Mellow Yellow Episode 27: The Theater

JOHN and LENA are in the living room. They are eating buttered popcorn.

LENA: I like pretzels better.

JOHN: We should go see a play!

LENA: I still like pretzels better.

JOHN: There’s this new one that everyone is talking about. It’s called “Dirt Garden.”

LENA: What’s it about?

JOHN: Uhhh… I’m not entirely sure. But everyone else raves about it. Therefore we’re going to love it, too. I heard the actors are supposed to be stunning.

LENA: (Plasters an obviously fake smile on her face): They can’t be a better actor than me.

 

***

 

LENA and JOHN are at the Beans Bunny Theater and the room is darkening and the curtains are lifting as the play begins.

JOHN: Is that…?

LENA: No!

JOHN: It can’t be…

STRANGER #1 stands up. The rest of the audience is silent.

STRANGER #1 (cheering): Tick and Tock! You’re my heroes. The best actors in the business. Will you both marry me at the same time?

TOCK: Be quiet!! The show’s starting. And turn off your cell phones.

The play begins.

TICK (sobbing): Oh, my garden! All my flowers have been killed by some mysterious force! Now it’s nothing but…

A moment passes.

TICK: Nothing but…

The audience waits, at the edge of their seats. The anticipation is palpable.

TICK: Line?

TOCK (Whispering furiously): Dirt. Now it’s nothing but dirt.

The crowd is silent. TICK is silent. The whole theater is silent. TICK has fallen asleep.

TOCK: Aw $#%&!!! Get up, you stupid clod.

The curtain is quickly closed on a raging TOCK kicking a sleeping TICK.

The audience breaks into wild applause and whistles. It’s a standing ovation.

 

***

 

LENA and JOHN are talking to each other on the way out of the theater.

LENA (angry): Remind me never to listen to you ever again!

LENA stomps off in a random direction angrily.

JOHN (to himself): I thought it was magnificent.

JOHN hurries to catch up to LENA.

Mellow Yellow Episode 19: Pool Party

In CYRA’s homely cottage, setting up a kiddie pool

CYRA: (whipping LUR) All done! I think your blood has filled up the pool!

LUR (weakly): Get me out of here.

CYRA: Yay! I’m going to change into my swimsuit, okay? You wait here.

LUR: I’m tied up! (struggles with the ropes)

 

***

 

CYRA: I’m back! (Now dressed in a green bikini, and is untying LUR)

LUR: What is this? A pool party?

CYRA: Yeah! I got the drinks too! (holds up a wine glass filled with blood. ZHAN’s eyeball floats on top) Want one?

LUR: No.

CYRA: Not even with these silver noodles he had clenched in his hands? (slurps TICK’s hair) They are quite tasty.

LUR: NO.

CYRA: Don’t you want to have some fun? (Puts hand on his shoulder)

LUR: … (Flashbacking wildly)

CYRA: Hello? Lur? (waving her hands frantically in front of his face) Oh well, I guess I could just look in that bag that you have…

LUR: … (Lost in the land of Flashback)

CYRA: (rummaging through his bag) Let’s see… bullets, an array of forks from different countries that don’t exist, Slugventures, and a single by Katy Perry. (Rubbing dust off the cover) Ooooh! California Gurls! This is perfect!

LUR: (back from his journey) Hey! What are you doing?

CYRA places the disk into a conveniently placed disk player.

California Gurls plays

LUR (Singing along): CALIFORNIA GURLS, WE’RE UNDENIABLE, DAISY DUKES… (Looks from his swim trousers to her bikini frantically)

CYRA: EIFFEL TOWERS ON TOP! (An Eiffel Tower grows out of the ground behind them)

QUINN is in the bushes with popsicles, ready to fire, along with his army men, JOHN, and LENA.

CYRA and LUR: FUN, FRESH, FIERCE, SO HOT. WE’LL—

QUINN: FIREEEEEWEEE! (JOHN fires the popsicles, but they melt in the air)

CYRA and LUR: MELT YOUR POPSICLE!

QUINN: So this is the true power of the Fire Nation.

JOHN: Yes, they are almost untouchable!

LENA: But it looks like they are having a lot of fun. Look at those yummy snacks they have!

JOHN: Let’s go!

JOHN and LENA rip off their clothing (they are wearing bathing suits), running toward the pool party, leaving QUINN all alone.

QUINN: Hello darkness, my old friend.

LENA: (wearing a blue bathing suit, settling down in the blood pool) Hey guys, what’cha up to?

JOHN: Yeah. What up? (In red swim trousers)

LUR: (with an idiotic smile) The Eiffel Tower!

JOHN’s eyes narrow.

CYRA sucks on ZHAN’s disembodied finger

JOHN: You are supposed to say “the ceiling” (Disgraced, he leaves the pool, tripping over the finished glasses of ZHAN’s blood)

LENA: I guess it’s just us now, huh?

LUR: Hey! I just realized now that I can escape!

CYRA takes LUR, folds him into a sandwich, and sits on him. She finishes him off with a dagger to the cheek.

LUR: Ow.

LENA: (Petrified) What? Is this stuff not fruit punch?

CYRA grabs LENA’s swimming suit, folds her into a burrito, and uses her as a footrest. She slurps her ZHAN-blood desperately trying to fit the eyeball into her mouth.

JOHN: (In the bushes with QUINN) The Fire Nation is truly despicable.

QUINN: Yes. (bites Bread Snadwhich three)

 

~~~END

 

Mellow Yellow Episode 16: Proposal

ZHAN and TICK are in the living room, watching a movie called Downside Up: The Horror of an Uninteresting House.

TICK snores.

ZHAN: Tick, wake up. This is the best part!

TICK: It’s so late… (blowing mucus bubbles)

ZHAN: But this is the perfect time. The stars are shining, and look, there is your favorite one now!

TOCK climbs on the ceiling in a silver suit.

TICK: I’m sleepy…

ZHAN winks at TOCK.

TOCK lights the TV on fire.

TICK: Oooh! Look at how realistic this is! You are right, Zhan, this is the best part!

The fire is spreading around while TOCK is eating some popcorn in the corner.

TICK: Special Effects! (Starts to fall asleep, almost collapsing in the fire)

ZHAN: I will save you! (Takes her in his arms and uses the conveniently placed rope to swing her out of the zone of the fire.)

TICK snores.

ZHAN (Using the also conveniently placed fire hydrant to put out the fire): It’s gone now, love.

TICK snores.

ZHAN: Tick? (cries) Are you alright? Tick?

TOCK provides dramatic lighting.

ZHAN: NOOooooo OoooOooooOoOO OoOoOooOoooOOooOooO OoOoooOOo oOooO O!

TICK: Your scream has awoken me, Zhan.

ZHAN: Tick! (Hugs TICK)

TICK hugs back even though she doesn’t know why she is hugging him.

ZHAN: After this frightening occurrence, I have seen how much you mean to me. (Secretly reading off lines written in his jeans pocket.) So will you do me the honor of marrying me? (Holds up a ring made out of Tick’s hair.)

TICK: Of course…

ZHAN: Really! (genuinely surprised) You will?

TICK: Not.

ZHAN: Oh yeah, there’s Tock, right?

TICK: Not.

 

*A while later*

 

TOCK (dragging TICK away as she goes to sleep again): You didn’t really mean that, did you?

TICK (sleep talking): You are a very nice star.

 

~~~END

 

Mellow Yellow Episode 15: Outside In

TICK, TOCK, and MASTER are selling Outside In novels in the busy streets of Almuerzo.

TICK: Buy them fresh from the counter! Get some copies of Outside In today!

TOCK: Yes, this book will always keep you on your toes!

MASTER: EVEN IF YOU DON’T HAVE ANY! (becomes a ghost)

LENA walks up to the stand wanting to purchase some books while JOHN follows her, scoffing at how bad it is.

LENA: Can I have one?

TOCK: Sure! Tick, can you grab one for her?

TICK: Here. (holds up Outside In: The Guide To Indoor Gardening)

JOHN: What! I thought it was just Outside In!

LENA: (Raises eyebrow) What in the world is that?

MASTER: We don’t have that title, but, if you want, we have free Masters!

JOHN: Ooooh! Plushies!

TOCK hands him a Master Lock.

LENA: Can I have one too?

JOHN cries, dying his hair a light purple color

ZHAN: YES! (shaves him bald)

JOHN cries even harder.

 

~~~END

Mellow Yellow Episode 14: Lena’s Birthday!

LENA is lonely and wondering if anyone actually remembers her birthday. She sighs, opening her present to herself. It is a sock, although there is only one. She lost the other half of the pair somewhere between buying it in the clearance section and wrapping it.

LENA puts the one sock on her hand. She grabs some googly eyes from her pocket and makes a sock puppet.

JOHN bursts in through the door. He is wearing a banana suit.

JOHN: Never fear! John is here!

LENA: Do you know what day it is today?

JOHN: Yep. It’s Wednesday.

LENA: Yes… but is it a special Wednesday?

JOHN: Uhhhh… I think it might be International Squid Day, but that may have been last week.

JOHN strokes the sock puppet, deep in thought, then looks closer at the puppet.

JOHN: Hey! It has googly eyes! Is it your birthday? You only ever carried googly eyes in your pocket on your birthday.

LENA (looking pleased): Yes it is! I’m now officially seventeen. Did you get me anything?

JOHN: I did, in fact.

JOHN drops to one knee and pulls out a ring box.

JOHN: Lena, will you make me the happiest potato in this room and marry me?

Opens ring box to reveal half eaten pretzel.

LENA looks at JOHN incredulously.

LENA: No.

JOHN hops to his feet.

JOHN: Okay. It was part of the competition to win Bread’s love, anyway. It was to see who can throw the most romantic proposal. I think I’ll get extra points since it was your birthday/Wednesday and my ring was so tasty. I think Zhan is going to propose to Tick. Or possibly her shoe.

 

~~~END

 

Mellow Yellow Episode 13: Wedding Special!

The wedding is just about to start in the Inverse Aquarium, but TICK and TOCK are having problems putting on BREAD SNADWICH’S dress.

TOCK: It’s so slippery! I can’t put it on!

TICK: It’s slipping out of my hands! (tries to keep the salami stable)

QUINN: (on the other side of the door) Is my princess ready yet? The guests are here already! (comes in)

TICK AND TOCK: SORRY!

QUINN: I’ll put it on. Besides, I am her groom, so I should take responsibility!

TICK and TOCK run out, seeing that the billions of guests that have already arrived

 

***

 

ARA: Chloe! You’re here! Now, where is Jay? I want him to die.

CHLOE is hugging herself tightly.

MASTER: YOU ALSO KNOW THE SECRET OF THE BREAD!

 

***

 

With the flashing lights and flying squids, QUINN and BREAD SNADWICH come out. QUINN is also wearing baloney and strips of salami braided into his hair. MANAGER OPPA is throwing confetti on them.

TOCK: Our child is so beautiful in that dress! (cries tears of joy)

TICK is sleeping

TOCK: DON’T YOU WANT TO SEE OUR DAUGHTER GET MARRIED?

JAY (Appearing from nowhere): So you are the bride’s mother? Where is the father?

TOCK points at TICK

CHLOE: She’s cute.

JAY: HOW? WHAT? ARE YOU SURE, MA’AM? SHE LOOKS LIKE YOUR SISTER!

TOCK (annoyed): She is.

*Awkward silence*

 

***

 

ZHAN, JOHN, KYR, and CYRA are sitting at a table together

CYRA: Hello.

ZHAN: Who are you?

CYRA: I’m in the process of finding what hair color suits me. I don’t have an identity until then.

JOHN: Like a K-pop star! (covers mouth)

KYR: John used to be one! He told me everything under that dress at the wedding shop!

CYRA: DANCE FOR US! (Touches his hair)

JOHN: I was a model, not a K-pop star! (starts to dance like a squirrel having seizures)

ATTENDANT starts singing Luna’s I Wish with her pretty voice

Everyone starts crowding around her, leaving JOHN alone. JOHN is relieved

KYR (in the crowd): YEAH! WEIRD METAPHORS!

CYRA (to ATTENDANT): Are you a K-pop star?

ATTENDANT: Yes. (Reveals her true identity as KIM TAEYEON, while singing crazy high notes)

Suddenly everyone stops everything

LENA (wearing a sticky dress): Why do I have to be the usher! (grumbles)

QUINN: Just do it!

LENA: Pfft, fine. (Pauses) Quinn, do you take this beloved bread sandwich as your wife?

QUINN: I do.

LENA: And do you, Bread Snadwich take your beloved, Quinn, as your husband?

BREAD SNADWICH: …. (hey, did you notice this ellipsis has a fourth dot which means it’s an actual ellipsis in Bread language)

The crowd is biting their fingernails. Quinn is eating his hair

BREAD SNADWICH: I—

ZHAN (Dramatically): NO! Stop the wedding! I will not let my bread sandwich go like this!

JOHN: That girl is mine! (filled with rage) Along with the house!

LENA: Um… what house?

MANAGER OPPA falls into chaos and takes TAEYEON with him

TAEYEON (singing): WHHHHHHHHY, WHHHHHHY!

CHARMING: Good morning.

JOHN and ZHAN are in a heated argument.

TOCK: TICK, CAN YOU PLEASE TURN ON THE A.C.?!

CHARMING AND KYR: Improper Grammar! (provides subtitles)

TAEYEON: Annyeonghaseyo!

*Are you at peace? Or “Hello”*

OPPA: How did you speak English so well before?

TAE: I just copied Fany! Bye, English people!

TAEYEON swims to Korea

ZHAN: Wait, where is Korea?

JOHN: Let’s go back to our heated argument!

TOCK: TICK! THE AC! (burning in the midst of the argument)

 

***

 

JAY (On the sidelines): I wanted some squid. At least some!

CHLOE (covered in squids): THEY ARE EATING ME, JAY! GET THEM OFF!

JAY: Yay!

ARA: I’ll save you! (uses Unsticky Act to unstick the squids)

CHLOE (cheery): You are my hero! Let’s get married!

 

***

 

ZHAN: THE BREAD SNADWICH IS MINE!

JOHN: NO! IT’S MINE!

QUINN: I’m pretty sure this supposed to be my wedding!

ZHAN: When you asked me if Bread Snadwich liked birds, a couple of episodes ago, I said no. How do you think I knew?

QUINN: I don’t know. And shouldn’t you get married to Tick’s—

TICK: WHAT! NO!!! I WANT TO GET MARRIED TO MANAGER OPPA!

TOCK: CAN YOU PLEASE TURN ON THE AC! (still in the fire) AND ARE YOU CHEATING ON ME? (the fire flares up)

TICK pours iced milk onto TOCK

JOHN: I’m sorry, Tick, but Manager Oppa just swam to Korea.

TICK (crying): MANAGER OPPA, I WILL MISS YOU!

TOCK: You still have me… (smoking in the remnants of the fire)

TICK is snoring

LENA (to everyone): This wedding is just falling apart! Can’t we just get this over with!? IT’S ABOUT 4.5 PAGES LONG!

Everyone claps at the new world record

MANAGER OPPA: (returns with angel wings) Thank you for the entrance!

MANAGER OPPA: I’m called Manager Oppa for a reason! Let’s get this started! Now, what’s the problem?

QUINN: These heathens are keeping me from getting married!

JOHN and ZHAN glare at him

MANAGER OPPA (With a crafty smile): Let’s prove it! We will see who loves Bread Snadwich the most in an ultimate competition! Whoever Bread Snadwich stays with is the winner!

JOHN: NO! THAT’S NOT POSSIBLE! SHE’S JUST A BREAD, AFTER ALL!

MANAGER OPPA: Strike 1!

 

~~~END

Mellow Yellow Episode 12 1/2: Filler Part 2, The Attendant Special

Due to sympathies felt by the authors, it has been decided that the ATTENDANT will receive more minimal lines to abate her unquenching thirst for the spotlight. Albeit, we will only refer to her as “ATTENDANT” to preserve her anonymity so she is protected from crazed fans and, most importantly, her ego doesn’t grow larger than it already is.

ATTENDANT (to an invisible audience): Oh! I’m so emotional. This is too much… All I can say is….. THANK YOU!

With that, she bursts into song with her surprisingly glorious voice.

ATTENDANT: MASSACHUSETTS GURLS, WE’RE DENIABLE. DULL, OLD, MILD, LIKE ONIONS ON TOP.

KYR and JOHN are the only people still in the store. KYR bursts into applause. JOHN looks aghast at ATTENDANT’S horrible interpretation of the classic song. Although, he must admit, her voice is only second to his own.

MASTER, now a ghost (he has obtained the ability to morph between the two forms), floats through the door and steals a dress for BREAD. It is made of a mixture of bologna and salami, although why a dress like that was in a fancy dress shop and not a deli eludes all.

ATTENDANT: I thought I screamed at you to get out of here!

 

~~~END

Mellow Yellow Episode 12: Cake

Back from the store, TICK and TOCK are baking a cake since they got outlawed from The Store of All Your Specific Wedding Needs.They are in MASTER’S office.

TICK: I’ve never baked a cake before. Have you, Tock?

TOCK: Does it look like I’ve baked a cake before? Of course not, you dummy!

Tears well up in TICK’S eyes

TOCK: I’m sorry… I didn’t mean it. Can you forgive me?

TICK is snoring

TOCK puts a bread crust in her ear

TICK: IREJOWt h oeruu h o uOW4uyeo 5ry9hfa;du ypr948p yoSHOpwej riop  j0weu p

TOCK: WE NEED TO BAKE THIS CAKE!

TICK (in that weird time where you are tired and can’t decipher fantasy from reality): OOOOHOOh lets make a cooking show liek Maswter!

KYR: (Providing subtitles) Ooooh! Let’s make a cooking show like Master! (Turns on the camera)

TOCK: So, first, to make the perfect cake, we need two pounds of sulfur and three chickens!

TICK: AMEK SURE the Chicken isa FREEEEESh!

KYR is still providing subtitles

TOCK: We mix it together, making sure that the chickens stop clucking and that the batter is nice and smooth.

TICK: SSSSSMMMMOOOOOOOTTTTHHHHH! (plays with TOCK’S hair)

TOCK: Then we put it in the freezer for about 40 minutes.

TICK: (hums Jeopardy theme song, but then stops) Hey, can you be the comedic relief for a second I want to do this part!

TICK: Okay… if you say so, Daddy!

TICK is sleeping

The cake explodes within the fridge, creating an element similar to TICK’S hair

ZHAN (descending from the clouds): YES!

MANAGER OPPA: IT’S PERFECT! (Coming flying in with the snowy egret)

TICK and TOCK: OLD MAN! (runs toward MANAGER OPPA)

ZHAN has a look of jealousy on his face, but TOCK realizes this and comes back to him.

ZHAN (smiling): Mommy!

TOCK: (slaps him in the face) Only Tick and Bread Snadwhich can call me that! (slaps him again)

ZHAN (Suddenly normal like the piece of cement he usually is): Can I at least have the element?

TICK (sitting on top of MANAGER OPPA’S head, wearing his glasses): No. That’s saved for Manager Oppa!

ZHAN glares at his new rival.

JOHN imagines ZHAN’S glare intensified by a thousand.

~~~END

Mellow Yellow Episode 11: Preparations

TICK, TOCK, QUINN, MASTER, and LENA are at the store looking for the perfect wedding dress for BREAD SNADWHICH.

TICK: How about this one? (Holds up a wedding gown)

TOCK: Nah. We need a bread sized one, remember? (Looks over shoulder when there is no response)

TICK is curled up on the dress while the ATTENDANT is trying to pull it from under her body.

TOCK: TICK! WAKE UP!

ATTENDANT: You guys are an odd bunch of people…

***

MASTER (just coming out from the bathroom): WOW! THAT WAS GREAT! I FEEL SO RELIEVED! THE AUTHOR USUALLY NEVER LETS ME DO THIS!

Everyone in the store looks at him

MASTER: Whoops…

ATTENDANT (Running up, aggravated): CAN YOU GET YOUR DAUGHTER TO GET OFF THAT DRESS! IT’S A MILLION DOLLARS AND SHE’S DROOLING ON IT!

MASTER: Actually miss, she isn’t my daughter but she is my ex-wife’s father.

ATTENDANT: Can you just get him off!

MASTER: She’s a “her”.

KYR (Crashing through the ceiling): That’s right, ma’am. Please get your grammar right next time!

JOHN (Popping out of a wedding dress): You just came out of the ceiling! So, What’s Up?

MASTER walks away with the freaked-out store ATTENDANT, leaving KYR to deal with JOHN’S sudden appearance in his underwear

***

The CLOCK DUO arrive at the scene

TICK, who is still asleep, is surrounded by mysterious circles created by a purple marker, blood-scented candles, and breadcrumbs. TOCK has a jug of iced milk, ready to pour.

ATTENDANT: AHHH! WHAT ARE YOU DOING!

QUINN (to his fiance): This wedding dress is not as beautiful as you! (to others)  AND WHAT ARE YOU GUYS UP TO?

(I resist to put an awesome pun I’ve created because it sounds quite weird and many people would advise against it)   

TICK: A demonic exorcism, is all! (Pours the iced milk)

ATTENDANT: GET OUT OF THIS STORE!

A snowy egret comes and carries them all out of the store

MASTER is still shopping for french baguette hat, without gluten

ATTENDANT: YOU TOO!

LENA: What about me?

ATTENDANT: YOU ALSO!

LENA: No, I was talking to the author. She didn’t include me at all, even when I was in the store! John and Kyr were dropped in and they weren’t even in the store in the first place!

ATTENDANT: Well this is my last episode and the audience doesn’t even know my name! (cries a waterfall on the dress) And be thankful for your appearances in these things. You might be very important later!

LENA (waving): Bye, Attendant!

QUINN (to LENA: Guess what?

LENA: What?

Quinn: I got you a dress! (Holds up the salty dress drenched in watered-down milk)

~~~END

(JOHN and KYR are playing rock-paper-scissors after being abandoned in the store, if you were wondering. They are hiding under a wedding dress as the ceiling is about to come crashing down.)  

Mellow Yellow Episode 10: Tricky Relations

LENA: Wait a second…

Everyone looks at her attentively

LENA (To QUINN in horror): If you’re marrying Bread Snadwich… and Bread Snadwich is Dad’s ex-wife, which means she’s my stepmom… then you’re my soon-to-be stepdad!

JOHN laughs

LENA (in a whiny voice): But I’m older than you!

QUINN (grinning): That means I’m the boss of you, soon-to-be stepdaughter, and I order you go to the wedding wearing a very fancy dress. The fanciest, itchiest, heaviest dress I can find, in fact. You’ll only be second to my darling fiance.

JOHN laughs harder. Only ARA can keep a straight face.

LENA (grumbling): @#$!

 

~~~END

 

Mellow Yellow Episode 9: Fluffy Hat

After a couple of days, MASTER is slowly getting used to his gluten-free-ness. He is human again. QUINN is getting ready for the wedding, but sadly he is having problems with the guests. LENA is in the living room as well.

QUINN: Lena! Do you want to come to our wedding?

LENA: I don’t like dresses. Or celebrating union.

MASTER walks in with his fluffy hat in his hand rather than on his head.

QUINN and LENA: WHOA! IT’S THE TOP OF HIS HEAD!

MASTER raises an eyebrow, both at the surprise of the two of them together and the fact that QUINN has BREAD SNADWHICH.

LENA: It’s so white and hairy! (pets the top of her father’s head)

MASTER (to QUINN): What are you doing with my wife—I mean my…uh.

QUINN: Marrying her. Why?

MASTER: WHAT?!

QUINN (nervous): You can’t really go near bread anymore, so I just conveniently fell in love!

MASTER: … So you think you are worthy of the Bread Snadwich?

QUINN: …

MASTER: YOU ARE! YOU ARE MY NEXT OFFSPRING! THE LEGACY OF MASTER SHALL LIVE ON! (Puts the fluffy hat on QUINN’S head) YOU HAVE LEARNED THE SECRET LANGUAGE OF THE BREAD!

QUINN (proud): I guess I have!

TICK and TOCK: (Suddenly crowding MASTER) SO YOU APPROVE?

MASTER: Yes. And Tick, that’s a nice new hairdo!

TICK (blushing): Thank you, Master. Tock did it for me.

TOCK glows at the attention.

ZHAN comes through the door, still crying for TICK’S wonderful hair.

ZHAN: WHY WHY WHY WHY? (Cries as TOCK sits down on his face to silence him.)

TICK walks away.

TOCK: Tick, come back! Don’t you want to pick out the dress for your daughter?

TICK: (Walks back, and grabs Tock’s hand) Let’s go!

 

~~~END

Mellow Yellow Episode 8: Chaos

MASTER tries to furiously eat another BREAD SNADWHICH. All the BREAD SNADWHICHES hurry into an open grave, afraid. Master is now completely green.

MASTER (to the SNADWHICHES): Wait! Come back! You are so tasty!

MARY and MAN WHO WAS EATEN MY MARSHMELLO laugh.

MARY claps a hand over her mouth as MASTER glares at her, still green.

MAN WHO WAS EATEN BY MARSHMELLO (still laughing): You look like the moldy pieces of bread you claim to love.

***

ARA looks up from her cell phone with an odd look on her face. LENA and JOHN continue to argue. ARA disappears and reappears in the graveyard.

ARA: I will never tell you my secrets (taps Master and he turns into a ghost)

Master: MY FEET!

***

ARA walks in through the wall. JOHN screams. His scream is oddly high-pitched. QUINN walks in in a wedding gown holding a SNADWHICH screeching California Gurls.

QUINN: CALIFORNIA GURLS, WE’RE UNDENIABLE. EIFFEL TOWERS ON TOP!

JOHN and LENA join in, “singing” different parts of the song. TICK enters, her hair now purple, a sobbing ZHAN chasing her.

Tick: Roar!

 

~~~~END

Mellow Yellow Episode 7: Ghosts

MASTER and the other dead people are in the cemetery trying to find out how ARA became a living creature

MASTER: This is my first line!

BREAD SNADWHICH 1: …

BREAD SNADWHICH 2: …

ALL THE NEGATIVE NUMBERED SNADWHICHES: …   

MASTER: YOU BREADS ARE THE BEST! HUGS!

MARY: How did that girl manage to get all that energy to become a living being? (Narrows eyes intensely)

MASTER: Well, I don’t know. (pauses) Can you rub my feet?

MARY: No, MASTER. We are ghosts remember? Ghosts don’t have feet.

MASTER: DON’T DEFY MEEEEEE!

MARY: (shivering) Yes, MASTER. (tries to rub ghost-tail thing)

MASTER: STOP! THOSE ARE NOT MY FEET!

MARY: Exactly! You don’t have feet! (Covers her mouth, after realizing what she said)

MASTER: Okay… So can you rub my toes?

MARY: (facepalms) Now back to what I was talking about: How did ARA become a human again?

MASTER (With BREAD SNADWHICHES huddled around him): She’s a Mary Sue, remember! That’s why she was killed off.

MARY: She wanted to keep her secret from you! That’s why she died.

MASTER: I guess she didn’t want to reveal that the authors did not have an excuse to make her overpowered.

MARY: You are just a sore loser, you know that! (Covers her mouth again)

MASTER: Perhaps… But, maybe I should join ARA. It’s really boring being dead with you. And I really want to feel the spongy texture of my wife again.

MARY: How are you going to go? With your toes? (Covers mouth) Stop the disobedience, Mary! (to herself)

MASTER: Yes.

All the BREAD SNADWHICHES huddle together in a toe-like form. The toe taps MASTER and he becomes human again, and the BREADS become breads again.

MARY:
MASTER (to BREAD SNADWHICHES): Now I can eat you! (Eats a piece of BREAD)

MASTER becomes green in the face and spits out the BREAD. All the other BREADS back away.

MASTER (voice grave): NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! I’m gluten-free!

 

~~~~END

Mellow Yellow Episode 6: Filler

John, Lena, and Ara are in the living room

John: Let’s go to the beach!

Lena: NO.

John: Why ever not?

Lena: (Slaps him across the face) NO. I want to know what happens next to Tick, Tock, Zhan, and Quinn. Weren’t you just captivated by that drama?

John: But I want to go to the beach!

Lena: (second blow) NO. This episode is just a time waster!

Ara: (on her phone) Same. I want to know what happens next in ESCAPE, but the author is not adding anything! I’m trying to text Chloe for information, but she’s not telling me! She says I’ve betrayed her and I’m dead and to never speak to her again.

Lena: (Suddenly interested) How about Jay?

Ara: Oh, Jay is human all of a sudden and now the two have a child. Honestly, I don’t ship it.

Lena: IS THIS FILLER EPISODE THAT LONG!? WE ARE JUST WASTING TIME! END THIS THING RIGHT NOW!

John: I still want to go to the beach…

Lena: Fine. At least I will have something to slap there.

 

~~~END

 

Lena: What? It ends right now! Come on!

 

~~~~~~~ENNDNDHDHDHHEHDHHD (Nothing happened. It’s a filler)

Mellow Yellow Episode 5: Clock School!

The two Clock sisters are in Master’s office. Of course, it’s Bread Snadwich’s now, because Master hates his daughter, Lena

Tock (to the audience): Welcome to Clock School, where we teach new apprentices for Master!

Tick: We even taught Mary!

Tock: Today, we will teach you the life cycle of a Bread Snadwich!

Bread Snadwich: …

Tick pulls out a diagram

Tock: First, the bread sandwich is born or created. This requires three pieces of bread and two bread chefs. Isn’t that right, Tick?

Tick is sleeping soundly as Zhan is slowly pulling  out strands of her hair

Zhan: I have a question. Are you—

Tock: (Cutting him off) Then the bread sandwich is created! During this time, a fluffy hat cradle will be suggested for better and faster growth!

Zhan: Are you girls m—

Tock: (Cutting him off again) Now for the best part! Love! After that stage, the Bread Snadwich will go to Master. No other spouses should be present.

Zhan: (frustrated)  ARE YOU GIRLS MARRIED? (Pulls a strand of hair too harshly)

Tick: I’m up. (Groans, ignoring the question)

Tock: (Also dodging the question) And the worst part: Death. This is when Master cannot control himself and eats the poor Bread Snadwich. This stage is also dubbed as “Break up” because after digestion she is abandoned.

Zhan: ARE YOU GIRLS MARRIED? ANSWER MY QUESTION!

Tick and Tock: …

Zhan: (giving up and also grunting) Speaking of ellipses, where is Bread Snadwich?

Tock looks around, confused

Tick: I know. (Rushes out the door)

Quinn (to the sandwich): (Huddled in a corner with the Bread Snadwich) You look very pretty today…

Tick: WHAT ARE YOU DOING?! GET AWAY FROM MY DAUGHTER THIS INSTANT!

Quinn (not hearing Tick): But I have to ask you this urgent question, Snadwich. Will you marry me? (holds up a ring)

Bread Snadwich: …

Tick: YOU ARE NOT GOING TO HAVE A CHANCE WITH MY CHILD, PUNK!

Quinn: You will?! Oh, this is the most joyous day of my life!

Tick: NO! SHE WILL NOT! (grabs the Bread Snadwich)

Quinn: YES, SHE WILL! (tugs it from her hands and runs down the hall)

 

~~~END

Mellow Yellow Episode 2: Misunderstood Bread Lover

In the living room, Quinn is writing a love poem, while Zhan is using Tick’s hair to make his invention

Quinn: Should I use swans or doves? (vigorously writing poem)

Zhan: None. I don’t think your lady likes birds.

Quinn: Ahh, yes that’s right!

Zhan discovers that Tick’s hair is not, in fact, silver but a completely new element! He tests out its conductivity by using the hair to make an electric circuit.

Ara (to Zhan): (Coming out of nowhere) Oooooh, can you charge my nunchucks?

Zhan: (Awfully confused) Aren’t you supposed to be dead?

Ara: Yes?

Quinn: Done! (slowly looks towards Ara, and breaths in) Hi!

Ara: Hello.

Quinn goes to the kitchen where Tick is singing a lullaby to her child and hides under the table.

Tick: Lullaby, sleep tight….zzzzzzzz (Sleeping)

Quinn: This is my chance! (Using his Shadow Act, he slowly steals the child)

Quinn: Wake up! I made something for you, my love! (Carefully he unfolds the poem, blushing.)

Tick: ZZZZzzzZZZz (snorts)

 

The poem:

Violets are Red,

Roses are Blue,

I’m not very good at poems

Neither is the author

I can’t think of anything

I guess….

Swans, doves

I’ll protect you from all the birds

Beware this is becoming a free verse

I like cooking

Sudden ending

 

Bread Snadwich: …

Quinn: I knew you would love it! (hugs Bread Snadwich)

Tock is standing in the doorway, her jaw dropping down to the floor

Tock: MY BABY! (Aggressively pulls the sandwich out of Quinn’s hand) WHAT ARE YOU DOING! SUFFOCATING MY CHILD?

Quinn: You don’t understand…it was just…

Tock: (Not letting him speak) OFFICER! OFFICER!

John: (Stomping down the door, barefooted) Don’t fear, John is here! (turns to Tock and says with a Bostonian accent) So, what is the problem here, ma’am?

Tock: This little juvenile delinquent is choking my kid here, sir!

John: I’ll have to discipline him, ma’am.

Tock waves goodbye to John as he takes Quinn away

Quinn: Do I have to go to the slammer, officer?

John: No, kid! You think I would be one to send you to jail? My relationship with the police is bad enough! It’s even worse than the one I have with Lena!

Ship slowly sinks in the distance

John: And I have an even better punishment for you!

Quinn: What?

John: You will have to babysit the Mary Sue while we are gone to the Chocolate Hot Springs in Unicornia.

Quinn: Ara’s older than me…

John: Exactly. (Uses disappearing Act)

Lena: (Coming from the living room) I am sorry. You had to suffer through his ungummed breath. (Puts hand on Quinn’s shoulder)

 

~~~~END

Mellow Yellow Episode 1: Geography

Tick and Tock are in a bedroom while Zhan is building something in the other room. The bedroom is the new one given to them, but they still like their old one better.

 

Tick: (Slurps gummy worms from a teacup) So what do you want to do?

Tock: (Revealed to be a stool for Tick, also eating gummy worms) I don’t know

Zhan: (Whistling as he gets a monkey wrench) Lalalalalalalala

Tick and Tock: (dropping gummy worms) OLD MAN!

Zhan gets brutally tackled by the girls

Tock: Hey! Guess what? I made a sweater just for you! (Holds up a silver sweater)

Zhan (annoyed, but somewhat impressed): How the blobfish did you get that much silver?

Tick: From my eyebrow hairs, of course! (Displays her lack of eyebrows)

Zhan takes Tick away and closes the door.

Tock: Did you have to leave me out! Ugh! (Bangs on the door, but suddenly gets a new idea.) I know what I can do!

With brute force, Tock headbutts into the door

Tock: AAAAHHH! My horns are stuck! (cries) WHY MUST THE WORLD BE SO CRUEL?!

 

~~~~~~~

 

After a couple of hours, Tock hears a sound on the other side of the door.

John: (opens the door violently, singing) California Gurls! We’re undeniable! Daisy dukes, swim trousers on top!  

Tock: Owww…

John: (screams like a screeching saber-toothed monkey) Waah! (instantly covers his mouth)

Tock gets up and runs out the open door, ready to scold her sister

John: Phew! If that was Len, I would’ve died back there!

Lena: (crawling out from under the bed) JOHNNY YOU COME BACK HERE RIGHT THIS INSTANT!

John sighs, knowing what is to come

Lena: I DIDN’T KNOW YOU LIKED THAT SONG TOO!

John and Lena: (singing terribly) CALIFORNIA GURLS! WE’RE UNDENIABLE! DAISY DUKES, SWIM TROUSERS ON TOP!

Tock walks in, dragging a sleeping Tick, who is being shaved by mad scientist Zhan

Zhan: (Stops the shaving) What’s California?

John: (thinking very hard) I honestly do not know.

*Awkward silence*

 

~~~~END