Due to sympathies felt by the authors, it has been decided that the ATTENDANT will receive more minimal lines to abate her unquenching thirst for the spotlight. Albeit, we will only refer to her as “ATTENDANT” to preserve her anonymity so she is protected from crazed fans and, most importantly, her ego doesn’t grow larger than it already is.
ATTENDANT (to an invisible audience): Oh! I’m so emotional. This is too much… All I can say is….. THANK YOU!
With that, she bursts into song with her surprisingly glorious voice.
ATTENDANT: MASSACHUSETTS GURLS, WE’RE DENIABLE. DULL, OLD, MILD, LIKE ONIONS ON TOP.
KYR and JOHN are the only people still in the store. KYR bursts into applause. JOHN looks aghast at ATTENDANT’S horrible interpretation of the classic song. Although, he must admit, her voice is only second to his own.
MASTER, now a ghost (he has obtained the ability to morph between the two forms), floats through the door and steals a dress for BREAD. It is made of a mixture of bologna and salami, although why a dress like that was in a fancy dress shop and not a deli eludes all.
ATTENDANT: I thought I screamed at you to get out of here!