Strange Things I Used to Collect

Yay! Another list! Don’t judge me.


Strange Things I Used to Collect

  • eraser shavings
  • glitter
    • I kept all my glitter in a little honey pot and it was lovely. But then people put glue in the honey pot and ruined all the glitter and the honey pot and that is one of the many, many reasons I don’t like people.
    • I had various colors of glitter, but for some reason, I mixed them into one glitter and added some other stuff too so it looked like a rainbow threw up.
  • sequins
    • I kept my sequins in the tubes that my glitter originally came in.
  • used pencil lead
    • I wanted to see exactly how much I write. This collection is still being continued.
  • broken crayons
  • crayons shaving
    • I collected many crayon shavings and I melted them all down and made a rainbow candle that looked awesome, but I was too lazy to find an actual wick so I used yarn and that didn’t work so I ended up wasting all the crayon shavings that I had spent more time and energy collecting than I care to remember.
  • colored pencil shavings
    • I thought that if I lit colored pencil shaving on fire the smoke would be colored. It was not.
  • regular pencil shavings
    • I liked lighting these on fire too.
  • colored thread
    • I like colored thread. I went to the store a few months ago and they had a spool of bronze thread, and I wanted it sooo badly. I haven’t wanted anything so badly in recent existence. But, I couldn’t think of any practical applications for the bronze thread (since I don’t sew much) other than the fact that it made me happy, so I didn’t get it and I have regretted it every day since.
  • beads
    • no one was allowed to touch my beads.
    • they were organized very specifically.
    • I didn’t like making necklaces because I didn’t like the way the necklaces looked, but I loved my beads. I stared at them often.
  • cat shirts
  • dried plant pieces
    • I still have a dried five-leaf clover, although one of the leaves has fallen off. It’s still green.
  • the circles that you get after you hole-punch paper
  • used pens
  • fairy statues
  • used staples
  • erasers

Things That I Hate

I have decided that I like lists very much and I may do more of them, depending on my preference and mood.

I am aware that “hate” is a strong word… I have nothing more to say on that particular topic.

So, moving on. I present:

Things I Hate: A List

  • The sound of people eating
    • I shudder just thinking about it. I cannot stand this sound.
  • People in general
  • Tough asparagus
    • You have to chew forever!
  • Difficult-to-spell words
    • I most often struggle with combinations of the letter “C”, “I”, and “E”.
  • Alarm clocks
    • They are a necessary evil
  • People touching me
  • That’s What I Like by Bruno Mercury
    • *Screams*
  • Small and crowded rooms
    • I hate this because it increases the chances of people touching me
  • Train stations
    • Because they are loud and small and crowded
  • General uncleanliness
  • Loud noises
  • Repetitive actions
    • This depends on the action
  • Dust left by dry erase markers
    • Although I do like eraser shavings

Nightmareish Dental Care

I went to the dentist today.

It was a generally uncomfortable experience. As you probably already know, I despise it when people touch me. Even if one brushes against me in passing, it takes a great amount of restraint on my part to not scream. So, understandably, it is a nightmare when a stranger is scheduled to put her hands in my mouth. Especially when that hand is holding sharp instruments that could potentially gouge my eyes out.

But, generally, the dentist doesn’t go too horribly for me as I take care of my teeth. I haven’t had a cavity in quite a few years.

And then I go to the dentist today.

And then I go to the dentist today.

I have ELEVEN major cavities.

For which my mouth will need to become devoid of feeling, which means that the dentist will not only have to shove sharp instruments in my mouth, she will have to puncture my gums with an even sharper instrument.

As you probably don’t know, we are working on a series of our irrational fears. My greatest irrational fear is needles.

To fix my cavities, I have to spend two entire days at the dentist (obviously I’ll be sleeping in my house, not at the dentist’s) and I cannot eat before either. I am very cranky when I am hungry. I’d assume I’d be even more cranky when my gums are being punctured with sharp instruments and dentists are stuffing things in my mouth and drilling into my teeth. The dentist will have to watch that I don’t bite her fingers off.

They have to sedate me.

So, dear nonexistent readers, floss your nonexistent teeth.


For a Mini-Wheats cereal box like me, hugging is pretty hard, and I mean that literally. People are like, “Why are you so hard? I thought tall people were like pillows!”

“That is for reasons unknown,” I say. Then they storm away. (HOH HOH IT RHYMES)

So today, I have made a blog post dedicated to hugs! To start, there are three types of hugs:

1.Side Hugs- These hugs are for the side, obviously.

2. Bear Hugs- These hugs are not for bears specifically but can be used for them. It is most commonly used for germaphobes and Arachnid.

3. Fancy Hugs- These hugs are fancy, for fancy people. They are quite advanced.

I’ll first go over the side hugs! Side hugs are used for movie nights, looking at the sunset, and to trigger awkward situations. These hugs are best for pictures, sitting, and choking your victim to death in a subtle way. Make sure to smell their collarbones to ensure they feel like they have the attention they need. Plus, that may add more ideas for compliments!

Now, for bear hugs. Bear hugs, as I stated before, are for people who enjoy glaring at you and around them, the general public. Like a bear, hunt your buddies down and stalk them. Then go in for the hug! Claw their back or neck for a cool bear-like essence! Be wild! ARRROOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

Finally, last but not least Fancy Hugs! These involve odd weird handshakes, fist bombs , and the occasional kiss on the cheek. They can really be expiremental. For example, if you are a cool skate board guy, you can go with the fist bomb collision, a Captain Hook, and the bumping of the chests. Or if you are foreign FBI agent who wants to create a connection with your pawns, you can start with bear hug combo with a double kiss to leave them disoriented, ready to poison! These hugs are really personalizable and can be used for any situation. So don’t be afraid to try new things! Here are a few things I’ve tried:

Give POI (person of interest) a Back Bear hug, then climb on their back, demanding a piggy back ride even though you are a bear.

A side hug, where your hand is on POI’s shoulder, but the other is secretly braiding their hair. (This is only for boys, sorry iron-men)

Bear hug both of POI’s feet, and leave them with you for the whole social gathering, in one place, enjoying your company. Do not let go, and for an option, lick their shins. Make sure when POI releases yellow nervous liquids pull down their pants and keep it as a memory. Smell it everyday!

(Try the last one. It is truly a life changing experience! I was put in a cage for a two year sentence! Was about to, anyway. Arachnid bailed me out…)




My Favorites

In this post, I will be writing a list of my favorite things. None of this information is necessarily accurate. I will lie at my discretion. Do not assume anything is absolutely and completely true.

  • Restaurant
    • IHOP
  • Books
    • Red Queen by Victoria Aveyard
    • The False Prince by Jennifer A. Nielsen
    • The Keeper of the Lost Cities by Shannon Messenger
  • Movie
    • Fantastic Monsters and Where to Find Them
  • TV shows
    • I don’t watch TV
  • Clouds
    • Heavy storm clouds, right before it rains. (But I’ll take any and all clouds. Clouds make me happy.)
  • Food
    • Marshmallows
    • Chocolate (Darker the better)
    • Hot chocolate (with marshmallows and whipped cream)
    • Whipped cream (It’s like warm ice cream)
    • Ice cream (most flavors)
    • deserts in general
    • strawberries
  • Drinks
    • Cranberry juice!!!
    • I probably should’ve put Hot Chocolate on this list, not the last because it is technically a liquid and thus a drink. Oh well.
    • Orange juice
    • Raspberry lemonade
    • Fruit punch
  • Pen
    • It must be gel!
  • Pencil
    • Papermate Clearpoint (0.7, not 0.9, not 0.5)
  • Band
    • Imagine Dragons (also referred to as Envision Dragons)
  • Music
    • Rock, but not heavy metal
  • Song
    • Any Imagine Dragons song, although I have a particular affinity for Gold
  • Artist
    • M.C. Escher
    • Magritte
  • Punctuation
    • …!
    • …!
  • Etc.
    • Hmm….

My Favorite TV Shows as a Small Person

This post (obviously) discusses my favorite TV shows as a small person.

For all of you nonexistent readers out there who don’t know what a “small person” is, I’ll elaborate after the colon: A small person is a human being who has not existed as many days as a medium or large person.

When I was a very small person, my absolute favorite TV show was Dora the Adventurer. I just couldn’t get enough of it. All of my things were Dora-related, as well. My bed, my backpack, my clothing, my pencils, my toothbrush, my plate, my silverware (which was actually plastic, not silver), my placemat, this cushion thing that I put on my dining chair so I could reach the table, a little chair/couch thing, my bike, my bedspread, my toys, my shoes, my socks, my hair accessories, etc. But then, one day, I decided that I hated Dora more than anything else and I kicked all my Dora-related material possessions down the static escalator.

But before I hated it, I adored it. Back in the olden days, we used this big, boxy television set, not the thin flat screens that small people today get, and I thought that Dora lived in the television and she would come out at specific times to have an adventure.

Dora the Adventurer is one of those small people-shows where the characters ask the TV-watchers for help to answer questions. When I was a small person, I thought that I was actually communicating with Dora and that she really needed me to help her answer the questions. Until one day, when I wasn’t quite sure what the answer to a particular question was and I was still thinking when the allotted time to answer the question ran out and Dora started speaking again. She told me that I was right and that I had done a good job, even though I hadn’t said anything. My small person heart was crushed. Dora couldn’t really hear me. She was a liar. (Although this does not correlate with my future hatred of Dora the Adventurer.)

When I was a slightly less-small person, my favorite TV show was Danny Ghost and after that, it was Generator Dex.

Red Queen: Some Random Thoughts

My favorite book of all time is Red Queen by Victoria Aveyard. (Although The False Prince by Jennifer A. Nielsen and The Keeper of the Lost Cities series by Shannon Messenger are close contenders.) If you haven’t read it (or them) you should.

This post does include some mild spoilers. You have been warned. (But if you haven’t read the book, I doubt it’ll make much sense.)

I am currently reading Red Queen for the fourth time.

But my rererereading it brings up some points that I always have had questions about.

It explicitly states that there aren’t any physical differences between a Red and Silver, other than the fact the Silvers are generally paler and blush weird.

That implies that if one were to place a Silver and a rather pale Red next to each other, one wouldn’t be able to tell the difference between them (unless the Silver started blowing stuff up or something).

And now my question: The inside of a person’s mouth is pinkish due to their red blood. So if a person had silver blood, wouldn’t the inside of their mouth be gray or something? The corner of a person’s eye is also pinkish due to their red blood. Wouldn’t that be silver for a Silver?

So if the inside of a Silver’s mouth was gray and the inside of a Red’s mouth was pink, then wouldn’t the High Houses know that Mare was only posing as a Silver as soon as she opened her mouth to say something?

Spinette has made an interesting theory on this point, which will follow the colon: What if Silvers have a strange affinity for cherry Kool-Aid or something else with intense red dye?

And now my second question: I have some problems with Mare’s cover story. It said that Mareena Titanos was a Silver who was raised by Reds and she didn’t know that she was a Silver until she was seventeen.

That implies that she didn’t know the color of her own blood, which means that for as long as she could remember, Mareena hadn’t bled at all. Doesn’t this mean that Mareena never injured herself? She never even got a paper cut?

And if Mareena truly was a Silver raised by Reds who believed that she had red blood, it means that she never looked in a mirror to see that her mouth was not pink, but instead gray.

Either way, I am willing to overlook these minor technicalities and just love the book. (But I would love it if someone would explain to me how these things could be. I’m talking to you, Victoria Aveyard.)

Inverse Q&A

If this were a Traditional Q&A, I would probably be answering the questions, but as this is not a Traditional Q&A and is instead an Inverse Q&A, I will be asking you, dear nonexistent readers, the questions and as you do not exist, you will not answer.

  1. Do you eat grapes with a fork?
  2. Do you take baths, showers, or other?
  3. Do you consume soup with a fork?
  4. What other activities do you use a fork for?
  5. Do you enjoy the music of Envision Dragons?
  6. What is your favorite Envision Dragons song?
  7. Do you prefer a pen, pencil, or highlighter? (For everyday writing purposes, not for everyday highlighting purposes.)
  8. Jam or butter with your toast?
  9. If you answered “jam” to the previous question, otherwise known as Question #8, what kind of jam do you prefer with your toast?


You should definitely take showers, not baths. There’s the obvious reason, with showers using much less water than baths (which is a very good reason to take showers. Save the environment!), and then there are the overlooked reasons as to why you should never take a bath.

Have you, dear nonexistent reader, ever really thought about what a bath truly is? It is soaking in your own pool of filth. Sitting for possibly hours, even days, as your grime floats around you. Does this mean that when you eventually exit the tub you will be just as dirty as when you entered the tub? Does this mean that a person who has only ever taken baths in their life has never properly gotten impeccably clean?

And if you’re like me and you like extremely hot self-cleaning episodes, you would likely take an extremely hot bath as well (assuming you don’t prefer boiling showers and icy baths). Does this mean that you are cooking yourself in a soup consisting of yourself and your filth?

And if this is indeed the case, it means that if you were ever in a boiling communal bathing location (otherwise known as a “hot tub”), that you are cooking yourself, along with your closest friends or closest strangers (in this instance, “closest” is referring to the distance between yourself and the strangers with whom you are sharing the boiling communal bathing location with.) into a large quantity of soup.

Hmm. Maybe I’ll make some broccoli-cheddar soup in my bathtub tomorrow…

Savoring a Social Gathering!

Hello! If you cannot already tell by the title, this post is about savoring a Social Gathering. It appears that Arachnid has taught to the wrong way to survive such situations and this blog post is here to fix it. Really, it’s not about surviving at all, but just partying hard and savoring the moment. So how do you really survive a Social Gathering?

1.Examine your specimens.

I cannot stress this enough! Examining your specimens is the first and most important step to looking good at a party. Look at their face, their body, their mannerisms, to see if this is the right crowd for you. If it is right, go away immediately. By doing this you create something like school, a bunch of cliques just bunching up, which is an absolute mess. Do you enjoy hugging trees? Go to the group of business men looking to destroy the environment with more paper! Are you a lazy slug? Go dance with the people doing breakdown dances, sweating of the dance floor. It doesn’t matter if they look at you weird, just have fun! But as a always hip-party-person, you must want more than just a group that doesn’t suit you, you want to talk to them, correct?

You: *eagerly nods*

2. Compliment your dishes.

This step will need a lot of examination from the first step. Don’t just compliment them on something vague, compliment them on something so specific that they won’t even notice it! Here are some examples:

“Your bleeding pinkie cuticle poking out from under that bandage of yours tastes nice.”

“The Frosted Flakes in your hair really adds some nice smells!”

“Have I mentioned that the stealth of which you flush the toilet also while passing toilet paper to me is fabulous?”

“I like the angle of which the pimple on your nose slopes. Perfect 90 degrees, baby!”

“Those farts smell like tropical fruit.”

“The way you burn your tongue while eating pizza is just adorable!”

“Your torso is quiet spherical. Like, just like Pi spherical, you know? It’s just like your head!”

These are example of perfect compliments to give your peers. If they try to back away, slowly, you are probably doing it right! Make sure to grab them by the neck and make sure they can’t get away. Only then you can move on to the next step and prove that you want to socialize with those people.

3. Physical Contact/ Making Sure They Stay

Now for the hard part, making sure they stay. You can hug them, lock the door, chain them to a chair, press all the buttons in a elevator, and parading them with questions. This is the hard part because POI (person of interest) seems to not be interested back and will try to run off. Your job is to not let them, because you know they will stay once they get to know you. The real you.

Most people get nervous at physical contact or even queasy (especially Arachnid) at such gestures. Here, confidence is key. Do not back down, and make sure your prisoners——friends have no options to escape. No one can hear them scream.




Pockets: A Rant

I am a girl. Therefore, I wear girls’ clothing. Girls’ clothing includes pants.


It is an abomination!

I am a pragmatist. Therefore, I like things that are practical. Pants that do not have front pockets are not practical.

To clarify, our pants do have front pockets, they are just FAKE. As in, you can not put ACTUAL MATERIAL POSSESSIONS in them. Only imaginary material possessions fit in these imaginary pockets. But what is the use of imaginary material possessions in an actual world?

As our pants do not have front pockets, we are forced to use our back pockets, which are absolutely minuscule. So if we somehow manage to stuff all our material possessions in these absolutely minuscule back pockets without ripping the entire pocket off, we are still forced to sit on our material possessions. What if your material possession happens to be a black hole encased in glass that would devour the entire world if the glass were ever to shatter?

Since we have no place to put our material possessions, we girls are forced to carry around inane mobile pockets called purses to tote our belongings. They are incredibly irritating and they get in the way of everything and you always have to watch out for purse burglars. If only we had actual pockets. It is quite difficult to steal a pocket.

An absolutely marvelous idea is presented in Keeper of the Lost Cities by Shannon Messenger: What if pockets were on your ankles?

Wouldn’t that be spectacular? It would solve all problems! Front pockets could be fake, but you’d still have a place to put your material possessions. And, as a bonus, you wouldn’t have to sit on your stuff (which is absolutely absurd, by the way), which means the world wouldn’t be devoured by a rampaging black hole!

A note to fashion-people: Make pants with pockets at the ankles.

Mavis Dee also makes a lovely addition to this worthwhile argument about the imperative lack of pockets which you will find by clicking on the word “link”.


Surviving a Social Gathering

Social Gatherings are horrible events that make me want to tear out Spinette’s hair stressful. Every so often, Spinette will force me to attend a Social Gathering. I think that she does it to assure people that I am not yet dead.

On the rare occasion on which I absolutely must attend a Social Gathering, I do my best to retain my sanity. I normally try to weasel my way out of them, but Spinette has learned most of my tricks. Once, on the day of a particularly dreadful Social Gathering, I poisoned myself, but Spinette still dragged me to that horrible child’s birthday party.

So, for those of you nonexistent readers who do not completely adore Social Gatherings, I have created a surefire guide to surviving (and hopefully avoiding) Social Gatherings following the colon:

Step 1: The best way to survive a Social Gathering is to not attend it in the first place. Make any and all excuses you must, but get out of it at any cost! If you fail this step, continue to Step 2, but if you succeed, congratulations, because you are done.

Step 2: If you have failed Step 1, then you will sadly have to attend the Social Gathering, but fear not, as it is most likely that you may be able to survive the night if you follow my steps word-for-word. At most Social Gatherings, people will attempt to approach you. Avoid this if possible. I’ve found the best way to do this is to immediately go the snack table upon arriving at the Social Gathering. Take a glass of fruit punch or other liquid from said snack table and go sit in a shadowy location that is out of the way. Glare at anyone who gets within glaring distance and do your best to look generally unfriendly. It is good to wear black (or dark, dark, dark gray if black is unavailable) to Social Gatherings to better blend into the shadows.

Step 3: If one unlucky soul happens to bypass your shadow-esque clothing, glares, and generally unfriendly aura, he or she might attempt to communicate with you. Be prepared for this! You do not want to be rude, as being rude is rude, so you can’t blatantly tell your visitor that you hate his or her presence and to go away no matter how much you may want to because that is rude. Bite your tongue if you must! I’ve found the best way to drive off people who wish to communicate with you is to tune out of the conversation. If you do not add anything to the conversation, they will (hopefully) eventually run out of things to say and leave you alone like you wanted int he first place. Give a vague nod now or then to give the sense that you are participating in the conversation. Personally, I find the best way to spend the time that your visitor is speaking is to imagine elaborate ways to murder your visitor. It always brings a smile to my face. If your visitor (unfortunately) happens to be one of those people who can hold one-sided conversations for hours, then it is alright to drift away when you feel it is necessary. I can assure you that this is still polite as otherwise your visitor may have been murdered.

Step 4: Leave the Social Gathering as soon as it is acceptable! (Unfortunately for me, it is only “acceptable” for me to leave the Social Gathering when Spinette does, so we are often the last two left.)

If you have survived this far, congratulations for surviving an entire (or partial) Social Gathering and doing so without dying or causing death!

Sleepy Spinette Spyder

I’m sleepy.

I would say, I’m in that moment where my eyes are crusty and I’m about to close them.

In that moment…

where everything is a pig.

And everything is bacon.

It’s 11:45, no scratch that, 11:46 and the pigs bounce on my magic carpet.

But the magic carpet is bacon, and the pigs are complex verses of trigonometry.

Everything has a separate line.

But that is not true, since everything is bacon.

Does that mean I’m bacon?

When were these rules established?

Oh yeah, right the 5th line.

Am I one to make rules? Are those rules also bacon?

Are the words I’m writing bacon? Are the questions I’m asking just bacon?

I enjoy trigonometry. Bacon triangulates.

Square. Circle.

Red Circle. Blue Square. Almighty triangle.

I think I have an idea for this post.

Red Circle is the most popular circle in her class.

Blue Square is at the end of the social ladder.

Red Circle is red and that is why everyone loves her.

Blue Square is square and that is why everyone hates him.

But Red Circle likes 90 degree angles.


I dropped my bedtime cereal.

My computer is glitching due to milk spillage.

Yet I am able to post this.




Dogs here. Dogs there. Dogs drooling on your shoe. Dogs everywhere.

Whenever I see a dog on the street, I follow my instinct-like urges to pet such cuteness, but always get a scar on some part of my body. Dogs hate me, but I love them back. It is somewhat sad that this phenomenon reminds me of my friendship with Arachnid.

Here are the stages of my relationship with dogs:

1.An elderly man (or woman) is walking down the street with an adorable dog (or dogs).

2. I swoon over DOI (dog of interest) looking at him with heart eyes, stating how adorable the dog is. This goes on for a couple of minutes.

3. I ask the elderly man (or woman) to pet her dog.

4. The owner looks at me with a lovesick sideways glance, and I repeat that I want to pet the dog, not the owner.

5. The elderly man (or woman) says, “Just pet him/her! You’ve been stalking me for hours!” (Or some other variant of the saying)

6. I pet the dog, savoring the feeling of the fluffy fur on my hands. I take some fur because I want to remember this experience forever, and proceed to walk away.

7. Then the dog bites me.

8. I feel hurt, but again, this could just be a failed sign of companionship, so I show him the proper way.

9. The elderly man (woman) gawks at me, wondering how I could master the art of dog speaking so fluently. He (or she) asks me, “What are you doing with my dog?” He (or she) is clearly jealous of the love I’m giving to his (or her) dog.

10. “Oh,” I say this the same exact way every time, “I love you, too,” Then I pat the jealous owner on the head and leave.

To be honest, I think no attention goes to the jealous dog owners. Arachnid says that taking care of dogs is a struggle, unlike her poky cactuses who don’t require much food or water to survive (this is said for both Arachnid and her cactuses). Dog owners are hardworking people, keeping a new hassle in the house just because he/she is cute and does cool tricks. So next time you spot a dog owner, make sure to give him (or her) a little pat on the head too! They really deserve it!

A Challenge

Authors are the ultimate problem-solvers. Think about it. They have solutions to everything, both possible and impossible outside of the imagination. How many narrow escapes have your favorite characters made? Daring last-minute rescues?

Every narrow escape and every daring last-minute rescue were planned and executed (with a pen) by the author.

They wrap up loose ends with a bow for their livings! There is no problem that an author cannot solve.

How many times have you stayed awake late into the night, biting your nails as you are sure that your slippery favorite character has finally met circumstances out of his or her unlimited capabilities? How sure were you that this was your slippery favorite character’s horrible demise? How many snotty tears of grief did you cry for your slippery favorite character’s inevitable end?

But how many times did your slippery favorite character reveal a complex plan to save them all that has been brewing since the first page? Or how many times did unexpected help arrive at the last moment?

The answer to this, dear nonexistent reader, is every single time because your favorite slippery character was slippery enough to slip through the cracks of the slippery pickle.

You must remember, dear nonexistent reader, that an author not only solves the problem but creates the problem in the first place. Thus, the author can always create a solution because they, unlike the poor, slippery main character, can change the problem.

In an underground cell, deep under the ground with no possible means of escape, the author can provide the slippery main character with a bobby pin in his or her hair and the skills necessary to pick a lock.

On the brink of starvation, the author can provide the slippery main character with a bow and arrows and the skills necessary to hunt. (Or a gourmet meal prepared by an excellent chef could mysteriously appear on his or her slippery doorstep.)

So I challenge you, dear nonexistent reader, to solve this unsolvable problem. I challenge you, dear nonexistent reader, to save the slippery main character from his inevitable demise.

Character had never been trapped before. He had unlimited power and unending skill. He could do anything and everything the first time with utter perfection. But now, now he was trapped and he did not know what to do. His mind was blank. All the ideas that normally fought for space in his head had suddenly disappeared.

His arms were bound to his sides with iron bands. His legs were locked together similarly. He was trapped in a coffin-like steel box, sealed completely except for five nickel-sized holes above his head for air, through which water was steadily trickling in now.

The water was up to his wrists already, and it was so, so cold. No one knew where he was, where he could be. No one would’ve looked for him anyway.

A single thought bloomed like a golden crystal of snow in his otherwise empty mind, I am going to meet my inevitable demise…