things
  • Wondering why the world hasn’t ended yet
  • Petting jealous people
    • If you read my post “Dogs” you’ll see why
  • Watching the effortless motion of cashiers scanning items
  • People touching me
    • I feel so special!

So I guess that is it for my list. Comment the little things you like below! There is really no good way to end this… so this is the end.

 

 

Hugs!

For a Mini-Wheats cereal box like me, hugging is pretty hard, and I mean that literally. People are like, “Why are you so hard? I thought tall people were like pillows!”

“That is for reasons unknown,” I say. Then they storm away. (HOH HOH IT RHYMES)

So today, I have made a blog post dedicated to hugs! To start, there are three types of hugs:

1.Side Hugs- These hugs are for the side, obviously.

2. Bear Hugs- These hugs are not for bears specifically but can be used for them. It is most commonly used for germaphobes and Arachnid.

3. Fancy Hugs- These hugs are fancy, for fancy people. They are quite advanced.

I’ll first go over the side hugs! Side hugs are used for movie nights, looking at the sunset, and to trigger awkward situations. These hugs are best for pictures, sitting, and choking your victim to death in a subtle way. Make sure to smell their collarbones to ensure they feel like they have the attention they need. Plus, that may add more ideas for compliments!

Now, for bear hugs. Bear hugs, as I stated before, are for people who enjoy glaring at you and around them, the general public. Like a bear, hunt your buddies down and stalk them. Then go in for the hug! Claw their back or neck for a cool bear-like essence! Be wild! ARRROOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

Finally, last but not least Fancy Hugs! These involve odd weird handshakes, fist bombs , and the occasional kiss on the cheek. They can really be expiremental. For example, if you are a cool skate board guy, you can go with the fist bomb collision, a Captain Hook, and the bumping of the chests. Or if you are foreign FBI agent who wants to create a connection with your pawns, you can start with bear hug combo with a double kiss to leave them disoriented, ready to poison! These hugs are really personalizable and can be used for any situation. So don’t be afraid to try new things! Here are a few things I’ve tried:

Give POI (person of interest) a Back Bear hug, then climb on their back, demanding a piggy back ride even though you are a bear.

A side hug, where your hand is on POI’s shoulder, but the other is secretly braiding their hair. (This is only for boys, sorry iron-men)

Bear hug both of POI’s feet, and leave them with you for the whole social gathering, in one place, enjoying your company. Do not let go, and for an option, lick their shins. Make sure when POI releases yellow nervous liquids pull down their pants and keep it as a memory. Smell it everyday!

(Try the last one. It is truly a life changing experience! I was put in a cage for a two year sentence! Was about to, anyway. Arachnid bailed me out…)

 

 

 

Red Queen: Some Random Thoughts

My favorite book of all time is Red Queen by Victoria Aveyard. (Although The False Prince by Jennifer A. Nielsen and The Keeper of the Lost Cities series by Shannon Messenger are close contenders.) If you haven’t read it (or them) you should.

This post does include some mild spoilers. You have been warned. (But if you haven’t read the book, I doubt it’ll make much sense.)

I am currently reading Red Queen for the fourth time.

But my rererereading it brings up some points that I always have had questions about.

It explicitly states that there aren’t any physical differences between a Red and Silver, other than the fact the Silvers are generally paler and blush weird.

That implies that if one were to place a Silver and a rather pale Red next to each other, one wouldn’t be able to tell the difference between them (unless the Silver started blowing stuff up or something).

And now my question: The inside of a person’s mouth is pinkish due to their red blood. So if a person had silver blood, wouldn’t the inside of their mouth be gray or something? The corner of a person’s eye is also pinkish due to their red blood. Wouldn’t that be silver for a Silver?

So if the inside of a Silver’s mouth was gray and the inside of a Red’s mouth was pink, then wouldn’t the High Houses know that Mare was only posing as a Silver as soon as she opened her mouth to say something?

Spinette has made an interesting theory on this point, which will follow the colon: What if Silvers have a strange affinity for cherry Kool-Aid or something else with intense red dye?

And now my second question: I have some problems with Mare’s cover story. It said that Mareena Titanos was a Silver who was raised by Reds and she didn’t know that she was a Silver until she was seventeen.

That implies that she didn’t know the color of her own blood, which means that for as long as she could remember, Mareena hadn’t bled at all. Doesn’t this mean that Mareena never injured herself? She never even got a paper cut?

And if Mareena truly was a Silver raised by Reds who believed that she had red blood, it means that she never looked in a mirror to see that her mouth was not pink, but instead gray.

Either way, I am willing to overlook these minor technicalities and just love the book. (But I would love it if someone would explain to me how these things could be. I’m talking to you, Victoria Aveyard.)