This was inspired by a post of Spinette’s that I found in the trash. So yeah, credits go to Spinette.
So before I rant about Lays Potato Chips, I going to rant about Netgalley for a bit (a really little bit, don’t worry. You’ll get to your grease slices soon enough.)
So I was going to finally sign up for Netgalley today (Well, yesterday, when I’m writing this) because they have Tess of the Woods on there, a book I really want to read but hasn’t come out yet.
So I filled out all their blanks and then it asks for my birthday, so I’m scrolling through the years available, and it stops at 2000.
ARACHNID RAGE!
You have to be 18?!
People younger than 18 like to read, too!!
(A note: The lower limit of the years was 1918. What about all those 101-year-old book reviewers out there? Can’t they participate either?)
Okay, okay. Lays chips.
Hmm…
What if I do this rant thing in the form of poetry? I’m practicing my poetry.
Warning: Bad Poetry Ahead
Lays, oh Lays
A bag three-quarters full of air
25% chips
You’re ruining the world
Polluting the Earth with excess plastic
You’re terrible in ways more than one
People crave your misleading snappish crunch
And fill themselves up with grease and salt
Oily fingers
~~~~End
(My favorite chips are Pringles.)
TheWebWeavers 
🌟🌟🌟🌟🏆👍😉-JW
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NetGalley likely does not allow minors for several reasons. The most prevalent that I can think of is that signing up might enter you into a legally binding contract regarding publication rules and confidentiality. Minors cannot enter into legally binding contracts.
Air (nitrogen, in this case) is a packing material. It prevents the greasy goodness from being pulverized in transit.
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You’re probably right about Netgalley, but it’s still annoying though.
What if all chips came in a Pringles-like container?
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Pringles are reformed potato goop. Actually, they’re less than 50% potato. I digress. That’s how they fit perfectly into the container.
Actual chips are shaved off real potatoes, which accounts in the varying size and quality. In order for a manufactuerer to shove them into a tube, they would have to discard or break any chip too large for the container. I suppose they could start distributing potato chips in a small box, but I’m not sure if it would be cost effective or more environmentally friendly.
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Ew. That’s kind of gross. I suppose Pringles are uniform in a way potatoes can never be.
As you can probably tell, I’m useless when it comes to potato chips. I prefer chocolate.
What if potato chips came preshattered and in a cardboard box for you to eat with a spoon?
It would be more space-efficient since you don’t have to worry about the chips breaking further.
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Pringles are amazing. And…now I have a craving.
But how do you dip a chip that’s been shattered that much?
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Do you have to dip it? What if you just put some dip in the box and mix it all together?
It’d probably take some trial and error to get the ratio right, though.
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lays, yummy. and yes, it’s full of air.
and don’t worry about net gally. one day you’ll pass eighteen – and look back on the years and wish you were younger.
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Well, yes, I don’t particularly want to be old, but I do wish they’d let younger people read on netgalley. It seems so awesome, not having to wait as long to read books you’re excited for and helping the authors at the same time.
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yes, but i guess as these reviews are somewhat professional, that they would want their members have at least finished high school. it’s something to do with the authors signing up, i guess. i did check on them back a while, and to have my book up there i’d need to pay about 500$ so my book could be up for a few months.
There are other ways though that you can help authors. Usually authors post on their social media that they are searching for reviewers in exchange for an advanced copy, especially indie authors.
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If I were an author or publisher, I probably wouldn’t want my books reviewed by kids either (unless it was for kids in a way that adults wouldn’t understand). But that doesn’t mean that kids can’t write professional reviews either. I mean, I choose not to be serious, but others could make wonderful book reviewers.
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