Why The Greatest Showman Is Not The Greatest Show

If you like The Greatest Showman, I suggest that you leave this post. This is a list of all things I despised about the movie.

1. Flaky plot
2. Just waiting for the next song
3. Listening to all the songs and thinking, “That’s a generic pop song.”
4. How PT Barnum used the weirdos for profit while telling them they would be famous
5. CGI ELEPHANTS
6. Glossing over the fact that Barnum probably abused animals
7. Glossing over the part of movie where the weirdos were abused by people on the street
8. Glossing over how the Zendaya and Zac Efron fell in love in the first place
9. Glossing over the personalities of the weirdos
10. Glossing over the personalities of Barnum’s family
11. Glossing over Barnum’s actual personality
12. GLOSSING OVER EVERYTHING
13. The opera singer did not sing opera, but a stupid pop ballad thing
14. Insulting Hannah Montana with “This Is Me.”
15. Insta Romance with Zac and Zendaya
16. The argument/agreement song between Zac and Barnum was so bland I forgot it right after it was sung
17. Most of the songs were so bland I forgot them in the same way
18. The beginning sounded like something from Fall Out Boy
19. There was this beautiful scene with Barnum and his family on the roof of their apartment with all these moving sheets and this beautiful night sky but it was wasted on terrible characters and a failure of a plot
20. How Barnum’s manipulation was seen as good while the ballad singer’s manipulation was seen as bad
21. A BUNCH OF OTHER THINGS

The Many Uses of Paperclips

Heyo, nonexistent guys!

A Very Long Time Ago, Spinette and I had a “contest” to see who could come up with more uses for paperclips.

It’s this whole thing with Divergent Thinking and Creativity, but I’m not going to go into the science-y stuff as I’m sure I’ll get it wrong. But to sum it up,

More uses for paperclips=more creativity

But, sadly, this idea failed as Spinette is either very busy or very lazy and she hasn’t done it. (Just like the 100 Follower Q&A special.)

Note: I’m not saying that using paperclips for the things on this list would be effective, efficient, or even successful. Just that you could. And also, sometimes, the paperclips are not average paperclips. They could be giant or super strong or whatnot.

A Long List of Uses for Paperclips

1. To hold papers together (obviously)
2. earrings
3. solder replacement
4. fishing hook
5. fish-feeding device
6. hair tie
7. makeshift hair tie (Don’t ask why those are separate. I wrote this like two months ago.)
8. A writing device if you were to dip it in ink
9. an eating utensil
10. weave them into a basket
11. conduct electricity
12. a weapon
13. a toothpick
14. hair accessory (This is different from hair tie.)
15. needle
16. clasp
17. button
18. zipper hook
19. retrieval device (Retrieval of what I don’t know.)
20. carving tool
21. make a sculpture out of them
22. source of metal to make a thimble
23. a tightrope
24. rope
25. a noose
26. necklace
27. bracelet (I’m surprised this and necklace were so far down the list.)
28. a bridge
29. grappling hook
30. choking device
31. lockpick
32. makeshift knife
33. a microphone for a stuffed animal
34. pretend barbershop-scissors
35. unicorn-horn replacement
36. They could be a method of communication if you folded paperclips into letters.
37. If it was giant, you could use it to build an amusement park ride
38. architecture models
39. chandelier
40. use it to poke holes in eggshells
41. tweezers
42. pick out gunk from crevices (by “crevice” I meant the spaces in a keyboard and such)
43. decorations
44. those things vining plants climb
45. back scratcher
46. a cage
47. handcuffs
48. keys
49. traps for insects
50. stirring device for baking
51. gauging cardboard
52. weed puller
53. crabapple plucker
54. if it were giant, you could fence with it
55. stilts
56. a cane
57. ice skates
58. use it to cut ice
59. If it were giant, you could make a chair
60. a candle holder
61. A mini Christmas tree
62. A Christmas ornament
63. hold pom pom balls together
64. carve soap
65. an amusement park for ants
66. an ant jungle gym
67. an ant playground
68. a mini drumstick
69. a button presser
70. nail polish applier
71. a clay carver
72. a painting device
73. a swing set
74. a replacement for Barrel of Monkeys
75. a button pressor (Ignore the fact that this was on here twice.)
76. Cut thread
77. a phone stand
78. make a metal web 😉
79. bed frame
80. axel for wheels
81. pop bubbles
82. pop tires
83. a bookmark
84. a breaker of glass
85. a push-pin
86. a hinge replacement
87. a staple replacement
88. a stick for holding cotton candy
89. a stick for holding a lollipop
90. a mini imitation trombone
91. an orange peeler
92. use it to write in sand
93. use it to write in mud
94. a screwdriver
95. pry things open
96. a nail filer
97. a chalk board-scratcher
98. a magnet attractor
99. a pranking material
100. keep shoelaces separate
101. a button pressor specifically for keyboards
102. an engraver
103. soap carving (Again, ignore the fact that this is the second time I mentioned soap-carving.)
104. a balsa wood-cutter
105. a whittler
106. a mini flute
107. a lock-jammer
108. a gum holder
109. a ring holder
110. a glove folder
111. a plant poker
112. a hook
113. a nail polisher (another repeat that should be ignored)
114. glue applier
115. use it to press those little restart buttons (This is what? The fourth time I’m mentioned buttons?)
116. a mini imitation flute (another repeat)
117. a relative of the laser pointer (I bet a paperclip and a laser pointer would have a lot of fun at their family reunion.)
118. A walking stick for a doll
119. a mini coat hanger
120. use it to make indentations in tinfoil
121. use it to make indentations in an eraser
122. scratch chalkboards without that weird feeling on your fingernails (another repeat. *Sigh*)
123. Get dust out of space between letter on keyboard
124. hold beads
125. make a brooch
126. carve your name in a tree
127. poke holes in a styrofoam cup to make a makeshift watering can
128. poke holes in eggs to extract eggs yolks (apologies for the repeats)
129. stir Jello-O
130. descale fish
131. skin small furry animals
132. use it to make a spit (I am a vegetarian)
133. Make a shish kebab!
134. unmortar bricks
135. play a washboard (I don’t think I even know what this means)
136. play the xylophone
137. Make indentations in paper that can later be shaded over to form the means of a secret code

5 Things Not to do Whilst Baking

Do NOT do these five things ever when baking. It will result in unsatisfactory results.

From now on, “it” will refer to the baked goods that you have baked or are currently baking.

1. Do not leave it in the fire too long and burn it.
2. Do not drop off a cliff of any height. (It will be difficult to retrieve your baked goods.)
3. Do not go swimming with your baked goods, no matter how much you may want to.
4. Do not mix up flour and powdery white sand from the beaches of Wyoming.
5. Do not burn your house down.

This list has been compiled from personal experiences. As you can probably tell, I usually buy storebought baked goods now.

Little Things I Enjoy

Here is a list. A certain someone gave me this idea.

Introducing: Little Things I Enjoy!

• Giving myself pep talks in the bathroom.
• Laughing at my own jokes.
• Putting wet socks on my forehead.
  • This the best thing ever! You guys should try it!
• Playing with the webs on my cheeks
• Twisting my hair
• Eating my hair, seemingly unknowingly
• Dramatically taking off my clothes
• Eating bananas from the other end
  • This is how monkeys eat bananas
• Making mini ubiquitous white birds with the art of origami
  • It’s my therapy
• tapping random things
• spinning random things (that can be spun)
• swallowing sticks of butter
  • They taste salty sometimes
• Staging fictional conversations with POI’s
  • I know other people do this too
• Acting like Arachnid
  • It’s really fun, glaring at people and collecting odd objects
• Looking at the dates on pennies to see if its recent
• Paying for food with Canadian Money
• Fantasizing about biting other people’s nails
  • Especially those people who have those super duper long nails in the World Records
• Scratching myself
• Pondering why I don’t consider Arachnid to be a POI
• Staring at things and imagining black holes to be there
• Doing office chair yoga poses
  • It’s also part of my therapy
• Pondering why Arachnid put me into therapy in the first place
• snapping my fingers
• People with low, deep voices
• Doing funny faces in the mirror
• cutting potato chip bags to discover if the ratio to air and chip is just right
  • I didn’t take Algebra for nothing, now did I?
• Wearing clothes at the mall then leaving them all in the changing room as decoration
• The cliche old perverted man in anime
  • They are quite relatable
• Eating rice, soup and ice cream with chopsticks
• Key changes in songs
• para-bam para-bam para-bop para-bop para-bam
• Blue dyed hair
  • I’ve been thinking about it…
• Using Sour Punch Straws (a type of candy) to drink things
• Wondering why the world hasn’t ended yet
• Petting jealous people
  • If you read my post “Dogs” you’ll see why
• Watching the effortless motion of cashiers scanning items
• People touching me
  • I feel so special!

So I guess that is it for my list. Comment the little things you like below! There is really no good way to end this… so this is the end.

 

 

My Favorites

In this post, I will be writing a list of my favorite things. None of this information is necessarily accurate. I will lie at my discretion. Do not assume anything is absolutely and completely true.

• Restaurant
  • IHOP
• Books
  • Red Queen by Victoria Aveyard
  • The False Prince by Jennifer A. Nielsen
  • The Keeper of the Lost Cities by Shannon Messenger
• Movie
  • Fantastic Monsters and Where to Find Them
• TV shows
  • I don’t watch TV
• Clouds
  • Heavy storm clouds, right before it rains. (But I’ll take any and all clouds. Clouds make me happy.)
• Food
  • Marshmallows
  • Chocolate (Darker the better)
  • Hot chocolate (with marshmallows and whipped cream)
  • Whipped cream (It’s like warm ice cream)
  • Ice cream (most flavors)
  • deserts in general
  • strawberries
• Drinks
  • Cranberry juice!!!
  • I probably should’ve put Hot Chocolate on this list, not the last because it is technically a liquid and thus a drink. Oh well.
  • Orange juice
  • Raspberry lemonade
  • Fruit punch
• Pen
  • It must be gel!
• Pencil
  • Papermate Clearpoint (0.7, not 0.9, not 0.5)
• Band
  • Imagine Dragons (also referred to as Envision Dragons)
• Music
  • Rock, but not heavy metal
• Song
  • Any Imagine Dragons song, although I have a particular affinity for Gold
• Artist
  • M.C. Escher
  • Magritte
• Punctuation
  • …
  • …!
  • …!
• Etc.
  • Hmm….