The Many Uses of Paperclips

Heyo, nonexistent guys!

A Very Long Time Ago, Spinette and I had a “contest” to see who could come up with more uses for paperclips.

It’s this whole thing with Divergent Thinking and Creativity, but I’m not going to go into the science-y stuff as I’m sure I’ll get it wrong. But to sum it up,

More uses for paperclips=more creativity

But, sadly, this idea failed as Spinette is either very busy or very lazy and she hasn’t done it. (Just like the 100 Follower Q&A special.)

Note: I’m not saying that using paperclips for the things on this list would be effective, efficient, or even successful. Just that you could. And also, sometimes, the paperclips are not average paperclips. They could be giant or super strong or whatnot.

A Long List of Uses for Paperclips

  1. To hold papers together (obviously)
  2. earrings
  3. solder replacement
  4. fishing hook
  5. fish-feeding device
  6. hair tie
  7. makeshift hair tie (Don’t ask why those are separate. I wrote this like two months ago.)
  8. A writing device if you were to dip it in ink
  9. an eating utensil
  10. weave them into a basket
  11. conduct electricity
  12. a weapon
  13. a toothpick
  14. hair accessory (This is different from hair tie.)
  15. needle
  16. clasp
  17. button
  18. zipper hook
  19. retrieval device (Retrieval of what I don’t know.)
  20. carving tool
  21. make a sculpture out of them
  22. source of metal to make a thimble
  23. a tightrope
  24. rope
  25. a noose
  26. necklace
  27. bracelet (I’m surprised this and necklace were so far down the list.)
  28. a bridge
  29. grappling hook
  30. choking device
  31. lockpick
  32. makeshift knife
  33. a microphone for a stuffed animal
  34. pretend barbershop-scissors
  35. unicorn-horn replacement
  36. They could be a method of communication if you folded paperclips into letters.
  37. If it was giant, you could use it to build an amusement park ride
  38. architecture models
  39. chandelier
  40. use it to poke holes in eggshells
  41. tweezers
  42. pick out gunk from crevices (by “crevice” I meant the spaces in a keyboard and such)
  43. decorations
  44. those things vining plants climb
  45. back scratcher
  46. a cage
  47. handcuffs
  48. keys
  49. traps for insects
  50. stirring device for baking
  51. gauging cardboard
  52. weed puller
  53. crabapple plucker
  54. if it were giant, you could fence with it
  55. stilts
  56. a cane
  57. ice skates
  58. use it to cut ice
  59. If it were giant, you could make a chair
  60. a candle holder
  61. A mini Christmas tree
  62. A Christmas ornament
  63. hold pom pom balls together
  64. carve soap
  65. an amusement park for ants
  66. an ant jungle gym
  67. an ant playground
  68. a mini drumstick
  69. a button presser
  70. nail polish applier
  71. a clay carver
  72. a painting device
  73. a swing set
  74. a replacement for Barrel of Monkeys
  75. a button pressor (Ignore the fact that this was on here twice.)
  76. Cut thread
  77. a phone stand
  78. make a metal web 😉
  79. bed frame
  80. axel for wheels
  81. pop bubbles
  82. pop tires
  83. a bookmark
  84. a breaker of glass
  85. a push-pin
  86. a hinge replacement
  87. a staple replacement
  88. a stick for holding cotton candy
  89. a stick for holding a lollipop
  90. a mini imitation trombone
  91. an orange peeler
  92. use it to write in sand
  93. use it to write in mud
  94. a screwdriver
  95. pry things open
  96. a nail filer
  97. a chalk board-scratcher
  98. a magnet attractor
  99. a pranking material
  100. keep shoelaces separate
  101. a button pressor specifically for keyboards
  102. an engraver
  103. soap carving (Again, ignore the fact that this is the second time I mentioned soap-carving.)
  104. a balsa wood-cutter
  105. a whittler
  106. a mini flute
  107. a lock-jammer
  108. a gum holder
  109. a ring holder
  110. a glove folder
  111. a plant poker
  112. a hook
  113. a nail polisher (another repeat that should be ignored)
  114. glue applier
  115. use it to press those little restart buttons (This is what? The fourth time I’m mentioned buttons?)
  116. a mini imitation flute (another repeat)
  117. a relative of the laser pointer (I bet a paperclip and a laser pointer would have a lot of fun at their family reunion.)
  118. A walking stick for a doll
  119. a mini coat hanger
  120. use it to make indentations in tinfoil
  121. use it to make indentations in an eraser
  122. scratch chalkboards without that weird feeling on your fingernails (another repeat. *Sigh*)
  123. Get dust out of space between letter on keyboard
  124. hold beads
  125. make a brooch
  126. carve your name in a tree
  127. poke holes in a styrofoam cup to make a makeshift watering can
  128. poke holes in eggs to extract eggs yolks (apologies for the repeats)
  129. stir Jello-O
  130. descale fish
  131. skin small furry animals
  132. use it to make a spit (I am a vegetarian)
  133. Make a shish kebab!
  134. unmortar bricks
  135. play a washboard (I don’t think I even know what this means)
  136. play the xylophone
  137. Make indentations in paper that can later be shaded over to form the means of a secret code

29 thoughts on “The Many Uses of Paperclips

      1. Yes, yes, yes! A paper clip tiara or crown would look awesome 😎. I can picture it on the cover of Vogue. Of course, we’ll have Cara Delevingne as the model wearing it. No, wait. WE’LL be on the cover with a dress that has paper clips for straps.
        She doesn’t know how many paper clips she has but I’m sure the little thief knows how many paper clips I have. 😒
        Puns are the way to go.

        Liked by 1 person

      1. My oven may be a portal to hell, but it doesn’t go up to 2400 degrees, which would be required to melt steel.

        As a convenient way to suffocate people, one would be wise to stick to pillows.

        Liked by 1 person

      2. If one were to have proper equipment, melting paper clips to make something would be more feasible.
        I think mattresses might work better than pillows, since they’d be harder to remove.


      3. Security gets very suspicious of someone carrying a mattress. A throw pillow, on the other hand, raises no eyebrows.

        If you really want to go with a mattress, you also have to steal a loaded moving van for cover.

        Also, you can be bucked off the top of said mattress rather easily.

        Liked by 1 person

      4. True.
        But unless you were an infant you would most likely be able to throw off the pillow.
        And why would you need to transport the mattress? Most people sleep on them, so you could just use your target’s conveniently placed mattress.
        I hope this conversation doesn’t give anyone any ideas.

        I’d like to remind any potential readers that this is purely hypothetical.

        Liked by 1 person

      5. You can’t throw off a pillow when the person holding it has handcuffed your hands between your legs and tied your legs to the bed.

        In any event, only amateurs and those who sleep with chronic snorers suffocate people in bed. I mean, you don’t want anyone thinking they left this earthly plane peacefully.

        Now, suffocating or garroting someone at a Christmas party, a trip to the post office, or at a puppy playgroup really lets people know that this lovely individual had it coming.

        Liked by 1 person

      1. You put the pointy sides of two to four paperclips between your fingers and curl your hand into a fist. Like Wolverine claws. It keeps the serial sexual harassers in the office at a safe distance.

        Liked by 2 people

    1. Belly button: That’s disgusting. Why were you there when they were doing it? You’d think it’d be something people would want to do in private.
      Marshmallow: That is an amazing idea! I’ve done it with forks over the stove before and it tasted lovely.
      Scented Candles: In theory, it seems like it could potentially make the marshmallow better depending on the flavor. I’d imagine that vanilla would be lovely.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Some people are gross and don’t deserve to be in my presence. In return for this experience, I brought them up to the third floor terror chamber and…lost them. ::shrug::

        Scented candles are a big mistake. Makes the marshmallows taste like chemical.

        Liked by 1 person

      2. Huh. Maybe use a double-boiler to heat up real vanilla extract and toast over that?

        Torture chamber is on the fourth floor. I’m sure at least part of them came out of the terror chamber, but per the usual, nothing usable survived. They’re full of drool and blood curdling screams.

        Liked by 1 person

      3. Flavored marshmallows would be so awesome! And you could have different flavors for the seasons. Like apple cider or spring or whatnot.
        It’s a shame I’m too bad of a cook to have vanilla extract or know what a double-boiler is.

        Liked by 1 person

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