Random Ramblings

I’ve had a bunch of ideas for blog posts, but they’d be way too short to keep you nonexistent readers satisfied for the day, so I’m just going to shove them all together to make one decent-sized, hopefully-entertaining post. Yay addition and math! Forgive me if the thoughts are a bit disconnected.

 

Dental update–After fixing my eleven cavities, I’ve started taking care of my teeth. This includes flossing, which I rarely never did before. But I have a perfectly logical reason for denying my teeth optimal health. I didn’t like stuffing my fingers in my mouth. It’s annoying. So to remedy this issue, I got floss on a stick! With the wonderful floss on a stick, I don’t have to stick my fingers in my mouth anymore, so I now floss regularly.

 

Speaking of things on sticks, I want to discuss lollipops. A lollipop is just hard candy on a stick and I strongly dislike them.

A guide to hard candy:

Caramel=good

Jolly Rancher=bad (but I will eat them anyway)

I have two reasons for disliking lollipops:

a) They taste bad

b) The stick that lollipops come on is made of paper, which is water-soluble, which makes it an absolutely idiotic substance to use for the stick on which a food product goes because you put this stick in your mouth and your mouth contains saliva, which is mostly water, and as the stick is water-soluble, it dissolves in your mouth. This is contradictory to what is supposed to happen. You’re not supposed to eat the paper (as paper is not usually a food product), you’re supposed to consume the spherical hard candy on top of the water-soluble paper stick.

 

It’s an outrage, I know, I know, completely atrocious, but I’ve decided that I like apple cider as much as I do cranberry juice.

 

The one thing that I really, really want is a bronze spool of thread. It is my current ambition in life.

 

There are these bushes outside my house with these little red berries and whenever I walk past them, clouds of flies explode out of them for unknown reasons.

 

A random fact about Spinette and me:

  • Spinette cannot stand the songs Honey I’m Good by Andy Grammar and Welcome to the Black Parade by My Chemical Romance
  • I cannot stand That’s What I Like by ze unmentionable artist

 

From what direction do you peal a banana?

I peal a banana from the top.

 

I think it’s egotistic of people to say that aliens don’t exist.

 

Well, that was interesting. Maybe I’ll elaborate further on one of these topics in the future. Who knows? *Shrugs*

Nightmareish Dental Care

I went to the dentist today.

It was a generally uncomfortable experience. As you probably already know, I despise it when people touch me. Even if one brushes against me in passing, it takes a great amount of restraint on my part to not scream. So, understandably, it is a nightmare when a stranger is scheduled to put her hands in my mouth. Especially when that hand is holding sharp instruments that could potentially gouge my eyes out.

But, generally, the dentist doesn’t go too horribly for me as I take care of my teeth. I haven’t had a cavity in quite a few years.

And then I go to the dentist today.

And then I go to the dentist today.

I have ELEVEN major cavities.

For which my mouth will need to become devoid of feeling, which means that the dentist will not only have to shove sharp instruments in my mouth, she will have to puncture my gums with an even sharper instrument.

As you probably don’t know, we are working on a series of our irrational fears. My greatest irrational fear is needles.

To fix my cavities, I have to spend two entire days at the dentist (obviously I’ll be sleeping in my house, not at the dentist’s) and I cannot eat before either. I am very cranky when I am hungry. I’d assume I’d be even more cranky when my gums are being punctured with sharp instruments and dentists are stuffing things in my mouth and drilling into my teeth. The dentist will have to watch that I don’t bite her fingers off.

They have to sedate me.

So, dear nonexistent readers, floss your nonexistent teeth.