LENA is lonely and wondering if anyone actually remembers her birthday. She sighs, opening her present to herself. It is a sock, although there is only one. She lost the other half of the pair somewhere between buying it in the clearance section and wrapping it.
LENA puts the one sock on her hand. She grabs some googly eyes from her pocket and makes a sock puppet.
JOHN bursts in through the door. He is wearing a banana suit.
JOHN: Never fear! John is here!
LENA: Do you know what day it is today?
JOHN: Yep. It’s Wednesday.
LENA: Yes… but is it a special Wednesday?
JOHN: Uhhhh… I think it might be International Squid Day, but that may have been last week.
JOHN strokes the sock puppet, deep in thought, then looks closer at the puppet.
JOHN: Hey! It has googly eyes! Is it your birthday? You only ever carried googly eyes in your pocket on your birthday.
LENA (looking pleased): Yes it is! I’m now officially seventeen. Did you get me anything?
JOHN: I did, in fact.
JOHN drops to one knee and pulls out a ring box.
JOHN: Lena, will you make me the happiest potato in this room and marry me?
Opens ring box to reveal half eaten pretzel.
LENA looks at JOHN incredulously.
JOHN hops to his feet.
JOHN: Okay. It was part of the competition to win Bread’s love, anyway. It was to see who can throw the most romantic proposal. I think I’ll get extra points since it was your birthday/Wednesday and my ring was so tasty. I think Zhan is going to propose to Tick. Or possibly her shoe.