The Sleepwalker | Flash Fiction

Hello, peeps of the universe. Today, or tomorrow, or whenever I find the time (what is time, anyway?), I’ll be doing a writing prompt! (Is “doing” an accurate verb? I’m not really “doing” a writing prompt. I’m writing an explosion based on the fuse that is the writing prompt. But actually, I’m just rambling.)

This writing prompt will be done with no prior planning. Basically, it will be word vomit. But hopefully, it’ll be entertaining word vomit. Either way, it will help me sharpen my writing sword to a lethal point so I can viciously stab all the fictional villains. [Insert mental image of Arachnid trying to press buttons on her laptop with a ginormous sword.]


The prompt: What started off as a sleepwalking problem leads to a night of adventure when Dane gets behind the wheel and does what he was too afraid to do when he was awake. (This prompt was stolen from BookFox.)

Diana carefully watched Dane across the table from her in the small cafe. It was nearly closing time and there were no other customers, only a waiter cleaning up the nearby table and willing them to leave so he could go home.

“Look, I love you, Diana, but you have no idea what you’re talking about. So what if I sleepwalk? I don’t have a problem. It’s harmless.”

Diana leaned forward, her voice dropping to a whisper even as anger laced her words. “Harmless? Do you even know what happened last night? Have you seen the news?”

Dane slowly shook his head.

“An unidentified man let all the butterflies out of the zoo.”

Dane barked a laugh. He had braced for something terrible to come out of Diana’s lovely mouth, like vandalism or arson or murder. “That’s all? So what if a few more butterflies are flitting around the city? Let them be free.”

Diana shook her head in disgust. “You don’t understand. It always starts small, and you tell yourself it’s nothing, and maybe it is then. But it escalates and you don’t even notice. This is bad, Dane. You need help. You could do something you’d regret.”

He drank the rest of his tea while Diana’s words rolled around inside his head. “Diana, trust me, it’s nothing.”

She abruptly stood up. “It seems you don’t have to even be asleep to say things you’ll regret.”

***

Hours later, the night was blue and sleeping. Dane was only a lump under the covers, Diana’s scathing accusations forgotten in the fog of sleep. The world breathed softly, the wind brushing the curtains in greeting, and the floorboards creaked as Dane’s feet thudded softly against them.

He didn’t fit neatly in the world anymore. He was outside of the calm and his body outside the control of his mind.

***

The garage door rumbled open. A car rolled out, Dane behind the wheel. The car lurched onto the empty street, weaving in and out of the lane like it was drunk, occasionally careening onto the sidewalk.

The car coasted to a stop after a while, half on a lawn and leaning against a precariously tilting mailbox. Dane clumsily stepped onto the pavement and stumbled to the door. He rang the bell, and when no one answered, he rang it again. Again, the door remained closed, the night still and quiet. He broke the silence and pounded against the door.

A moment later, Diana opened the door, wearing purple pajamas and glaring both furiously and sleepily. She rubbed her eyes. “What do you want?” She noticed his glassy-eyed stare. “Dane.”

Dane dropped to his knees and pulled a slightly squished cinnamon bun out of his pocket and held it out to Diana in an offering. He mumbled, “I love you. Marry me?”

Diana, usually unshakeable, was shocked. This was unexpected, to say the least. She thought that his sleepwalking would culminate in various criminal activities, not a proposal. “What? No. Goodnight, Dane.” She closed her front door, rolled her eyes, and went back to bed. Dane could find his own way home, as he had every night for the past few weeks.

***

Diana slid into the chair across from Dane the next afternoon and folded her arms. “Do you know what you did last night?”

Dane looked surprised. “I sleepwalked again? But I woke up in bed this morning.”

“You proposed to me. With a cinnamon bun.”

Dane flushed. “I—You were dreaming,” he spluttered.

Create-A-Story Tag

Greetings, nonexistent readers! The wonderful Who… Am I? tagged me for this wonderfully unique tag. And I’m going to write a short story for all you marshmallows with NO PLANNING WHATSOEVER. Prepare for it to suck (but hopefully be amusing anyway).


RULES

  1. You pick your first word, your setting, and your story genre from the list below. As individuals, your brand of creativity is unique to yours, so we want to highlight that by letting you choose from a bunch of words and creating something beautiful out of it.

Create A Story Tag

  1. The short story will have a limit of 1000 words. You do not need to write a story with 1000 words exactly. It could be 300, or 500 as long as it doesn’t surpass a thousand.
  2. YOU HAVE TWO WEEKS TO ANSWER THE TAG.
  3. You must tag three people to participate.
  4. Don’t forget to link back to Keiko so she can collect all the stories. You can’t just link back to her WordPress since she won’t be alerted of the pingback. You need to link back to a post or a page because WordPress works like this.
  5. Use the Create-A-Story picture in the post.
  6. Copy and paste the rules in your tag post as well so others can be clued into the Create-A-Story rules.

My Combination: Station, Sea, and Comedy.

(Did you guys expect me to choose anything other than comedy?)

Station wagons apparently don’t work that well in the sea, as I’m finding out right about now. It’s rather unfortunate, but there’s nothing else to be done as fish, such as myself, don’t work quite well on land. But if an empty station wagon randomly drops from the sky like a bag of flour (long story), then what’s a fish to do other than abduct said station wagon? It’s not like we get a lot of them around these parts. It’s a bit more humid than a station wagon’s usual habitat, so they tend to avoid the ocean.

But like most other species, there are some individuals that tend to be somewhat more reckless than the general population, giving the general population a bad reputation, leading to the general population being disappointed in the certain individual and shunning them, leaving them alone to lead a life of misery and loneliness, and possibly crime. A prime example of such an individual would be the station wagon, and another would be me.

I’m pretty sure it’s illegal for station wagons to fly. I don’t know about you, but it’s not often that you find them in the sky. Or in the ocean. And it’s definitely quite illegal for fish to steal station wagons. Not that I see a motive for a fish to steal a station wagon. Because as I said, station wagons don’t work that well underwater, so, therefore, a practical fish wouldn’t see the point of risking their reputation to steal a station wagon that wouldn’t work anyway. You drop a cherry-red Ferrari from the sky though, and I bet even the most rational fish would attempt to take it.

My incurable loneliness and criminal record and general disregard for rules and all that are beside the point, though. The point is that this station wagon is sinking and I’m stuck inside. &%#, I wish this were a convertible.

But, you know, I’m an optimist. Maybe wrongfully so, but I still am. At least I don’t have to be afraid of drowning. But, I do have to have to be afraid of the Porpoise Police Force that I see quickly approaching in the rear-view mirror. Because, you know, I’ve just stolen this station wagon.

The station wagon finally finishes its descent and it thunks to the ocean floor, raising a cloud of dust that blocks the windows. When it clears, a Porpoise Police Officer is waiting outside the window. She bangs on the window and mouths at me to roll it down. I mouth back that I can’t. She rolls her eyeballs. I imagine her as a taxidermied porpoise with her eyes as glass marbles that fall out of her head and roll around the ground until an ominous, but vague and undefined, force plucks them off the ground and makes me eat them. I gag. She cringes. She smashes the window in with a conveniently-placed hammer she found in the back pocket of the pants she wasn’t wearing and I swim out.

“You have a license, sir?”

“No, madame.”

She glances at me over the top of her glasses.

“That’s fine. We’re sea creatures.”


Okay, that’s it. Abrupt ending. I have no idea where I was going with that. They were the words that my traitorous fingers wanted to write with NO PLANNING WHATSOEVER.

Hopefully, it wasn’t that bad.

Anyway, I’m Tagging…

It’s Kind of Like Cinderella! (A Short Story)

Today (actually yesterday), I wrote a story based off of and including eight randomly generated words. The story took a very odd turn.

So here are the eight words:

bucket ~ first on the bucket list!

miniature~ yay! cute things!

summon~ the first thing I think of is an exorcism.

herbs~ pickle, pineapple, strawberry!

beg~ so it’s gonna be about a poor street rat.

shoes ~ red heels have such a lovely aesthetic to them.

purring~ meow, meow.

seduce ~ I’m going to have fun with this one!

It’s Kind of like Cinderella!

“Oh, Maria!” Kara’s cheeks lowered into a fiery bliss, “Look at these new shoes!”

Maria watched her go tap tap with her heels in moonlight, enjoying the sliding reflection on the tips, but even more so the toes tucked inside them. She sighed hollowly; the sight of her feet was enough to seduce her.

Cautiously, Maria took her hands and brushed them against the shoe, noting the pure quality of plastic but also the mere millimeter she was away from touching Kara’s ankles. She could feel herself heating up already, desire welling up in her veins. All she would have to do is lower the bucket.

“Do you like them?” Kara purred softly.

Maria blinked twice. Surely she was imagining things, since her friend never was this appealing before. Was it her perfect feet summoning her? Those baby-like miniature red nails?

“It’s nice,” was all Maria managed to say.

It was as if the stars of Paris, France were ready to supernova in her chest. Her thumb teetered on the edge of the plastic just about ready to touch Kara’s skin, to build a portal to unlimited toe grazing. Oh my, Maria thought in pleasure, I just need to move my finger! Why won’t it move!

Kara stepped away to look at the stars above them, grinning, “It’s so pretty out here.”

Maria’s hands clenched the brick bench she was sitting on, a cold, hard floor to bring her back to reality. Still, the girl hoped, taking on this idiom she learned recently, If it’s called being between a rock and a hard place, where is the rock? The flame of desire didn’t go out yet; Maria would do anything to touch those feet.

For some odd reason, Kara’s voice seemed more poetic rather than the usual squeal, “I know this is weird, but can you…” A clumsy poet begging for money, but the nonetheless, she continued, “give me your…”

“What?” Maria questioned. Did she want to swap shoes? Jackpot!

“…Your feet?” Kara’s face beamed bright pink, “Please! I know it’s weird! I just want to touch them, maybe take a picture? Just for a bit!” she begged.

A new fresh-herb confidence waded over Maria as she kicked off her tennis shoes, stomping to her goal. She gently took off her friend’s heels, placing them on the cement, making sure to caress the undersides of her toenails while she was at it. Kara gave her private smile, urging her to go ahead.

THE END.

The Many Uses of Paperclips

Heyo, nonexistent guys!

A Very Long Time Ago, Spinette and I had a “contest” to see who could come up with more uses for paperclips.

It’s this whole thing with Divergent Thinking and Creativity, but I’m not going to go into the science-y stuff as I’m sure I’ll get it wrong. But to sum it up,

More uses for paperclips=more creativity

But, sadly, this idea failed as Spinette is either very busy or very lazy and she hasn’t done it. (Just like the 100 Follower Q&A special.)

Note: I’m not saying that using paperclips for the things on this list would be effective, efficient, or even successful. Just that you could. And also, sometimes, the paperclips are not average paperclips. They could be giant or super strong or whatnot.

A Long List of Uses for Paperclips

  1. To hold papers together (obviously)
  2. earrings
  3. solder replacement
  4. fishing hook
  5. fish-feeding device
  6. hair tie
  7. makeshift hair tie (Don’t ask why those are separate. I wrote this like two months ago.)
  8. A writing device if you were to dip it in ink
  9. an eating utensil
  10. weave them into a basket
  11. conduct electricity
  12. a weapon
  13. a toothpick
  14. hair accessory (This is different from hair tie.)
  15. needle
  16. clasp
  17. button
  18. zipper hook
  19. retrieval device (Retrieval of what I don’t know.)
  20. carving tool
  21. make a sculpture out of them
  22. source of metal to make a thimble
  23. a tightrope
  24. rope
  25. a noose
  26. necklace
  27. bracelet (I’m surprised this and necklace were so far down the list.)
  28. a bridge
  29. grappling hook
  30. choking device
  31. lockpick
  32. makeshift knife
  33. a microphone for a stuffed animal
  34. pretend barbershop-scissors
  35. unicorn-horn replacement
  36. They could be a method of communication if you folded paperclips into letters.
  37. If it was giant, you could use it to build an amusement park ride
  38. architecture models
  39. chandelier
  40. use it to poke holes in eggshells
  41. tweezers
  42. pick out gunk from crevices (by “crevice” I meant the spaces in a keyboard and such)
  43. decorations
  44. those things vining plants climb
  45. back scratcher
  46. a cage
  47. handcuffs
  48. keys
  49. traps for insects
  50. stirring device for baking
  51. gauging cardboard
  52. weed puller
  53. crabapple plucker
  54. if it were giant, you could fence with it
  55. stilts
  56. a cane
  57. ice skates
  58. use it to cut ice
  59. If it were giant, you could make a chair
  60. a candle holder
  61. A mini Christmas tree
  62. A Christmas ornament
  63. hold pom pom balls together
  64. carve soap
  65. an amusement park for ants
  66. an ant jungle gym
  67. an ant playground
  68. a mini drumstick
  69. a button presser
  70. nail polish applier
  71. a clay carver
  72. a painting device
  73. a swing set
  74. a replacement for Barrel of Monkeys
  75. a button pressor (Ignore the fact that this was on here twice.)
  76. Cut thread
  77. a phone stand
  78. make a metal web 😉
  79. bed frame
  80. axel for wheels
  81. pop bubbles
  82. pop tires
  83. a bookmark
  84. a breaker of glass
  85. a push-pin
  86. a hinge replacement
  87. a staple replacement
  88. a stick for holding cotton candy
  89. a stick for holding a lollipop
  90. a mini imitation trombone
  91. an orange peeler
  92. use it to write in sand
  93. use it to write in mud
  94. a screwdriver
  95. pry things open
  96. a nail filer
  97. a chalk board-scratcher
  98. a magnet attractor
  99. a pranking material
  100. keep shoelaces separate
  101. a button pressor specifically for keyboards
  102. an engraver
  103. soap carving (Again, ignore the fact that this is the second time I mentioned soap-carving.)
  104. a balsa wood-cutter
  105. a whittler
  106. a mini flute
  107. a lock-jammer
  108. a gum holder
  109. a ring holder
  110. a glove folder
  111. a plant poker
  112. a hook
  113. a nail polisher (another repeat that should be ignored)
  114. glue applier
  115. use it to press those little restart buttons (This is what? The fourth time I’m mentioned buttons?)
  116. a mini imitation flute (another repeat)
  117. a relative of the laser pointer (I bet a paperclip and a laser pointer would have a lot of fun at their family reunion.)
  118. A walking stick for a doll
  119. a mini coat hanger
  120. use it to make indentations in tinfoil
  121. use it to make indentations in an eraser
  122. scratch chalkboards without that weird feeling on your fingernails (another repeat. *Sigh*)
  123. Get dust out of space between letter on keyboard
  124. hold beads
  125. make a brooch
  126. carve your name in a tree
  127. poke holes in a styrofoam cup to make a makeshift watering can
  128. poke holes in eggs to extract eggs yolks (apologies for the repeats)
  129. stir Jello-O
  130. descale fish
  131. skin small furry animals
  132. use it to make a spit (I am a vegetarian)
  133. Make a shish kebab!
  134. unmortar bricks
  135. play a washboard (I don’t think I even know what this means)
  136. play the xylophone
  137. Make indentations in paper that can later be shaded over to form the means of a secret code