Super Sleepy Spinette Spyder

Don’t you just love that alliteration? It just rolls off the tongue, doesn’t it? Well, don’t worry, there is more about my tongue later.

Oh. I’m a whale! 

I taste the water upon my taste-buds. The water is salty, I think to myself, taking in more, “So salty! I love it!” My eyes cartoonishly turn into hearts as I think about airport pretzels. A crab gets sucked into my mouth and as crabs do, pinches my tongue! Owie! Soon he left me, sticking his nonexistent tongue.

Getting bored as a whale, I build the salt particles into an S “shape” and fawn over the wonderful curves of ze S.

“You like S’s too?” A woman who could somehow breath underwater confronts me. She is barefooted and has butter sticks in her hand. Her eyes are as wide as saucers. “Quick!”

Suddenly,  I become a human again.

“Touch my toes!” she urges. “I will give you these butter sticks!”

I hesitate, remembering my manners, but then I give out to the amazing concept of toes and butter sticks in harmony, “Of course,” I say, petting her toenails. The butter sticks are summoned into my mouth by ze woman.

“Gud Bi!” My mouth is filled with the slick taste of butter.

Once I’m on land, I find a banana tree. Much like a monkey would, I peel the banana from the rear end. Unfortunately, I do it with my hands, since I’m not very good at foot coordination.

The woman comes from the water with a mini vacuum. I assume she is a dentist.

“I VANT TO SUCK YOUR BLOOD!” she hisses.

“You are a weird woman.” I give her a not-so-lovesick side glance.

(Actually, those two quotes happened in my brain)

“I want to clean your teeth. Your breath on my toes caused them to further in osmosis. They look like wrinkly prunes. Your teeth look like wrinkly prunes, not my toes,” she hisses. There is no doubt that dentists eat all the gunk in their vacuums.

I ran away and woke up.

SURPRISE! It is all just a made up dream to answer a tag! Don’t you just love when authors do that? I do.

Wow. That’s a lot of questions. However, they can be rounded up into one answer: Super Spineless Sleepy Spinette Spyder.

Go on, look at the title! I can say with 100% confidence that I didn’t miss a thing.

Ze Rules

1. Post ze rules
2. Leave a link to the creator of the tag (@arachnidweaver and @unciornsightings) I don’t really have to do this right?
3. Tag at least three other blogs
4. Tag the post with #thespinelessjellyfish
5. Answer these five questions
6. Create another five questions for the bloggers you tag (Note: Weirder the better!)
7. Look up the definition of yeasty and put it on the bottom of your post
8. Look up the immortal jellyfish and gawk

 

Ze Questions

1. If you woke up one morning and you were suddenly a whale and in the middle of the ocean, what would you do?
2. What is your favorite letter of the alphabet and why?
3. Would you touch other people’s feet if you were given sticks of butter to do so?
4. From which direction do you peel a banana and why?
5. You know how at the dentist they use that mini vacuum to suck up food, spit, water, air, blood, tooth chunks, and who knows what else? Where do you think all that stuff goes?

 

My Questions

1. How many cookies have you eaten in your lifetime?
2. Do you sit on your books, hoping that if you sit on them long enough, they will hatch sequels? Or do you not like sequels?
3. What would you do if you had cheeks with spider webs on them, like mine? Would you show them off or hide them under your hands?
4. What is your sock, glove and hat size?
5. Would you rather lick your own toes, kiss a stranger’s hand, or bite a friend’s nose? Or would you do all three?

 

Peeps who get tagged:

Anyone who wants to answer my questions!

also @arachnidweaver

@anotherlogophile

@plotmonster

 

Yeasty (yee-stee) – containing or resembling yeast also related towards tight woman’s pants called Yeasties

 

Tower of Dawn

First of all, I, like everyone else, judge books by their covers and this one has a stunning cover. I love the shade of blue, and the texture is warm and fuzzy.

Second, this book is insanely heavy! It’s nearly 700 pages, but it only looks three hundred. What’s up with that? The pages are pretty thin… Is this book denser than average? It is so heavy! It made it hard to carry. This is a serious issue.

The story was good overall, although it didn’t contain as much action as the other books in our beloved series and it was strange to not see our usual characters. I love Aelin and her swagger, and I was slightly upset that she wasn’t in this book, although I was happy that we got to know Chaol, Nesryn, and Yrene better.

Speaking of Chaol and Yrene, it’s like they shoved all the impossible-to-pronounce character names into one book! How did you just pronounce Chaol and Yrene in your head? It was probably very different from how everyone else pronounces it and the pronunciation that was deemed “correct”.

I pronounced Chaol’s name differently in every book until I bothered to look it up. Even after I looked it up, I pronounce it inconsistently.

My pronunciations of Chaol:

• Chale
• Chay-oll
• Kha-all
• Cowl (like scowl, but without the s)

The actual pronunciation of Chaol:

• Kay-all
• Note: Even with this clarification of the pronunciation, I have no idea what it’s supposed to sound like. I now say it as “Kale”, like the vegetable.

 

My pronunciation of Yrene:

• Why-reen

The actual pronunciation of Yrene:

• Yea-ray-nah (like Uranus)
• Note: At least the actual pronunciation for this one is prettier than what I thought it was.

 

I liked that Chaol was developed more in this book. While he was an important character in the beginning of the series his weight dwindled as it continued, so it was nice that he got his own book. All the other characters should get their own books too. Especially Lysandra.

What is this book in relation to the others anyway? It’s not the sixth book, as it happens at the same time as the fifth book. It’s definitely not a novella.

I refer to it as the second fifth book, because this confuses people and that pleases me.

WARNING. SPOILERS BELOW.

For basically the entirety of the book, I wanted to scream at the characters because I knew who Yrene’s mysterious benefactor was and who Falkan’s niece was and who Falkan’s assassin was and I just wanted to tell them. It was ripping my mind apart. And that one point where Falkan mentioned that he “knew an interesting assassin”. *Explosions*. ALL OF THE PEOPLE WHO ARE MYSTERIOUS ARE AELIN!!!

And then the part where Chaol’s spine shattered again. Another screaming moment.

It was annoying at the beginning how Chaol kept thinking he was worthless because of his disability because obviously, he wasn’t. But they fixed his spine and then it shattered again a few weeks later! That’s like finishing a manuscript for a writing competition, then realizing that you misread the word count, so you have to start over. All that work, lost!

I am glad that Chaol came to accept his wheelchair at the end, but it seemed kind of abrupt, like his entire mentality changed in the space of a few pages.

I was going to talk about another point, but I’ve forgotten.

 

Sudden Ending.