The Forgotten Blog Ideas

Heyo, peeps!

I’ve had many blog post ideas over the nearly-year, some of them good, some of them bad, and some which never made the cut. As I’m one to go all-out with bad post ideas, the ones that don’t make the cut are usually just too short. Like only a couple sentences long. But I guarantee that those couple sentences are funny and they don’t deserve to rot away in my notebook of blog ideas. So why not mash them together into a disconnected post and let them have a bit of the spotlight?

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• Playing hot potato with ACTUAL hot potatoes. I mean, who even does that anymore?
• When you think you’ve been eating multivitamins, but they’re actually gummy bears.
• When I’m angry at someone, I find that it helps to imagine their head as a watermelon and a conveniently-placed hammer in your hand.
• What if animals had equal rights? What if you hit a squirrel with your car and it died? Would you be charged with manslaughter (squirrelslaughter)?
• There’s morning people (early birds), night people (night owls), and me: the perpetually tired.
• Why did the chicken cross the road?
  • This joke is funny because the listener expects a funny punchline, but the punchline (to get to the other side) is so decidedly unfunny that it’s shocking, and therefore it’s funny.
• What happened to all the older people in YA fantasy?
• Nut Ramblings
  • Cashews are my favorite nut
  • Salted almonds are bad
  • Unsalted peanuts are bad
  • So since peanuts must be salted and almonds cannot be salted, peanuts and almonds can’t mix, even though they’re both nuts.
• bubble cars
• Is the scent of a freshly mown lawn actually grass blood?
• Red is my favorite flavor
• Leave an index card that is decorated and says, “Have a stunning day” in every library book you read for others to find. On the back, write, “Why, today is amazing“.
• Never stick your hand (or anything else) in the flame. It is not good for your health. (I can’t remember what I meant by this. I don’t get the italics either.)
• Sayings
  • Never ask a question you don’t know the answer to.
  • The only possible motive for asking a question is to see what the other person knows.
  • One must always believe whatever one finds on the internet.
  • One must never have any expectations at all so one will always be impressed with one’s accomplishments.
  • The worse something tastes, the healthier it must be.
• Emojis that should exist
  • Yellow circle (for when there is no emotion)
  • scowl
  • stick figure
  • bemused expression
  • one with crossed arms
  • half-smile
  • glaring
  • evil witch cackles
  • furrowed brows
• From what direction do you peel a banana?
• When I was a kid, I’d rip the heads off of gummy bears and stick them on other bodies. Is that weird?

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So welcome to a piece of my mind. If you didn’t already think I was crazy, here’s some more evidence to prove you otherwise.

This was actually really helpful because while I was looking through my notebooks, I found a bunch of good ideas that I haven’t written posts for yet I think!