I am writing this post to clarify my cranberry juice. It has been brought to my attention that there are rumors soaring around on nonexistent wings that my cranberry juice is not, in fact, cranberry juice, but instead, blood.

I am writing this post to strike down any such rumors as I find the thought of drinking blood like some common vampire to be atrocious.

My cranberry juice is simply the liquid that comes out when you squeeze a cranberry. And, I must add, it is quite delicious.

And besides, I am a vegetarian.


There is also another rumor soaring around on nonexistent wings—this one due to Spinette—that I can morph into a spider. I am here to tell you that that idea is absolutely preposterous. I am completely and utterly human. I just have a fondness for spiders and cranberry juice.