Showers

So today, I was looking at some random meme:

Since everyone gets inspiration from memes, I decided to make a post about my own shower time limits.

When I was a small hatchling, my mother used to do this thing called Towel Time and showed me proportions of time passing using a towel. Each time she showed me this, she told me to spend less time in the shower since I was in there for too long. And I mean, extremely long—to the point to where I become a human prune!

Seriously, this meme dude has a firm grasp on this Towel Time concept because I don’t know anyone (besides the Grand Master Of the Towels, my mother) who would shower for such a short amount of time. When I step into the shower, time seems to just slip away as my fingers prune. To me, it’s like a drug—once you start, you can’t stop. Towel Time would be the creepy cigarette commercial after I’m done.

Now, let me break down the things I actually do in the shower.

Unlike the meme, I do not have the brain capacity to reflect on the universe and instead sing an odd blended combination of Kpop, the Heathers Musical, Disney songs and the National Anthem of the U.S.A. (I just really like singing the National anthem okay?). Also, bits of other pop songs I like on the radio are stuffed in as well. This takes about 70% of my shower time.

Before I start to sing, I talk to You for awhile and fantasize about situations could never be in. Of course, this is the other 29% remaining plus the other 1% dedicated to actually doing things that are supposed to be done in these water hubs.

Yep. Time Management.

 

 

 

 

Showers

So today, I was looking at some random meme:

Since everyone gets inspiration from memes, I decided to make a post about my own shower time limits.

When I was a small hatchling, my mother used to do this thing called Towel Time and showed me proportions of time passing using a towel. Each time she showed me this, she told me to spend less time in the shower since I was in there for too long. And I mean, extremely long—to the point to where I become a human prune!

Seriously, this meme dude has a firm grasp on this Towel Time concept because I don’t know anyone (besides the Grand Master Of the Towels, my mother) who would shower for such a short amount of time. When I step into the shower, time seems to just slip away as my fingers prune. To me, it’s like a drug—once you start, you can’t stop. Towel Time would be the creepy cigarette commercial after I’m done.

Now, let me break down the things I actually do in the shower.

Unlike the meme, I do not have the brain capacity to reflect on the universe and instead sing an odd blended combination of Kpop, the Heathers Musical, Disney songs and the National Anthem of the U.S.A. (I just really like singing the National anthem okay?). Also, bits of other pop songs I like on the radio are stuffed in as well. This takes about 70% of my shower time.

Before I start to sing, I talk to You for awhile and fantasize about situations could never be in. Of course, this is the other 29% remaining plus the other 1% dedicated to actually doing things that are supposed to be done in these water hubs.

Yep. Time Management.

 

 

 

 

Baths

You should definitely take showers, not baths. There’s the obvious reason, with showers using much less water than baths (which is a very good reason to take showers. Save the environment!), and then there are the overlooked reasons as to why you should never take a bath.

Have you, dear nonexistent reader, ever really thought about what a bath truly is? It is soaking in your own pool of filth. Sitting for possibly hours, even days, as your grime floats around you. Does this mean that when you eventually exit the tub you will be just as dirty as when you entered the tub? Does this mean that a person who has only ever taken baths in their life has never properly gotten impeccably clean?

And if you’re like me and you like extremely hot self-cleaning episodes, you would likely take an extremely hot bath as well (assuming you don’t prefer boiling showers and icy baths). Does this mean that you are cooking yourself in a soup consisting of yourself and your filth?

And if this is indeed the case, it means that if you were ever in a boiling communal bathing location (otherwise known as a “hot tub”), that you are cooking yourself, along with your closest friends or closest strangers (in this instance, “closest” is referring to the distance between yourself and the strangers with whom you are sharing the boiling communal bathing location with.) into a large quantity of soup.

Hmm. Maybe I’ll make some broccoli-cheddar soup in my bathtub tomorrow…