A Makeup Tutorial from Spinette

Dear nonexistent readers,

Due to the impending doom and sneaky approach of midterms, it seems as though the days have inexplicably shrunk.

Apologies to all who have been here long enough to have read this post before, but I will be reposting an old post by Spinette.

Hello! Today we will go over the basics of how to cover up your web blushes! Most people don’t have web blushes because they know how to apply makeup properly, and if you are a lousy bum like me and can’t put on this stuff, this should be very useful.

First, we get the foundation! I like to use a moderate layer of cupcake frosting, since it comes in all different colors and is very diverse. Put it on your face, making sure to cover up everything! If flies and frosting lovers surround you, you are doing very well. Soak up that attention!

The next thing we do is the blush. This is a very, very, very important part of applying cosmetic appliances. I enjoy using Arachnid’s red stick that she puts on her lips. She honestly has no concept of beauty, since red is used for blushes and she doesn’t even have any! In circles, put it on your cheeks. At this point, your red stick should be only a stub. Don’t hold back!

Now for the lipstick. With the little stub you have from the blush, use the last of it on your lips. It should be pink now since you rubbed it onto the frosting (or some other shade with a touch of red if you are a person of color) This, in turn, will give a natural look to your lips. Use the whole stub.

Last but not least, the eyeliner! I use a black fine-point Sharpie to do this. The fine point will allow for thin lines and thick lines too. Use it on your eyes and your eyebrows. Make your eyebrows thick and pointy, making sure the eyebrow doesn’t even look like an eyebrow!  It is very unnatural to have eyebrows since you could look like a certain fourth-wall-breaking slug.

Most people would stop here, but I go above and beyond and do my hair as well. I usually do a messy bun, using a bread bun to measure how high my hair poofs up. On special occasions, I put sugar in my hair, since it makes me look like Elsa and it tastes nice when I get nervous.

For fashion, I usually choose long, dramatic, blood-red capes; short, sunny, yellow tank tops; and Aladdin size pants. I look good in almost everything, except high heels. I still wear them though, as a weapon for defense, in case Arachnid gets mad at me for using up her red stick.

Yay! Now you can go out and look super duper pretty! People might point out your incredible fashion sense, laugh with you on the streets, or gaze at you with lovesick side glances.

Have fun with your new look!

 

8 thoughts on “A Makeup Tutorial from Spinette

      1. Absolutely. Have you ever tried shaving with cake batter? I’ve heard of others doing it with some success but I can’t resist eating it all before I even hop in the shower.

        Liked by 1 person

  1. You are really a disgusting prick. #but never mind… everything comes back one day a thousand ful.
    Be sure of that. I don’t want to know how ugly you are, probably…

    Like

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