The Forgotten Blog Ideas

Heyo, peeps!

I’ve had many blog post ideas over the nearly-year, some of them good, some of them bad, and some which never made the cut. As I’m one to go all-out with bad post ideas, the ones that don’t make the cut are usually just too short. Like only a couple sentences long. But I guarantee that those couple sentences are funny and they don’t deserve to rot away in my notebook of blog ideas. So why not mash them together into a disconnected post and let them have a bit of the spotlight?


  • Playing hot potato with ACTUAL hot potatoes. I mean, who even does that anymore?
  • When you think you’ve been eating multivitamins, but they’re actually gummy bears.
  • When I’m angry at someone, I find that it helps to imagine their head as a watermelon and a conveniently-placed hammer in your hand.
  • What if animals had equal rights? What if you hit a squirrel with your car and it died? Would you be charged with manslaughter (squirrelslaughter)?
  • There’s morning people (early birds), night people (night owls), and me: the perpetually tired.
  • Why did the chicken cross the road?
    • This joke is funny because the listener expects a funny punchline, but the punchline (to get to the other side) is so decidedly unfunny that it’s shocking, and therefore it’s funny.
  • What happened to all the older people in YA fantasy?
  • Nut Ramblings
    • Cashews are my favorite nut
    • Salted almonds are bad
    • Unsalted peanuts are bad
    • So since peanuts must be salted and almonds cannot be salted, peanuts and almonds can’t mix, even though they’re both nuts.
  • bubble cars
  • Is the scent of a freshly mown lawn actually grass blood?
  • Red is my favorite flavor
  • Leave an index card that is decorated and says, “Have a stunning day” in every library book you read for others to find. On the back, write, “Why, today is amazing“.
  • Never stick your hand (or anything else) in the flame. It is not good for your health. (I can’t remember what I meant by this. I don’t get the italics either.)
  • Sayings
    • Never ask a question you don’t know the answer to.
    • The only possible motive for asking a question is to see what the other person knows.
    • One must always believe whatever one finds on the internet.
    • One must never have any expectations at all so one will always be impressed with one’s accomplishments.
    • The worse something tastes, the healthier it must be.
  • Emojis that should exist
    • Yellow circle (for when there is no emotion)
    • scowl
    • stick figure
    • bemused expression
    • one with crossed arms
    • half-smile
    • glaring
    • evil witch cackles
    • furrowed brows
  • From what direction do you peel a banana?
  • When I was a kid, I’d rip the heads off of gummy bears and stick them on other bodies. Is that weird?

So welcome to a piece of my mind. If you didn’t already think I was crazy, here’s some more evidence to prove you otherwise.

This was actually really helpful because while I was looking through my notebooks, I found a bunch of good ideas that I haven’t written posts for yet I think!

Random Ramblings

I’ve had a bunch of ideas for blog posts, but they’d be way too short to keep you nonexistent readers satisfied for the day, so I’m just going to shove them all together to make one decent-sized, hopefully-entertaining post. Yay addition and math! Forgive me if the thoughts are a bit disconnected.

 

Dental update–After fixing my eleven cavities, I’ve started taking care of my teeth. This includes flossing, which I rarely never did before. But I have a perfectly logical reason for denying my teeth optimal health. I didn’t like stuffing my fingers in my mouth. It’s annoying. So to remedy this issue, I got floss on a stick! With the wonderful floss on a stick, I don’t have to stick my fingers in my mouth anymore, so I now floss regularly.

 

Speaking of things on sticks, I want to discuss lollipops. A lollipop is just hard candy on a stick and I strongly dislike them.

A guide to hard candy:

Caramel=good

Jolly Rancher=bad (but I will eat them anyway)

I have two reasons for disliking lollipops:

a) They taste bad

b) The stick that lollipops come on is made of paper, which is water-soluble, which makes it an absolutely idiotic substance to use for the stick on which a food product goes because you put this stick in your mouth and your mouth contains saliva, which is mostly water, and as the stick is water-soluble, it dissolves in your mouth. This is contradictory to what is supposed to happen. You’re not supposed to eat the paper (as paper is not usually a food product), you’re supposed to consume the spherical hard candy on top of the water-soluble paper stick.

 

It’s an outrage, I know, I know, completely atrocious, but I’ve decided that I like apple cider as much as I do cranberry juice.

 

The one thing that I really, really want is a bronze spool of thread. It is my current ambition in life.

 

There are these bushes outside my house with these little red berries and whenever I walk past them, clouds of flies explode out of them for unknown reasons.

 

A random fact about Spinette and me:

  • Spinette cannot stand the songs Honey I’m Good by Andy Grammar and Welcome to the Black Parade by My Chemical Romance
  • I cannot stand That’s What I Like by ze unmentionable artist

 

From what direction do you peal a banana?

I peal a banana from the top.

 

I think it’s egotistic of people to say that aliens don’t exist.

 

Well, that was interesting. Maybe I’ll elaborate further on one of these topics in the future. Who knows? *Shrugs*