My Sense of Smell

I have been telling my friend Leafy that her sense of smell is odd. She only smells fragrances of flowers, sharp cologne, and the stinky sniff of sweaty socks. She only smells certain things, things that demand to be smelled because they smell and smell like a very certain smelly smell that smells very… smelly. The things she smells are like the fashionistas of the nose’s world, saying, “Hey, smell me! Don’t I smell putrid?” or “Come here, smell me, child. I smell so nice…,” or in the case of cologne, “ME! ME! ME! SMELL ME! I WON’T POISON YOUR VERY NOSTRIL HAIRS AND SMELL WORSE THAN THE STANK OF THE MAN’S BODY ODOR! SMELL MEEEE!”

I feel as if other smells are being neglected, just to those strong smells that smells like a very certain smell that smells very smelly! This isn’t fair! I demand equal smelling treatment of all smells!

For example the smell of my computer mouse smells very unique and different: It’s kind of sour smelling, but a medium sour, like if you were to smell the word “mustard” the way it sounds like. Musty, but a softer, more artificial type of musty, such as humid day in Sunny California.

So people, open your nostrils! Can’t you smell any other smells?

Now, I will move on to the mishaps of Arachnid’s sense of smell—her inability to smell people! Even if she lives right next to me, she hasn’t smelled me, not even once! It has made me feel very sad, and I don’t want you nonexistent readers to be making your friends sad because you haven’t figured out their scent. But, to be quiet honest with you… Arachnid doesn’t smell like anything! [Except when sweat puddles up on her hands, oh goodness do her slippery hands smell! This is probably from typing lists vigorously. (Also, note to Arachnid: Sorry I’m not minding my manners! I’ll give you a brownie later.)]

Her lack of smell is quite refreshing, actually. I’m starting to see why “normal” people smell only strong things, because once you smell everything, everything starts to become a smell that smells like a certain smell that smells very smelly!

But I still like smelling things.

(Also Arachnid, the time “later” will never come since it’s not a number on the clock)


For those of you who are wondering what I smell like here’s the overview: I’m a bit plain, but a little sweet sometimes from the sugar I put on my hair. I may smell like perfume and conditioner (especially conditioner) on certain days of ze week, but maybe a bit smelly on the weekday nights when I type these blog posts because I don’t like to go to the bathroom when working on things.

Write this all in your journals, because I’m quizzing you next week.