What is life?

I thought, as I sat on Arachnid’s chimney. The sky seemed to get lower as the ground slowly got higher and higher. Through the clouds I could see something small, oh so  small that it would take a microscope to see it, but yet I saw it. The reason people, animals, plants, fungi, and the bacteria live.

Pondering some more, blind to the reason right in front of me, I came to the conclusion that life is the ability the feel wonderful, rejuvenated feeling of socks soaked wet.

Here is some more things I thought about:

If olive oil is made with olives, and canola oil is made with canola plants, what is baby oil made out of?

Why are puns funny?

What does Spinette mean? My parents never told me.

Why do people give out balloons at parties? Like here, Johnny, have a sack of my breath that you can pop at anytime!

If people wear socks almost all the time, why don’t people wear gloves all the time?

What are kisses? And why do I enjoy them, even though if it’s just skin sucking?

How does a hand wave substitute for a greeting? 

How many cats does a lady need to have to become a crazy cat lady?

If babies are delivered by storks as some people say, why can’t humans fly?

Why do people put ranch on their salad, if it just gives it more calories?

Who had the idea of rapping? It’s basically just saying words to the beat of music really really fast.

Fe= Iron. Male=Man. Female. DOES THIS MEAN I’M IRON MAN?

Suddenly, a ball of glitter came from the clouds, knocking me over. I know everything now.



Pondering the Existence of Shadows

Nobody is the absence of Somebody. Therefore, he doesn’t exist. Nothing is the absence of something. Therefore, nothing doesn’t exist. Shadows are the absence of light… Does this mean that shadows don’t exist either?

Shadows are the nonexistence of light.

What do you think? Leave your opinions and conclusions in the comments below these words.


I’m just going to unceremoniously shove a link to our book, Slugventures: The Adventures of a Slug, here, in the hopes that you will hopefully check it out.