The wedding is just about to start in the Inverse Aquarium, but TICK and TOCK are having problems putting on BREAD SNADWICH’S dress.
TOCK: It’s so slippery! I can’t put it on!
TICK: It’s slipping out of my hands! (tries to keep the salami stable)
QUINN: (on the other side of the door) Is my princess ready yet? The guests are here already! (comes in)
TICK AND TOCK: SORRY!
QUINN: I’ll put it on. Besides, I am her groom, so I should take responsibility!
TICK and TOCK run out, seeing that the billions of guests that have already arrived
***
ARA: Chloe! You’re here! Now, where is Jay? I want him to die.
CHLOE is hugging herself tightly.
MASTER: YOU ALSO KNOW THE SECRET OF THE BREAD!
***
With the flashing lights and flying squids, QUINN and BREAD SNADWICH come out. QUINN is also wearing baloney and strips of salami braided into his hair. MANAGER OPPA is throwing confetti on them.
TOCK: Our child is so beautiful in that dress! (cries tears of joy)
TICK is sleeping
TOCK: DON’T YOU WANT TO SEE OUR DAUGHTER GET MARRIED?
JAY (Appearing from nowhere): So you are the bride’s mother? Where is the father?
TOCK points at TICK
CHLOE: She’s cute.
JAY: HOW? WHAT? ARE YOU SURE, MA’AM? SHE LOOKS LIKE YOUR SISTER!
TOCK (annoyed): She is.
*Awkward silence*
***
ZHAN, JOHN, KYR, and CYRA are sitting at a table together
CYRA: Hello.
ZHAN: Who are you?
CYRA: I’m in the process of finding what hair color suits me. I don’t have an identity until then.
JOHN: Like a K-pop star! (covers mouth)
KYR: John used to be one! He told me everything under that dress at the wedding shop!
CYRA: DANCE FOR US! (Touches his hair)
JOHN: I was a model, not a K-pop star! (starts to dance like a squirrel having seizures)
ATTENDANT starts singing Luna’s I Wish with her pretty voice
Everyone starts crowding around her, leaving JOHN alone. JOHN is relieved
KYR (in the crowd): YEAH! WEIRD METAPHORS!
CYRA (to ATTENDANT): Are you a K-pop star?
ATTENDANT: Yes. (Reveals her true identity as KIM TAEYEON, while singing crazy high notes)
Suddenly everyone stops everything
LENA (wearing a sticky dress): Why do I have to be the usher! (grumbles)
QUINN: Just do it!
LENA: Pfft, fine. (Pauses) Quinn, do you take this beloved bread sandwich as your wife?
QUINN: I do.
LENA: And do you, Bread Snadwich take your beloved, Quinn, as your husband?
BREAD SNADWICH: …. (hey, did you notice this ellipsis has a fourth dot which means it’s an actual ellipsis in Bread language)
The crowd is biting their fingernails. Quinn is eating his hair
BREAD SNADWICH: I—
ZHAN (Dramatically): NO! Stop the wedding! I will not let my bread sandwich go like this!
JOHN: That girl is mine! (filled with rage) Along with the house!
LENA: Um… what house?
MANAGER OPPA falls into chaos and takes TAEYEON with him
TAEYEON (singing): WHHHHHHHHY, WHHHHHHY!
CHARMING: Good morning.
JOHN and ZHAN are in a heated argument.
TOCK: TICK, CAN YOU PLEASE TURN ON THE A.C.?!
CHARMING AND KYR: Improper Grammar! (provides subtitles)
TAEYEON: Annyeonghaseyo!
*Are you at peace? Or “Hello”*
OPPA: How did you speak English so well before?
TAE: I just copied Fany! Bye, English people!
TAEYEON swims to Korea
ZHAN: Wait, where is Korea?
JOHN: Let’s go back to our heated argument!
TOCK: TICK! THE AC! (burning in the midst of the argument)
***
JAY (On the sidelines): I wanted some squid. At least some!
CHLOE (covered in squids): THEY ARE EATING ME, JAY! GET THEM OFF!
JAY: Yay!
ARA: I’ll save you! (uses Unsticky Act to unstick the squids)
CHLOE (cheery): You are my hero! Let’s get married!
***
ZHAN: THE BREAD SNADWICH IS MINE!
JOHN: NO! IT’S MINE!
QUINN: I’m pretty sure this supposed to be my wedding!
ZHAN: When you asked me if Bread Snadwich liked birds, a couple of episodes ago, I said no. How do you think I knew?
QUINN: I don’t know. And shouldn’t you get married to Tick’s—
TICK: WHAT! NO!!! I WANT TO GET MARRIED TO MANAGER OPPA!
TOCK: CAN YOU PLEASE TURN ON THE AC! (still in the fire) AND ARE YOU CHEATING ON ME? (the fire flares up)
TICK pours iced milk onto TOCK
JOHN: I’m sorry, Tick, but Manager Oppa just swam to Korea.
TICK (crying): MANAGER OPPA, I WILL MISS YOU!
TOCK: You still have me… (smoking in the remnants of the fire)
TICK is snoring
LENA (to everyone): This wedding is just falling apart! Can’t we just get this over with!? IT’S ABOUT 4.5 PAGES LONG!
Everyone claps at the new world record
MANAGER OPPA: (returns with angel wings) Thank you for the entrance!
MANAGER OPPA: I’m called Manager Oppa for a reason! Let’s get this started! Now, what’s the problem?
QUINN: These heathens are keeping me from getting married!
JOHN and ZHAN glare at him
MANAGER OPPA (With a crafty smile): Let’s prove it! We will see who loves Bread Snadwich the most in an ultimate competition! Whoever Bread Snadwich stays with is the winner!
JOHN: NO! THAT’S NOT POSSIBLE! SHE’S JUST A BREAD, AFTER ALL!
MANAGER OPPA: Strike 1!
~~~END