Picky Eaters

I am a picky eater. I admit it.

Who wouldn’t want to admit it? I’m being way more cautious with my food! By pushing broccoli off the side of my plate as well as sending everything else on that plate besides the cheesecake into the trash, I’m preventing myself from getting food poisoning. Just think about it— if you are in someone else’s house, especially someone you don’t know and see something questionable on your plate would you eat it? Would you eat that green-brown ewwy gooey slop?

I hope that is a no. (If you are one of the rare people who said yes, you must be a very dedicated mine digger!)

For picky eaters, most food is this ewwy gooey slop. Almost for all people, there is a gooey slop food, whether it be shrimp, to veggies, to chocolate. The only food I haven’t seen such a sloppy hatred for is mid -sugar level cereal, like Cheerios. (Let’s get real, everyone has a mini crush on that hot bee dude in the commercials, right? Just me?) Anyway, everyone has that type of food, unless you are a pig. That type of food for me is basically everything that is not healthy, such as veggies and some (a lot) fruits. I enjoy foods that are less of actual nutrients and more of these somethings called calories and sugar. How I don’t get diabetes astounds me.

Maybe, it’s just my digestive system. I’m like a plant— I get all my nutrients from the computer light. It sends me into the process of photosynthesis, but as I miraculously get nutrients, I digest all the junk in my body. This is how I prevented myself from the terrible fate of death.

Perhaps all people like me go through this process. Which means if that you don’t get diabetes and you eat nothing but sugar you are probably an advanced type of human species. And not a complete slob.

So if you are a cranky child who cannot eat Brussels Sprouts, show this to your parents. They’ll be convinced that you are actually a superhero, even if you don’t eat veggies! We are a superior race of human!

sretae ykcip ,dlrow eht revo ekat s’tel