Stinkbugs

I am Spinette.

I am currently being terrorized by a stinkbug.

It flaps its wings at sudden intervals, sending a fearful sting through my chest and sweat drooping down my spine.

He stares at me for a moment, then flies closer, but then, fortunately, flies in another direction, mocking me.

I feel as if though tiny ants are crawling up my neck and have instinctual urges to say “Oh god” and slap some random place of my body as if killing a mosquito.

Then the popping starts.

Pop. pop. pop.

It’s the children of that foul beast, I tell myself, as my sweat gets colder.

They get louder.

My sweat has officially reached 0 degrees Celsius and now is frozen to my back.

The feeling of ants crawls up even higher, colonizing my hair.

The stinkbug flies closer, sitting on the window, wings fluttering.

More popping.

It seems to be coming from behind, so I quickly turn my head, seeing nothing but an empty brown office chair.

It flies closer, this time on my computer mouse.

I lean away, silently screaming, eyes wide in horror.

Another stinkbug files overhead.

I stifle my silent screams.

I rub my knees together, hopefully generating enough heat to will the foul beasts away.

Eerily, he reminds me of myself, but only distantly.

The stinkbug is on my nose.

He likes the heat.

I scream.

Loud.

 

 

 

 

Mellow Yellow Episode 2: Misunderstood Bread Lover

In the living room, Quinn is writing a love poem, while Zhan is using Tick’s hair to make his invention

Quinn: Should I use swans or doves? (vigorously writing poem)

Zhan: None. I don’t think your lady likes birds.

Quinn: Ahh, yes that’s right!

Zhan discovers that Tick’s hair is not, in fact, silver but a completely new element! He tests out its conductivity by using the hair to make an electric circuit.

Ara (to Zhan): (Coming out of nowhere) Oooooh, can you charge my nunchucks?

Zhan: (Awfully confused) Aren’t you supposed to be dead?

Ara: Yes?

Quinn: Done! (slowly looks towards Ara, and breaths in) Hi!

Ara: Hello.

Quinn goes to the kitchen where Tick is singing a lullaby to her child and hides under the table.

Tick: Lullaby, sleep tight….zzzzzzzz (Sleeping)

Quinn: This is my chance! (Using his Shadow Act, he slowly steals the child)

Quinn: Wake up! I made something for you, my love! (Carefully he unfolds the poem, blushing.)

Tick: ZZZZzzzZZZz (snorts)

 

The poem:

Violets are Red,

Roses are Blue,

I’m not very good at poems

Neither is the author

I can’t think of anything

I guess….

Swans, doves

I’ll protect you from all the birds

Beware this is becoming a free verse

I like cooking

Sudden ending

 

Bread Snadwich: …

Quinn: I knew you would love it! (hugs Bread Snadwich)

Tock is standing in the doorway, her jaw dropping down to the floor

Tock: MY BABY! (Aggressively pulls the sandwich out of Quinn’s hand) WHAT ARE YOU DOING! SUFFOCATING MY CHILD?

Quinn: You don’t understand…it was just…

Tock: (Not letting him speak) OFFICER! OFFICER!

John: (Stomping down the door, barefooted) Don’t fear, John is here! (turns to Tock and says with a Bostonian accent) So, what is the problem here, ma’am?

Tock: This little juvenile delinquent is choking my kid here, sir!

John: I’ll have to discipline him, ma’am.

Tock waves goodbye to John as he takes Quinn away

Quinn: Do I have to go to the slammer, officer?

John: No, kid! You think I would be one to send you to jail? My relationship with the police is bad enough! It’s even worse than the one I have with Lena!

Ship slowly sinks in the distance

John: And I have an even better punishment for you!

Quinn: What?

John: You will have to babysit the Mary Sue while we are gone to the Chocolate Hot Springs in Unicornia.

Quinn: Ara’s older than me…

John: Exactly. (Uses disappearing Act)

Lena: (Coming from the living room) I am sorry. You had to suffer through his ungummed breath. (Puts hand on Quinn’s shoulder)

 

~~~~END