My Pet Moths

Dear nonexistent readers,

Due to the impending doom and sneaky approach of midterms, it seems as though the days have inexplicably shrunk.

Apologies to all who have been here long enough to have read this post before, but I will be reposting an old post.

 

When I said that my only pets were plants, I lied. Unintentionally, of course. I also had some pet moths.

Way back a long time ago, in kindergarten to be specific, everyone in my class received a board game. I mean, technically it was a board game, but it was printed on regular printing paper, which, as the name implies, is used for printing upon. Usually. Printing paper has a plethora of other uses too, which I’m sure you can use your own imagination to figure out.

So anyway, returning to the point at hand, my lovely kindergarten teacher gave us all a board game and Mexican Jumping Beans. I was entranced by the beans. My five-year-old mind could not process the magic of legumes that moved on their own. Usually, legumes require people to move them.

We were not told that Mexican Jumping Beans are not, in fact, beans, but rather they are moth larvae.

So I brought four or five moth larvae home, convinced that they were magical beans.

For a few minutes, days, or weeks, I can’t remember, we all played this lovely board game with my magical beans. It was brilliant.

Then, one morning, I wake up, as most people do on most mornings, and I decided to play my lovely board game. I was very surprised to find that the little plastic box where I kept my magic beans were full of moths.

 

Stinkbugs

I am Spinette.

I am currently being terrorized by a stinkbug.

It flaps its wings at sudden intervals, sending a fearful sting through my chest and sweat drooping down my spine.

He stares at me for a moment, then flies closer, but then, fortunately, flies in another direction, mocking me.

I feel as if though tiny ants are crawling up my neck and have instinctual urges to say “Oh god” and slap some random place of my body as if killing a mosquito.

Then the popping starts.

Pop. pop. pop.

It’s the children of that foul beast, I tell myself, as my sweat gets colder.

They get louder.

My sweat has officially reached 0 degrees Celsius and now is frozen to my back.

The feeling of ants crawls up even higher, colonizing my hair.

The stinkbug flies closer, sitting on the window, wings fluttering.

More popping.

It seems to be coming from behind, so I quickly turn my head, seeing nothing but an empty brown office chair.

It flies closer, this time on my computer mouse.

I lean away, silently screaming, eyes wide in horror.

Another stinkbug files overhead.

I stifle my silent screams.

I rub my knees together, hopefully generating enough heat to will the foul beasts away.

Eerily, he reminds me of myself, but only distantly.

The stinkbug is on my nose.

He likes the heat.

I scream.

Loud.

 

 

 

 

My Pet Moths

When I said that my only pets were plants, I lied. Unintentionally, of course. I also had some pet moths.

Way back a long time ago, in kindergarten to be specific, everyone in my class received a board game. I mean, technically it was a board game, but it was printed on regular printing paper, which, as the name implies, is used for printing upon. Usually. Printing paper has a plethora of other uses too, which I’m sure you can use your own imagination to figure out.

So anyway, returning to the point at hand, my lovely kindergarten teacher gave us all a board game and Mexican Jumping Beans. I was entranced by the beans. My five-year-old mind could not process the magic of legumes that moved on their own. Usually, legumes require people to move them.

We were not told that Mexican Jumping Beans are not, in fact, beans, but rather they are moth larvae.

So I brought four or five moth larvae home, convinced that they were magical beans.

For a few minutes, days, or weeks, I can’t remember, we all played this lovely board game with my magical beans. It was brilliant.

Then, one morning, I wake up, as most people do on most mornings, and I decided to play my lovely board game. I was very surprised to find that the little plastic box where I kept my magic beans were full of moths.